Ultraviolet

That's right! Ultraviolet!

It all began when I saw a commercial, that featured soldiers that can turn into balls. This copies Samus Aran, my favorite video game character. Of Metroid fame. I, of course, took this personally- steam began wafting out of my ears. Veins of black, pure, rotting, hatred erupted on my forehead and neck. Probably on my heart, too, I could not see my heart, duh.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I like something a lot, and someone shamelessly steals an idea from that thing that I like (laughing in the credits, I am sure! "HAH HAH AHH, WE GOT KEV GOOD! LOL!!!"), I say stuff like "Hey, you jerks" and "Wow. Didn't Nintendo copyright that? Consarned COPYRIGHT OFFICE!"


I'm sure you say the same things. Did I mention there will be minor cursing on this blog? (Overhauled- I no longer find foul language- even minor- for the sake of humor acceptable.) Yeah. I'll try not to make it too bad though. [removed.]


So I order the movie from DirecTV.
The first scene is the ball-soldiers. Imagine my outrage. You SWINE! ROT IN THE PITS, FOUL DEMON-FLESHED FOOLS! ...I mean, that hurt my feelings!

The movie was boring at best. The plot was...well, I don't think there was a plot. At first I thought I was stupid, but then I looked at some reviews. I still don't know what happened or what the movie was about. I think it was a documentary about Smurfs. The only good thing is the name, which is, possibly, one of the best-named movies I know. That's personal, though.


The graphics look like claymation. How they managed this, I don't know. I'm not joking, you know. Claymation. At least in a few scenes. She can dodge bullets (i.e. she is never hit), and is invincible. I assume this all makes perfect sense if you've read the comics.
If you like wasting time, have a friend tell you not to watch the movie.

That's all. It was a bad movie with a bad, hard-to-follow story. That isn't to say it will not have its fans, of course. I did not get anything out of it.

There was a scene in which Milla Jovovich was shown nude from behind. Of course, this was necessary. Because...uh...it...yeah...sure, Hollywood. Sure.



Update 08/10/08: See post, My Thoughts on a Metroid Movie.

Post #1: Drama at its Finest.

So I have a blog now. A blog, as I understand it, is NOT a diary of any sort, and it doesn't make you a sissy.
Being able to look back on things seems neat, efficient, and is the way a man thinks- logically.
Well, we all know that's not true, but a lot of guys like to think so; stupid guys, that is.

Note that this blog is not really designed for anyone to read. Probably all of the entries will be long, too long to read when you could do something else (like juggle water balloons!). It'll be boring too. Trust me. I do see this as an easy way to communicate to people what I want for holidays, though, and to log events, and tell people when they need to back off. Writing things down is also an easier way to remember them, right? Of course. You idiot.

Sorry. I didn't mean that. It was a joke.

More tomorrow.
Or the next day.