February 22, 2009. RG60 Brings the Sorrow for Every Animal.

There I was, a-drivin'. If there's one thing I love to do when I'm dead tired, it's drive. The thrill of arriving without crashing. I live on the edge. No...the edge lives on me.


It all began last year. About this time- the 4th Sunday of February, 2008, which was the 24th, to be exact- I bought Echo. Echo has served me well. He picked up Star Wars lingo and thinks I'm a Sith Master. He's the apprentice. I guess.

Whatever. This is the 4th Sunday of February. Which is when I buy my sound equipment. Every year, 4th Sunday of February. With some exceptions expected in the future. Here's what I boughts this year:




DUNNA! No, more like DUNNA! Oop, that was the same thing. It's an amplifier!

The reason I chose the RG60 is because it sounds better than the other amps I tried. Except for the acoustic amps, but those have a bad wattage/price ratio and don't do electric guitar stuff.

Now, I surely couldn't use more than 30 watts, as I never expect to play for more than 100 people. But I don't like the sound of a strained amplifier. I have so much disdain for it, in fact, I prefer the RG60 at 7 o'clock and barely working than a 30-watt at 11 o'clock and using half of its volume.



It came in a good sized box. I do most of my shopping at Guitar Center, due to no other "shop" being near...well, anywhere. If you know GC, they do the same receipt-checking as CostCo. Which means that on the way out, they check your receipt.

As I walked up, I said to the lady, "Gee, I was hoping to sneak this by, but..." Then, it fell a little and hit the ground, and I said, "Well, that's why I got the warranty!" The only way I could have outdone that is if I had said, "I hope I don't forget it on top of my car."

What else...lots of loud...oh, the post title, right. The animals? They don't like it. They hates it, in fact.


As Echo would say...the weak will die out to make room for the strong.

It is the way of the universe.

Where Hal Leonard's Guitar Hymnal Goes Wrong

My mom got me a hymn book (thanks, Mom!). It arrived, as these things usually do, and I set to opening it. I said, "I hope it's a guitar hymnal." A couple seconds later, I saw that it was an "Easy Guitar The Hymn Book 146 Glorious Hymns by Hal Leonard." My dad thinks I'm psychic now.


Hal Leonard is a creepy looking guy who wears what is likely a Satanic cross around his neck and looks as if he might not have a head and has a terrible ring on his finger which looks as if it needs to cast into the fires of Mount Doom. Sorry.

I didn't have high hopes, even once I found out that Hal Leonard was a publisher and that the creature on the cover likely wasn't the man who proffered the book. If this is the guy that they choose to represent the book...I mean, what, they ran out of funding so they reanimated a corpse?


According to all previous experience, if they're selling it, there's a catch. The catch for this book happens to be rearranged sheet music. Blessed Assurance goes from D Major to G Major, and the time goes from 9/8 to 3/4.

This results in the student being blissfully unaware that the actual key is D. From what they see, these hymns are all wondrously, perfectly suited to guitar...and once you realize it's been transposed (there is no mention of this in the book), you'll have to constantly consult real sheet music.


From what I can see, this guitar hymnal goes wrong in that it tries to get a lot of muscle (146 hymns) with no bone structure (just 1 page of instruction, and it only deals with strumming, and 2/3 of the page is devoted to pictures.)

Another kick in the side of this hymnal is that, while it would have been psychotically easy to have three lines of lyrics under the sheet music and chords, he opts to put these second/third verses separate from the sheet music and chords in a section called "Additional lyrics." At least the additional lyrics are on the same page.


The only good point I can see thus far is that he mostly refrains (get it? Refrain? Nevermind, it's hymn humor, you wouldn't understand) from intricate chords, using majors, minors, and sevenths with only a few cases of Asus4 or G/D. The result is that most of the hymns are playable to the beginner.


All that said, I do believe it will have some worth. It's really an extraordinary hymnal when you consider the cesspit that is guitar hymnals at large, but I won't use it except for secondary reference. There's gotta be a shining hymnal on a hill somewhere. Someday I'll find it. We'll be friends and maybe one day...something more.


Wait, that's creepy. Forget I said that.

Meet the New Bookshelf and the New Bookreading Shelf Lamp

That's a weird post title, right? I'm trying a new thing now. I'm trying to write this as if I know what I'm doing. Cool, right? We'll see, humble fool.

Alright, you know my reading shelf? Man I'm feeling cocky. I think I'm drunk on my own awesomeness. No, I am not, I am wallowing in darkness and festering in a marshy type of gladness. Try understanding that three times fast, humble fool. I don't even get it. Think of it as interpretive blogging.

Ever hear of "alarm" words? Where a certain word alarms you? They say that the sound of a baby crying will alarm you- heart rate increases, etc. The alarm clock will alarm you. Let's all laugh at that last play on words. Anyway, yes, alarm words. Do they influence anyone other than ourselves?

Example, if I were to be alarmed by the word "ambidextrous" (it is quite freaky), would it influence you to not use the word ambidextrous any more for ever? Or would you not care? I guess I formed that question badly. Lemme give it another shot.

Wait, that's not what this post is about. Sorry.


The new book shelf. Right. See, I have a dresser in my closet. And above that dresser is your standard closet top shelf. It has stuff on it. I still won't give up my N64 or SNES (or even Dreamcast or NES, I'm a loser), so I need to store them. They take up space. And I keep getting more books and PC games (which are stored separately than video games due to their scholarly nature). And they keep filling the shelf in my closet up. I have to throw the older ones out to make the new ones fit.

(Just kidding, I actually throw the old ones out because they rarely meet my standards of excellence. And this is usually a continuous process, not simply to make room.)


Thus I got some angle piece things (the name, title or office escapes me), and some screws, and a drill, and a length of shelf. I removed that useless hanging rod that comes standard in closets and a little below it installed my very own Book Shelf. Ah, it's beautiful. I'm trying to find out how to make it less awesome. Can't think of a way. The only way is to make everything else in my room just as awesome. Shouldn't be too hard.


Thus the reading shelf lamp. Yes I know I just used 'thus' in quick succession, and since I recognize that, as if I were sic'ing it, I deem it acceptable. GG. I use a reading shelf for two reasons.

1: When I was 10 or 11 (those years blur for me), I read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with an improvised Reading Shelf design utilizing alternating hands and a large fluorescent lamp. It is more than 700 pages long and I think I finished it in two days or four days or something. Ask my mom, she'll know.
2: I've never really been able to get comfortable reading a book in any position that using a laptop could be used it. By that jumbled marring of grammar I mean that, if it's a position I can use a laptop in, I want to read that laptop instead. Laptops make the world spin on their ...its...um.

OK, that ended weirdly. Alright, so you remember my lamp that broke? No? Oh, I didn't mention it. Anyway, I kept it beside my bed, and it had a secondary lamp halfway down the main lamphal superstructure- this was conveniently accomodating to the reading shelf. But when the lamp broke I was out of light.

I didn't read anything for five years after that. I mean...no...that isn't right...LOOK, the point is, I installed a small fluorescent lamp under the reading shelf. It's sweet for two reasons:

1: My current main lighting unit is across the room. That means that I have to walk a whole three feet in pitch-black darkness to get to my bed after turning the light off. It's easy to get disoriented in the darkness, and this has resulted in many unexpected falls. Think about it. If it's dark, and all the house is dark, and it's dark outside, is it any wonder that I've wandered through my room door, the house door, and walked off the edge of the porch several times? No, no it isn't. There's no way to tell a difference between the three feet to my bed and the two doors and differing temperatures and thirty feet of the walk to the dreaded Porch Cliff, as I've come to call it.
2: This just isn't working out. Let me put it this way: Lamp = secondary light source. Secondary light source = handy. Plus now I can read, read, read, and not feel guilty for not spending the time on a laptop- because I can't use the laptop on a reading shelf- reading shelves are single-use, pretty much. Laptops make the world spin, but Samus Aran's shoulder pads reign the Sun into a cage and take captive the stars. Gosh I am fond of her.

Next up will be ... um...probably a new VCR/DVD player stand. That thing is just getting old. I think I might look into cabinetry, I'm getting sick of all of this "Let's not make a stand" riff-raff. Is riff-raff a word? It's two words? I don't care, good night, this is a weird post and long too. I haven't made one of these for a little while, have I?

Have I? I hope not. Lesson I've learned: Weird post title = weird and long post. GG.

Birthday #19, 2008!

Well, well, well. I am now 19. I don't feel much different than when I was 18, but now I'm one year closer to my goal. My goal is to live to 20. My previous goal was to live to be 15 (or 16, can't remember right now), and I made it. Then I set the goal to live to 20. After I turn 20, I am not sure what will happen. As Einstein was fond of saying, time will tell.


Sorry. That was the preamble. Or something.

Anyway, here's what I got. Because, come on, birthdays are all about the presents, let's admit it. I'll go in order of wonder. Oh, and if you like, read the relating post, The Birthday List 2008.

• A 250 GB Western Digital Scorpio Blue 5400 RPM 2.5" EIDE Hard Drive (if you don't understand that, it's the disk that is inside my laptop and spins and contains data)
• A double-cell battery for my laptop (which is a HP Pavilion dv5215us; previously my battery life was 10 minutes on the darkest screen running WordPad, now it's 2-3 hours on the 3rd brightest screen setting running an external hard drive and full operational load)
• Three books (I will not mention which ones because...well, come on. But, thanks, Debbie!)
• Another DMT Aligner knife sharpener (new and abrasive stones = sharp knives)
• A stainless steel pen which I have taken to calling "Hollow Point" because it's sharp
• Some freeze-dried ice cream. Freeze-dried ice cream is just like normal ice cream, except it's actually good.
  

And I think that's it. I already installed the hard drive, and as I said the battery is fantastic; I have not started on any of the books, and I used the pen tonight for the first time. It can cause a bit of cramping, but I've got an NDS with Metroid Prime: Hunters so I can handle it. The ice cream is uh, dry...plus it's weird if you powder it.
I have not made use of the DMT Aligner yet, but I hope to sharpen a knife to throat-cutting sharpness, yet I need to do some experiments to discover just how sharp throat-cuttingly sharp is. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill anyone. Or at least I don't plan on it. Uh, 'make my day'?

For the party, we had pizza and two cakes. One was a dark cake (chocolate), one was a light cake (strawberry and cream), following the MP2: Echoes/LoZ:ALttP/LoZ:TP/etc. plot of light and dark. They were both "log style" cakes, that is, normal cakes rolled up with itamz in them. Freaky, huh? Actually, the dark cake was more my dad making the cake of his dreams and less of it being my birthday cake. But I still appreciate it.

The jerk.




Now, there's a second part to this birthday's story. I kind of stayed up for the entire 24 hours and blogged throughout the day. You should already know this, but you're a dolt, so I'll explain it again. I'll use the posts I made to do so.


The night before, October 5th: Good Night.
I explain that I'll be up for entire 24 hours of October 6th. It's posted at 4:26 PM but I didn't get to sleep until 9:00-9:15 PM. I know, I know, I'm a jerk.

Yawn. 2:30 AM.
I'm up and about...doing things. I got up at 11:43 PM after getting 2.5 hours of sleep. I cleaned the kitchen floor and listened to Coast to Coast AM. Much ablah about nothing.

9:15 AM. The heat is on.
I started going a little bit mad. Mr. dataDyne declares me mad. I think that I need to be a little bit mad to have these delusions of grandeur that make me Kev.

12:40 PM. CBN calls for 30 days of prayer in honor of Kev's Birthday.
CBN calls for 30 days of prayer in honor of my birthday. The title says it all. The Dow also groundrocketed. My birthday is fun.

1 PM. Glenn Beck hates on California.
Need I say more? It just kept getting better, life was good. Happy birthday, Kev.

1:06 PM. Eleven Hours to Go.
The cake was being made. Dad'd been plotting it for hours. I was confined to my room.

2:34 PM. Metroid prepped. Cake being made. Three hours to go.
I comment that I can't go to the room with the bath in it. I took a break from Metroid Prime 2: Echoes so that I could spend some time on it after the party. I was pretty dull at this point, but still very awake. I needed my cellphone to contact the outside world. I forget where it was. Dad was still working on the cake.

4:50 PM. A "lull in the action."
My dad had apparently finished the cake. My mom already made the light cake on Sunday. Dad admits that he made the cake pretty much for himself. Thanks Dad. Thanks a lot.

8:30 PM. It is (almost) finished.
I declare that I forsee attaining my goal of staying up the entire 24 hours. And I comment that it was a rush. Truly, this is what I will remember this birthday for, as well as the theme of this year, which is rebirth. Somewhere after the party I continued in MP2 and got the Screw Attack, thus attaining my birthday quota for MP2: Echoes progression.

12:00 AM. Goodnight, Birthday
And to round off the day, after a drawn-out ceremony of saying goodnight to everything around me (as The Waltons), I ironically find that I have a minor case of amnesia. I mean insomnia. I was asleep by 1:30 AM at the latest.




And that's pretty much it. I think. Oh, wait, I need to say "so in ending."

So in ending, it was a good birthday. I haven't had that much fun in...a long time. At least that much fun that I can feel good about; I typically look back on fun times of this caliber with either sorrow or disgust. It leads me to despise people sometimes, but those vermin deserve it.

So if you can manage to do it, defitinitely stay up for the entire 24 hours of your birthday. 8 extra hours in the day = pwnage. Just give yourself a few extra hours of sleep the day after and there's a chance that you might get sick so take some vitamin C or whatever. I had a birthday date with my granny for today, but I had to cancel because I was on the verge of some sickness. If I hadn't of canceled... I could be the living dead right now.


Living, yet not alive...ooOOoOOOooo...

Destructive Recovery

You know how Windows has a Non-Destructive Recovery and a Destructive Recovery? One deletes everything, the other keeps your files and folders but you have to rearrange them all?

Well, I happened to get a 250 GB Western Digital 5400 RPM hard drive for my birthday (thanks, me!). So I used EASEUS's Disk Copy (recommended by Don Horsegoggles) and copied my 80 GB hard drive to the 250 GB, having the 250 GB housed in an external hard drive "box."

My original hard drive was almost full, and had been at that stage for months. Don't believe me? Here's mathermatalical proof:


Over the past months, I continually uninstalled programs and neglected importing pictures to my computer to save space and it was to the point where every game I had was uninstalled save for Sins of a Solar Empire. It was only 1.5 GB and next in line.


Anyway, I used Disk Copy today and it worked. Since it worked, I uninstalled my 80 GB drive and installed the 250 GB drive...and it worked. Here's the new picture:


Ah. Space.

It was not without one minor hiccup, however. EASEUS copied the disc so exactly that the Local Disk partition remained at 60 GB. It did not show that I had 219 GB but was exactly as the prior picture. So I used EASEUS's Partition Manager, and...it worked. I could have created a second partition called F or whatnot, but instead I enlarged the C partition to include the rest of the "unallocated" storage. Thanks to Mr. dataDyne for the tip, as he recently went through a hard drive upgrade and mentioned that he enlarged his main partition; I halfway expected it, even.

It would appear that everything commenced flawlessly. You might ask, "Kev, why do a destructive reinstall? Why not a non-destructive reinstall?"

Humble fool, I'll tell you why. It's not called a reinstall. It's called a recovery. THAT IS IN NO WAY CONFUSING, NOT ONE BIT.

That was sarcasm; actually, it is confusing. Wouldn't it be a much better (and more intuitive) idea to call the destructive recovery a reinstallation, and call the non-destructive recovery a recovery? Because the ambiguity just steams my potatoes, for real. But I digress, the reason I chose the destructive recovery is for the finality of it. I'm dramatic sometimes, yeah?


I took my own advice and, after removing all the utterly useless programs and features falsely so called (and I really gave it to them this time, it was a warzone), I connected to the Internets (thanks, Al!) and downloaded and installed AVG. Then I installed Firefox so that I could get to blogging.

Now I'm off to download eSword, also, the King James Version without Strong's numbers (so that I can copy verses without the Strong's numbers) and another version. I won't say which, but it's like in Chinese or something, don't freak out, OK?

And I'll end this post by mentioning the slightly difficult to find Google toolbar (for Firefox - for Internet Explorer). I'm ending it for two reasons: One, it's long and boring, and two, a few programs are in "We need restart" mode.


Everything should be fine as long as my old hard drive doesn't suddenly die. I'll let you know if I jinxed myself.

It went like this: There was a claw machine, and a nonfunctional headlight...

Hi, Manny Hitman! Hi, Lisa dataDyne!


So, yesterday, I went to Bible study, like I normally do. I was late. My mom had to get a new tire for the Pathy. It was about to esplode. BOOM, it would have went, and we would be glorified.

Speaking of getting glorified, I'll make that post sometime soon. I almost got ran down [several days ago]. Satan stuck his fingernail out, and I think the Lord clipped it when he saw that the Satan's Fingernail was heading for to touch me. I heard a horrible, howling, demonic scream, and the next thing I knew the vehicle stopped.


Back to current time. I know you are all slow dimwits, so when I talk about past and present, I try to distinctificate. That may or may not be a word. Anyways, I was on my way home, but we stopped at the Local Restaurant That Has A Claw Machine. I love claw machines. But I can't always play them. I am 18. Paul goes on and on about how you're not supposed to play claw machines- you should hear Pastor drone about it.

Regardless, there I was. Sitting in that old familiar room, full of temptation. "Quit you playing the claw machine like men, be strong." "When I was a child, I played claw machines, I got the toys from the claw machines, and I spent money on the claw machines: but when I became a man, I put away claw machines." "Therefore there is now no condemnation, except for playing the claw machines: this is the second death." Paul goes on and on about it, but Pastor never mentions the verses...

Pastor, dataDyne, and The Hitman were there. I couldn't take it any longer. I got up and approached the machine. Two dollars and a kindly donation of $1.25 from The Hitman later, I had myself a kingly prize!



N0\/\/ 1 f33| |1|<3 5p34|<1n9 1337. Sorry. I've been...I've been IM'ing lately.

Then reality dropped from the ceiling like a rusty spoon. (Hi, Debbie!) I remembered that the headlight was out on the passenger side. That meant I had to go through this again: Kev Gets Pulled Over By Five Polices Cars And Trucks; Police Grip Guns Warily.

With the help of all three other men, we managed to get the light out and determined that it, in fact, did not work. The parts store was closed. I live in the country: the common belief is that city stores are all 24/7. Darn country rumor-mills.

Now to the drive home. I passed three police cars, all chillin' in a lot waiting for to pull me over. When it comes to cunning craftiness, I think I'm about equal to Manny, but with crafty cunners, it's hard to tell just what level of cunning craftiness they possess. It's kind of like the hyperbole surrounding ninjas, just instead of killing, it's manipulation. Unless they're a good crafty cunner. But those are rare. It takes a pure heart, like, a Master Sword-class pure heart. No Ganondorfs.


I drove on, waiting, cunningly crafting myself a plan to get out of this mess. Mr. dataDyne had told me that if I get pulled over, turn on the dome lights. He said that it's like catnip for law-bearers. I don't know if he meant that it drives them nuts, or...

Regardless, none followed.


10 more miles to go. They could have caught up anytime...a few cars flew up doing 75 or 80, but no police. I was 500 feet from turning off of the highway when a car flew up beside me and passed me, then slowed down, and turned its lights on. Flashy-flash, they went.

Luckily, he was pulling someone else over. I don't know how it happened.


All I know is that Satan's fingernail must not have grown back yet.

So Begins More Toiling

Simulposted in Fool/Guitar and Wends.


Well, they say idle hands make decisions dull, and I think my hands must be very idle. You see, there is song in my Jeremiah 17:9 heart, and aside from song, a feeling that I won't quite be right until I learn...the dread instrument.

There is a certain pastor that did a very nice series on music. As he went on describing a bit of music theory, I found myself captivated, even if I didn't understand it. I especially liked his rant on how you can flat the 4th and the 5th and make a different genre of music. I was reminded of some lovestruck fool that can't understand what on earth their lovestriker is talking about, but is nevertheless captivated. Not that I'm in love with the guy. Oh, great, just what I need.


Anyway, it all started last Wednesday. I don't remember most of it, except that somehow I walked away with the objective of learning the piano.

...thus, with my mostly fabricated mission um, materialized, I set out with no official directive. My first step was to contact the Saints in California, as my manner is. I went through my usual middleman, and the kin folk said, "Kev, send my sister an email!" so I loaded up Gmail and wrote out a note and now I'm waiting for my Texas tea. Understand?

In the email, I posed two questions: firstly, keyboard-wise, what do I need to begin? Secondly, how do I begin?

I venture a bold assumption that you don't need many keys to learn the basics. As for beginning, I think a book/CD program should work, as it would seem logical to me that discussing complex mathematical formulas is not something to do while paying someone $50 an hour at a house that smells like antifreeze. If...if antifreeze has a scent. Does it? All I know is that it tastes great and is shiny.



That happened over the last few days. Today, I set my sights. My target: The only pianist I know.

Long story short, I stalked and cornered her and began as I usually do when people need knocking off guard. "Mrs. Manny Hitman!" I said. "You can play the piano. I want to play the piano, too!" We talked for what must have been four hours, and eventually she convinced me that she can't play hymns.

I then asked her what kind of piano I need: 50 key, 60 key, 76 key, 88 key? She affirmed that 88 key is too much for non-classical, but as she does not play hymns, she doesn't know what range is needed. And she doesn't like keyboards. I understand.


I asked her the basics of learning, expressing my mystifi...mys...inability to comprehend the perplexities of singling out and striking sets of three differing keys at once in rapid succession and with apparent accuracy. I don't think she quite understood me; it is a difficult thing to explain when you know how to play and there's a noob clinging to you and it... it just... won't... let... go!


Something needed doing, and we had already been talking for more than fourteen hours, so we parted ways. I went to what I think is my thinking chair to try to absorb what she said. I'll shorten this now and say that as a direct result of skillful cunning of her own, I now can take pictures like this:


Thanks! I'm borrowing it, and I should be able to tell if I have the mystical musical talent within a short time. It's going OK. Already, I can finger what is known as the most useless chord:

OK. From what I can tell, that's Gb Ab A G C E F G#...and I think the chord name for that is Gb/AMaug5#b, which would be pronounced "Gee-flat over A Major augment the 5th sharp-flat." Sounds like a useless chord to me.

My main goal is to learn the keys. I don't know how to do this, and I may be a bit in a bind until I get word from th---


ECHO, NO!

One of those "Hah, turns out I've been working with live wires" moments...

We were outside, minding our own, when I saw the box. "Oh my gosh! A box0r!" I cried, and we made the arduous trek to the front of our property to retrieve it. Three Medals of Honor later, we arrived at the box. We had no idea what it was, as it was from Grainger, and you know the whole joke with/about that. It was very light, and I didn't hear humming, and smelled nothing funny.

On Thursday, my Pslightly Psychotic Mother ordered an air conditioning timer. You know, one that changes the temperature during the day to 85, and the temperature at night to 75. She had been wanting to get one since she was a little girl, but no one would ever buy her one. Like I said, on Thursday she took matters into her own hands, ordering one with four time-of-day adjustments and the ability to program individual days.

You can go ahead and guess what was in the box, now. If you said "a bucket of bolts," you are very wrong.

I dove into the in...oh wait, there was an argument about this. I SERPENTED into the instructions, and before long and with a little advice from can-fix-everything Dad, I began taking the old thermostat down.

I'll save you the comparably naked pictures. Circuitry, wires...C3PO...Episode One...you know. Here's the old:


And, as if by magic, here's the new!


With two new buttons to confuse my mom and stump my dad! Woohoo! But as I was wiring up the last of the four dangerously thin wires, the system kicked on. I thought I had turned it off, but actually, the HEAT was still on, and I guess the heat includes the fan. It was one of those...well, you-know-what moments.


I got it programmed using my outrageously ingenious brain, and by 9 PM it should turn down to 74, and actually, I think I'll make the high 86 instead of 85, because we all know how special '86 was. That was the year of shocked fanboys and quite possibly the beginning of "gender identity disorder" as we know it. Go Samus!

Meet the New Computer

Today I acquired a new computer. It's an eMachines T5082. It's black and silver, and has a monitor, but the monitor has a few small problems. But it'll do. I ordered it from...well, actually, I didn't order it from anywhere. The place I got it from...well, it was removed in a hurry, so it didn't come with any cords. I had to find a typical desktop power cord, then I had to use my laptop's AC adapter to power the monitor. Come to find out, the previous user- this is uh, in no way related to me recently learning how to steal a car- had their account password-protected.

If this was XP, I'd be rolling around in fields of lillies because honestly, XP's password protection doesn't exist. It's as simple as holding down an F-key then changing a setting, if I recall. You don't need any special thumbdrive loaded with worms or virals or anticoagulants.

But Vista...is a little different. Their password hint was "[edited out- 072408]", and that wasn't the password. What a useless password hint!


Anyways, I did some digging. You have to run a boot disk or CD. Then, you use the CD's little program and "hack" away at it. I guess Vista allows you to "lock" profiles...so that you can't see them. All I saw on their profile screen was their main account, but with the program, I "unstealthed" their secondary account, which had admin privileges, and which had no password protection.

So basically, I enabled their other account which had no password, then I logged into that account, and erased the other account's password, and logged in and looked at their credit card information. Aren't I smart? No, but these guys sure are. Search the page for "Vista" and follow their instructions. It takes some know-how, i.e., if you're tech illiterate, you won't be able to do it. One word of warning: if they have encrypted their files, the files will be non-retrievable without the correct password. Study up if you have encrypted your files. Apparently, if you don't know you did, then you didn't.


So, just who did I acquire this computer from? None other than The Thirsty Wolf, the guy I previously delivered water to. As you'll note, his house burnt to the ground a few weeks ago. See my mom's blog post, Fire Season is Coming. We took a trailer of his stuff to store at our place, a computer amongst them. The computer was stored in the house. Today, he came a-howling for his air compressor.

"AWHOOOOoooooooAirCompressor!" we heard him howl. "OK." We let him in the gate, and he followed us to the trailer. He was probably impressed that we completely covered his valuables up.

He took the compressor, a box of tools, then told us that we could have the punching bag, the Good Speaker, and the ice chest. He said, "Is the ice chest empty?" I was on the correct side of the trailer to look, so I checked. It was full to the top with air tools, i.e., tools run off of air compressors, i.e., darn expensive tools! I said, "It's filled to the brim with heavy machinery!" He hopped into the trailer to get them. He laughed. "You shoulda just said it was empty!" There was a slicer (God knows its classification or technical name, I just call it a slicer), a large nail gun, and a small nail gun. And hoses. Probably some clamps, too. Ahh, bathe your senses in the technicality of the names. Culture. Culture!

Then he said, "Hey, you guys can keep the computer." I said, "Wow! Really?" he said, "Yeah." I said, "Are you sure?" and then he tapped the side of the trailer. "Yeah, you guys helped me." As he was leaving, my mom said "If your wife says that you can't give the computer away, feel free to tell us." He said that he already discussed it with his wife. Hmm. It sounds like they communicate really well.


Thanks, Thirsty Wolf and Wife! The computer has a 3 GHz processor. My mom says that she doesn't want it, so it's my new "gaming rig." It's laughable as a gaming rig when you consider that it's Vista Home running off of 512 MB of RAM and no video card. It has an integrated ATI Radeon 200, same as my laptop. My laptop's version is mobile, though, so give or take. (I think my laptop has 128 MB dedicated, and the desktop's is 128 MB shared. Ooh, shared memory...creepy, weird, pale stuff.)

I suspect that, at this point, CNC3 would completely obliterate it. The operating system can barely run off of 512 MB. It's stable, but unacceptably slow. My plan is to buy another gig of ram for it, then a 256-to-512 MB video card and call it a day (after I buy a keyboard).


I have no idea how I'm going to set it up peripheral-wise, but I think I'm going to get the monitor nailed onto a board, then it'll be just like my laptop. I can set a keyboard (wireless) and my mouse on it and, voila! Hey, if I know exactly how I'm going to do it, why did I say I "have no idea how I'm going to set it up peripheral-wise"?

Oh, it also needs speakers. Now I went and made a long post. It appears that they didn't use the computer much if at all. There's approximately 1 page of items in My Documents, most aren't even files. No installed programs that I saw. Oh, for the record...I didn't see any credit card information, I was joking. Thanks again, Wolf!

Water Day, January 17th...

Dear Diary,


Today, I got water. It went a lot better than it did last week! Last week...I'll make that post when I get a chance! But anyway, we took 1200 gallons, and the Thirsty Wolf got 430. He has a new puppy; it's the cutest! I think it's a Pit Bull, but I can't really tell. It's white and has a black and white nose- just like a dalmatian, but without the whole "horrible dog" thing! I am kidding diary!

I encountered a fly- OK, it was really a walk, hee hee! I got some pictures of it up close! Pastor is fond of mentioning "McFly," I don't know what he means by it, but I really think he means something by it. Perhaps it's an acronym? "Manners come For Leisurely Yawns." No, probably not an acronym, after all! The fly was hit by a lock. If I had to guess, it was a Flyosaurus, and the lock was a comet! Hah hah hah! Get it, diary? That was a joke! Anyways, then it fell to the ground! And it got hit by more "meteor fragments," also! (I really just crushed it with a rock, but remember, we're pretending that it's a Flyosaurus!!!)


Speaking of our pastor, yesterday, he almost peed his pants, because there were 15 people at the Bible study! That has never happened, and the closest was The Night of the Living New Church Attendees! I couldn't believe it, diary! There was...

1. The Pastor Raw Justice
   
2. Kile II
3. The Hitman
4. Don Feldick
   
5. The Fletchingbirds (they're leaving on the 16 of February; I'll have to plan a going away party for them! Stringers, bobbles, and nicks ahoy, diary!)
6. The Bruckners (Mr. Bruckner is still leading the singing)
7. The Fishingtons (they're a new couple just in for the week, and their name is super cool!)
8. A woman named Dee Dee (at least, I guess Dee Dee is capitalized twice!)
9. Mrs. Lock and her son, Mick
   
10. Mrs. Cooler (no relation to the Cooler of Dragon Ball Z!)

He had a hop and a sprig in his step (for flavoring- get it, diary? Sprig? "Sprig of parsley?" Hahaha!), and he gave me three CDs from the library by a man named Marv Tailor (thanks, Pastor Justice!) I couldn't believe it! I listened to the songs all the way home, and I especially liked one- it was called, "You Can't Get Blood From A Turnip!" It is just dandy, and it's true I think!!! I've never seen a turnip, though.

He's a good singer! His songs make me think of pure and clean things, like Adon from the Turok series and Samus Aran from the Metroid series! It makes me think of Adon because he sings imperfectly, just like she talks! She is probably my favorite voice actor in everdom, diary! If you don't like a game because it is scary and extremely nerve wracking, but you play it just to hear her voice every time you beat a level, you know she's a good voice actor! Oh, and it makes me think of Samus Aran because, well, diary...street lamps, rocks, darkness, my eyelids, the sky, and thin air tend to make me think of her, too!


Oh, and diary...speaking of being wracked... I have been wracked with terrid nightmares lately- it's horrendous! If you know how much I like pregnant women (I'm not sure why, maybe because it's a very awesome thing to be pregnant!), you'll know how disturbing it would be for me to have a nightmare about 8 or more of them dying in a very despicable fashion! I will never go into a condemned pizzeria ever if I can help it! Especially a condemned pizzeria with a pirate theme!!! And supposedly haunted!!! Never, ever, ever!


Oh, anyways, diary... it's time for me to go- I've got to milk, and everything in the world needs to be done! I'm really grateful that I have some new music to listen to while I toil, though! Thanks again, pastor Justice!

The name's Smoothie...Kefir Smoothie.

As you may know, we got a Magic Bullet for Christmas from my dearest Granny (thanks!). I guess it's time for me to start having "Kefir Smoothies" for breakfast again. My mom is pressuring me into it because "I like kefir and she hates it but she still drinks it so you should have a kefir smoothie so that you suffer too!"

Now, sorry for the language, but I don't give a DAMN if you know what kefir is or not.


I came up with this formula:

1. 6 oz strong kefir
2. 3 oz frozen fruits (strawberries give it that pink color; pastor this week told me to go pick some peaches, and I don't know if they're in season or not (according to mom, it's May)...yellow smoothies don't hold the same charm, but this is an ingredients list, how did I manage to start a line about what my pastor said in his sermon this week?!)
3. .5-1.5 oz sweetener, either honey or maple syrup (or some freak zero-calorie thing, preferably Stevia I guess?); adjust level accordingly, as kefir and fruits vary
4. 2 egg yolks (yes, raw; I couldn't suggest this if they were city eggs, so use your best discretion...or....judgment...or...do some research or something, 'kay?)
   
5. Vanilla to preference; I am not allowed to have vanilla in mine (we make our own vanilla with vanilla beans and vodka), because I am a closet drunk, and if I have a little, I have to have a lot, apparently.
6. Optional: 1 tsp. Cod Liver Oil. We have a special kind of Cod Liver Oil that doesn't taste like fish, and it's actually good (though the viscosity is still there; I swish it around in my mouth with water to remove the viscosity.) PLEASE read my mom's post on her blog: Cod Liver Oil. We order it in 12-packs. I wouldn't take it if it tasted like fish liver.
   

Then you blend it all up until it's blended and drink it. The important part is the blending, and the Magic Bullet does a bit better than a blender (and we've tried 3+ blenders), and it has 5 glasses so cleanup is tons easier.


Well, off I go. I'm making fried chicken tonight (chicken strips, not pieces) with a mayonnaise and chipotle sauce. Oh, and I'm sorry, I guess I really do care if you know what kefir is. Basically, it's kind of like yeast. But it makes milk into a type of watery yogurt (instead of rising wheat and water); you put milk in the "grains," and they make it into somewhat-thin, tart
"yogurt" that a lot of people hate and some people like. It's a different kind of yogurt I guess, I don't know.

You strain it, then put more milk, and the grains slowly grow. Maybe my mom has some links that explain it. (Mom, I linked to your blog twice in this post, you OWE me, so comment the information.) We have ample supplies of the grains, so if anyone wants to try it, contact my mom. Note: the stuff in the store isn't real kefir. That stuff is actually good; if it doesn't make your ears flatten, it isn't the real stuff.

My Shoes

I love my shoes. They keep my feet from getting stared at, and they never complain, even though I walk on them all the time. Now that's a servant's spirit. I got them especially so that I could have nice shoes to wear to church...but that didn't work out well.

You see, humble fool, they're such nice shoes, I just can't keep them clean! I have to wear them every time I choose shoes (I have one other pair of shoes to choose from.) Do I know anything about shoes? I must answer a very strong no. But I like these shoes, and that's all that counts for me.

They have several eyelets for the shoe string to run through, then at the top, there are some loops. These allows me to not have to tie my shoes every single time I wear them. I like not tying my shoes. I can hook the string around the loops; that's why they're called loops. I just love cheating the laws of physics. Einstein once said, "Brilliant is the man who denies the string gods their daily sacrifice of knot tying."




The shoes are Fitzwell Brice's. Brand Fitzwell, style Brice. Link to Zappos.com: Fitzwell Brice (Black). In case you don't know what Zappos.com is...like, wow. I've ordered two pairs of shoes from them (one pair are my dress shoes which turned out to be too big and a bit too dressy but I was too stupid to send back before the cats tore them up (the cats ignore shoes that don't need to stay perfect) and I also dug a 3' deep hole with them and I don't think they would want to take back dress shoes which someone wore when they dug a 3' deep hole to bury a goat that died from urinary calculi. [gasping for breath])

Whew...uh, anyway, I've ordered two pairs of shoes from them, and both pairs arrived very quickly with no shipping charge (I think one took an additional day because I ordered after 1 PM), but I still don't believe they don't charge for shipping. You can send them back with free shipping, as well. I still don't believe it. It's like Santa Claus; it's too fantastic to believe. Free shipping? Not only free shipping, but free overnight shipping? No. NOT POSSIBLE.



Yet it has worked. I will have to test this system, as it's getting to the point that I need another pair of shoes for non-messy-activities. Today, I spilled gasoline on my shoes (and glasses, and eyes, and pants, and shirt, and hands, and fingers, and eyebrows, and lips, and tongue, and teeth to a minor extent), and here is the picture below. Of my gasoline stained Fitzwell Brice's.


Notice the mud on them? That's fine. The yellow? That's the gasoline! My dad tells me that I shouldn't get water on leather shoes. I asked him how many cows shrivel up and die because they got caught in the rain and their skin shrunk and suffocated them, and he had nothing to say. But gasoline...I don't know if gasoline will come out. Besides, I've been wanting some of these in black since a few days after I got the brown shoes.

I'm really the kind of person who doesn't worry about not dirtying clothing unless it's dress clothing, so it's good that I have "good" shoes and "bad" shoes. Understand, I consider it a badge of honor to walk around with green on the knees of my pants from kneeling in the grass. Ever think of that word? Kneeling? Knee ling? Hatchling? Newborn? Samus Aran! Yes!



How about we put their system to a test, and order them at 12:30 PM PST on Thursday? According to their doctrinal statement delivery chart, that should assure delivery by Friday. If they do not arrive in time, I will protest bravely the iniquity dealt me. Or just deal with it and not be able to say, "Yes, they really do ship overnight for free."


ION, I need more instant coffee...I've taken to making coffee shakes in the morning. I get up, make the shake, then drink it, regardless of how tired I am or if I got 3.5 hours of sleep. If I go to sleep after that, I've earned it. My pa also uses this method (his coffee machine takes a whole 5 minutes to brew, so he drinks instant during the 5 minutes), thus why we're running low.

Iced coffee mocha sunburst whoppo vanillin wallyfruit darkburst ice beam lalaland butterfree cream sunrise surprise mocha coffee iced drink:

• 1 cup milk (goat milk if you have it, and raw goat milk if you have that)
  
• Some Ovaltine (we need more of that, too!)
• 1/2 to 2 teaspoons instant coffee. Or more, depending on how much you can handle/need; I get the jitters easily
  
• And ice to the top of the container (a handful or two); I make it in the Magic Bullet my granny purchased for me for Christmas (thanks, granny!). Believe it or not, the thing crushes ice very well (it's like a blender with a lot of cups; that is so awesomely convenient).

It's worth it simply for that reason, as pulverized ice is a comfort food to me. Yeah...you heard me...how it forms into hard ice when you bite it...oh, I'm going to go have some pulverized ice right now! I hope I don't spoil my diet!



[what diet?]

Welcome the new Vacuum

The last vacuum cleaner we got was a Bissell Powerforce Bagless- the base Walmart special vacuum. It worked fine for quite a while...over a year now, I think. Or more than a year. I am unsure of why it's not working now. We vacuum about once a week. So it was good for about 50 cleanings...so it cost almost $1 each time we used it, not counting electricity. (Insert "womp womp" sound effect here.) It's still good for, I don't know, something (maybe we can give it to Good Will), but I am personally sick of it, regardless of its ability. If it were brand-new I'd still be disgusted by it, thus would not want to get another of the same model.


I remember the day my parents brought it home. It was late evening. There was a movie on in my room...something to do with a train and a raging Hell beast- probably several of them- trying to break into it. They were creatures that moved about real fast. Anyway, at first remembrance I mistook this memory for the train in Splinter Cell (I forget which of them, except that it wasn't the train in Double Agent). I also almost mistook it for the train in Paper Mario: TTYD.

I think they also picked up a copy of Dragon Ball Z: Budokai. My brother finished it in a few hours...or I think. Those games are so confusing; maybe he just...I don't know. It was so very boring, playing the matches over and over, listening to some poor VA making a fool of himself. And every time you failed a match you had to listen to the "cutscene" again. Ugh. I hate Dragon Ball Z. Now I've gone and gone off topic.

I cleaned my room especially for the vacuum, so I could vacuum it. Now I will do the same for the living room. It is 1:11 PM. A walla, one shazam, and two botta-bings later...


...and after four and a half hours of laboring, my work is finished! Yes, I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the forces of filth away if but for a season. I only got one garbage bag worth of throwaway garbage; so that means the rest of the garbage stayed in the house, if you know what I mean. (That is to say, I basically just piled stuff on top of stuff in the corners! Ouch.)


My room is a total wreck now (it wasn't before?); I need to clean out my closet. Like a man. And throw stuff away. Like a man. I shave...therefore, I can do any manly deed. Including throw away useless stuff. My lack of use of my dresser is the main problem; I'll have to sort that out. But here I go, Carrying on Like A Schoolgirl. I'm also Pondering Plotting and Planning.

The new vacuum is a Dirt Devil Vibe Quick Vac. You can click the link for a picture. It looks kind of...weird. And it's very hard to push compared to the Powerforce...but it's a lot simpler, in some way. We'll see how I feel in a few weeks. It's got a cute, dandy little hatch at the bottom for emptying. Speaking of emptying, lookie what I got off of the floor!

Yes, 1 pound, 13.5 ounces of dirt and pet hair!
For good measure, I vacuumed a mint up along with the dirt. I don't want it to have bad breath. Or...dust.


My dad hates it when I clean (yet hates it when it's cluttered). My parents typically have a lot of stuff in the living room that should go in their room. "Oh, you're not my father, I don't even have enough time to properly defecate!" he says out of the blue. Really, if someone doesn't have enough time to use toilet paper, something is wrong. Though...it does explain why he always smells feces and no one else seems to.



Actually, I think I should erase that last bit. I'll get it in editing.

Like a man.



Tomorrow I will post about ice cream. Stay tuned. Or actually, just check back tomorrow at intervals. I guess staying tuned would be hitting refresh a lot, and that'd just be stupid, because I probably won't post until noon or something. Off I go to learn about...one anothering. Bleh bleh blah blah do this do that, be kindly affectioned "wah wah wah." UGH.

Internet Speed is Back and So is the Water!

Everything is like a blur now. If you don't have access to broadband, let me say that I am very, very sorry, and understand well your position. I spent well over 5,000 hours on a computer with dialup, so believe me, I understand.

We have Wildblue satellite internet, in case you didn't know. Recently my mom acquired a virus which downloaded...something, endlessly, up to 3 GB worth a month. We have a 7 GB per month limit, and typically we will hit 3-4 GB. With the virus, we went over bit by bit until finally, they cut our speed down to 100k or so. It seemed much slower, but eh. Ugh is all I can say to that. I had to spend 2-3 times as long on everything, and I officially was branded as being addicted to the computer again. Thanks a lot, dad.


Today I also went to get water. They had it back Saturday afternoon (see the backstory here: When Getting Water Isn't Easy), but I wanted to wait a day for the flood of thirsty fools to cease. Come to find out, they did something to stir up a bunch of dirt (or other ruffian particles), so our water is yellow. See a photo, below. Mmm, mm. Aren't you envious of our filthy water? Not ...not even a little?

Please?


Last year about midway through my Twilight Princess playthrough, I saw our neighbor, the Thirsty Wolf. Now, a year later, I saw him again! I am only 1/4 through at this point; we need to pick up a pizza from the Local Hairy-Man Operated Pizzeria. You can guess what they're infamous for. Eyuck...but aside from the...hairy part, they have good pizza.

I've seen our neighbor once throughout the year, and I saw his wife a few times, 2-3 I think. Good thing I saw him; otherwise, he might have thought his tank ruptured and was letting dirt in. I've made almost $1000 this year from delivering water to him. It sure doesn't seem like a thousand dollars when you spend it each week like a crazed fool! Donate this, donate that, sow a seed, make a love pledge, bring it to the storehouse, and you can't give until you've tithed!


...speaking of spending money like a crazy fool, Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls arrived today, as I prophesied. I should go join one of those prophecy cult meetings worship festivals! They do have prophecy worship festivals, right?

I will try it out tonight, and hope that it isn't like most 8-bit games I've played. You know, pointlessly overly hard. Shouldn't be too bad, right?

Highspeed transfer VS. USB 1.0

So tonight I made an attempt to transfer some of my mom's pictures (9 GB worth! Wow!) to my computer. It failed miserably. The SD card didn't work, the new external hard drive we got tonight (a 500 GB My Book marked down from $170 to $130) wouldn't work, and it was just a mess.

These are the problems you encounter when you have a computer that is 6+ years old that has USB 1.0, no Firewire, no CD burner, and no DVD burner. It seems to be across the board; I get the same error message with the SD card as I did the previous external HD. It must be...I don't know.

Bah. Once more. Bah. Again, now, with feeling. Bah. Humbug! Humbug! Pancake flapperjacks!


I'll just wait until my mom buys a USB/Firewire upgrade...but then again, for the cost of buying the $40 upgrade, we might as well just buy a new desktop. OK, maybe desktops aren't that cheap, but darnit, I'm mad at my mom's computer right now. Oh, it's disclaimer time.


Disclaimer: I am in NO way an expert in computers. I studied purchasing laptops for about a week when I purchased my laptop a year ago, and it's easy to apply that to purchasing a desktop.

Go look at this Gateway GT5405E, and rage against my mom's machine with me. Ooh, feel the hate. Tss, burn.

A 2.8 GHz dual-core, 1 GB memory, 250 GB hard drive...only problem I see is that it has 2 RAM slots, and both are taken up by 512 MB chips/board/cards/whichever (max RAM: 2 GB). It's got Vista premium. The graphics processor looks like the only lmao but we have a (better) GPU on the current desktop. It costs $300, and shipping would make it around $350.

Then there's this eMachines T5230, which has the same processor as my laptop, only it's 2.3 GHz and it's a dual core. It also comes with Vista and a 250 GB drive. The difference is that this one has only 1 RAM card, which is 1 GB (max RAM: 2 GB). Actually...a reviewer argued that it has 2x 512, and Tiger Direct is usually wrong when contested by anyone. It has a Nvidia 6150SE GPU...only thing I know about that GPU is that it's shared memory, and I think the 128 MB GPU on our current desktop is 128 dedicated. It is also $300.

Then there's the Gateway GT5407E, which is almost the same as the first Gateway, except that it has a slightly different processor (it's still a 2.8 Dual Core), 2 spare RAM slots (max ram: 4 GB), and a 320 GB HD. It also comes with a TV tuner. I'd choose this model over the first Gateway, the 05E. This is the 07E.

I believe those 3 are the top 3 on Tiger Direct as far as refurbished in the $300-$400 price range. Now...would I choose the eMachines, or the Gateway 07E? First things first, only looking at Tiger Direct is a mistake. You have to vary your search to different sites, but given the choices...oh...I suppose since we already have a GPU, I would choose the Gateway. The 320 GB HD pushes it over.

The next step towards buying one would be A: see if the need is logical (it might be), B: get the money together and see if it's possible, and C: research the heck out of them and find others. But the really awesome, amazing thing about desktops is the ability to upgrade them. So any small lack of foresight can be remedied easily.


For example, I got Command and Conquer: Generals as a birthday gift from my dearest Granny several years ago. I was so overjoyed! I loved it already!

I put it into the machine, and...lo and behold...it didn't work! It would crash the game and dump me onto the desktop just in the opening movie. If it were a laptop, I'd be out of luck. But it was a desktop, so my mom bought me a...I think Nvidia GPU. Then it worked. I was happy. I think I may have peed my pants; I can't remember.



Of course...I would install the current desktop's HD into the new desktop just to spite it, therein taking care of the file transfer problem. Assimilation. The Borg have it down right. Anyway, I consider the hard drive the soul of the computer, and we've had that old desktop for 6+ years. It's also refurbished (we would not have bought a new one), so I have no doubts about refurbished computers. It's still going very strong, and it's a generic brand, to boot. Get it? To boot? Computer humor! Laugh, man!

Of course, first things first, determine if there's a need. We'll see how all this pans out.

Things to do, things to do

OK, first on my list is edit the wedding for Bess. The (editing) program arrived yesterday, and tomorrow will be my first free day. I will attempt to chronicle my experience with the program and with editing the wedding to the best of my abilities, as it is the duty of I, the Supreme Camcorder Bearer. In fact, I was the only Camcorder Bearer, and like Obi Wan to princess Leia, I am their only hope.

But tonight I have more pressing matters. First things first, I need to eat. I had a great breakfast (my mom made pancakes, and I had peanut butter on them for the first time in a long time, and they were good, despite my ill-conceived complaining!), but that was 14 hours ago, and now I'm hungry. I will heat up some enchiladas that she also made. My mom makes good enchiladas. How? I don't know. She just does. It's one of those things that moms do. Or, my mom at least.

Oh, that burned my tongue. Ouch. OW!

OK, time to let them cool. I use a "three ouch" method for determining if a dish is too hot. Darn. I know, I'll "surf the channels" to see what's on. Fine, I'll settle on an episode of "Cops." I'm sure that says something about me, like I enjoy basic brutality or realistic suffering, but right now it's the only thing on and I learn stuff I can use everyday (like "don't do drugs" and "don't carry illegal weapons").

OK, that's done. Now to read my mom's blog.

Done. Now I know what a..."crying poormouth" is.

Firefox does not recognize "poormouth."

Troubling.


OK, now to make a post about []. Away to the next blogger window!


At right! OK, you can't see. Now it is 11:08 PM.

OK, the TV is annoying me. Off it goes. OK, the lights are annoying me. Off they go. One light on. Me and my mom's favorite light. It's a dandy little dude with a light blue finish who sits aside from the couch and provides excellent ambient light. But this is not the window I should be in. It is 11:14 PM.

11:56 PM. I am still working on it.


I smell dog poop. Darn it. Agh. It's noxious. Eh.

It's 12:35. Buh. I am going to find the source of the horrid stench. It is driving me batty.

OK, so far I've determined that it is localized to my chair. There's two possible sources; the horrible, filthy garbage can next to me (a defiled "recycle" can that my brother throws other garbage in), or the cat box (though, the box is 6 feet from my chair).

Having removed the garbage can, I no longer smell the noxious odor. Praise God!

Darn brother sabotaging me with his garbage can antics. "I know, I'll do this on purpose to mess with Kev!", he said to himself. (Kev clenches fist).


It is now 1:14 PM, and I do not have the post even halfway finished. It's a hard post that I had to reword 3 times (the biggest problem is that the "Painless Guide to Writing" arrived, and its advice seemingly kills most sentences- they claim it'll help you to *not* sound mechanical! It must've been written by a human-hating robot, or I need to read it more).

Goodnight. I am going to go sleep like a man gone mad. Don't you hate (there's that overpowered word again, let's use "dread" next time) it when you have to combine two large subjects into one post (a backstory and story), and you have to whittle it all down until it's short enough to be a post? I dread it. There, I did it!

Television on its way

Did I finally take the mad flying leap off of the cliff of LCD TV ownership? Would I do that without consulting myself first? What do I mean by "Television on its way?" What else could I mean? Have I gotten that book on grammar yet?


First things first, I would not do that (order an LCD TV) without consulting myself first. Actually, if I convinced myself to spend $600 on a TV, I would rather spend my money on a DSLR camera, then I could mess with the settings until I could get pictures of a normal TV. I know my Mom's old camera could do it half of the time, and so can mine. I like the memories of photographing those dinosoids in Turok 2 more than I liked the game. A lot more. Remember how I was *SO* grateful I remembered to turn the flash off because I thought the enemy would see me?

Did I mention I love my camera? It's a...uhh....uhm...I am unable to locate my post about my new camera. You know, the Nikon Coolpix S10? No? Oh, fiddlesticks! I forgot to blog about it!? No way! No!

Well, I got it months ago. It was a sort of present of some kind, I suppose, as my Mom payed for half of it and I payed for the other half. It's technically a family camera, but I am the only one who takes pictures. Like this one of a helicopter passing over our house. And I mean right over. Like, 100-15o feet above and within 50 feet of being directly over.

Actually, let me edit this picture a bit. It's blurry.


Before:

After:

Ahh, modern technology.

It is a Nikon Coolpix S10. It's a P/S that has a swivel-head design. See a picture of the swivel head in the last photo here, where my Mom actually blogged about it. Gah, how could I not blog about my camera? It's hard to believe I've had it for three months now.


While I feel extremely robbed (for some reason) by a non-traditional design, the non-traditional design leads to great things. For example, if I wanted to take the below picture of some items I have hallowed, I would have had to get on a step ladder. But my camera allows me to swivel the lens so I was able to hold it directly above the items, yet still see the LCD viewfinder. OK, so I could just take blind pictures from above without seeing the viewfinder, but it'd take lots of longsuffering. There are all sorts of other uses, as well. If I wanted to photograph my eye, I could look through the viewfinder while I did it. I can even look through the LCD viewfinder to see what's on top of high shelves, something ordinary cameras could only do through taking pictures then reviewing the pictures.

(I was unable to upload the Hallowed Items picture due to blogger technical difficulty).

The one problem? There's no normal, non-LCD viewfinder. I guess that's a problem. I wear glasses, so I can't (or rather, it's hard to) use those for me, thus it works out. It's a 10x optical zoom, which is very neat. Then, add digital zoom, and I can take pictures like the one below. Very, extremely far from amazing, but I like it considering I know nothing about moonophotography.


That isn't a real word/term.



How did I get talking about my camera? Oh, right. DSLR. Anyways, I ordered a new satellite box (receiver), thus the "television" on its way. Yes. The dreaded time-sucker satellite will soon be restored to power. I'm going to attempt to watch nothing but Star Trek: Voyager, Christian programs (Les Feldick, Christian Movies mainly), and Walker: Texas Ranger. Those are honestly the only programs I care about. Perhaps one or two I may have forgotten ("I am human, after all, after the fall, so I forget" is one of my catchphrases I never get to use).

I also ordered a copy of Chuck Norris' book Against All Odds. It's probably got a fist hidden in it which at some point pelts you good. We'll see.

On Hold: The Razor.

Well, since I have extra time, I am not quite sure what to do. Today, I called Walmart to find out if they had a certain electric shaver, the Philips Norelco 7140XL. Our old shaver broke, yet still today I saw my Dad using it. What broke, you ask? One of the covers came off of one of the blades (it's a 3-head model). He's shaving with the two while avoiding the other rapidly spinning, demonic, sharp head that would give him something akin to what happens to a raw chicken leg placed in a garbage disposal, but in the face.

I wanted to ensure it could not be bought from Walmart, and I also didn't want to trouble my dear, dear parents with searching about aimlessly for it. I gathered my honor, and all my courage, and put away my pride, and I called.

"Hello this is Walmart happy holidays, what can I do for you?"

"Uhm, yes, I am looking for a representative in personal care?"

Keep in mind that my voice sounds especially deep and I have trouble pronouncing some words as my sinuses are clogged.

"What the HELL do you mean, personal care?" the lady sounds outraged.

"Uh, like, personal grooming care," I began (I meant to say "like electric razors") to say, but she interrupted.

"Eww! What do you mean?!"

"LISTEN YOU LOUSY JERK," I began. I had to deal with this. "PERSONAL" DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN SEXUAL ORGANS! AND GO TO HELL! AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE, MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A GUTTER TO NOT DRAG YOUR MIND THROUGH, YOU PERVERTED CARCASS OF FLESH AND BONES!"

"...OK then, let me transfer you."

• I am waiting now. First song that comes on is Away in a Manger.
• The second is "Sleigh Ride."

At this point, someone talks to me. They claim that razors would be in 'home care.' They proceed to ruthlessly place me on hold.

• The third is The First Noel, or something along those lines (it had "noel noel" in it)
• I couldn't identify any phrases in the fourth song.

At this point, someone else picks up the phone. Wondering who I'm waiting for. I say, "home care." "OK, let me transfer you."

• I couldn't identify any phrases in the fifth song.
• The sixth song is "O Holy Night."
• The seventh song is "What Christmas means to Me."
• The eighth song is Jinglebell Rock.

They then made an announcement that it's time for the employees to do a "safety sweep." I wondered if they would abandon their phone answering posts to do that.

• I couldn't identify the ninth song, except for the words "toda," "Elohim," and "Yeshua" (all Jewish words) in close proximity to each other. It was Jewish singing, and at the end I identified the phrase "rock of ages." Despite my efforts I could not identify the song.
• The tenth song is Sleep in Heavenly Peace.
• The eleventh song is "The Coolest Pair" by Clint Black.
  

At this point, someone came on. "Hello, who are you waiting for?"
I decided to change up my strategy. "Yes, I need someone to do an inventory check in house wares for an electric razor." "OK, please hold."

• I couldn't identify any phrases in the twelfth song.

Surprisingly, someone came on very soon after the last check. To ask me what I am on hold for. "I need an inventory check for an electric razor," I said. "Please hold." She put me on hold. In a sinister fashion.

• Sleigh Ride was on again as the thirteenth song.
• Santa's on His Way/Christmas Time is Here is the fourteenth song.

At this point, I had hit the 50-minutes-on-hold mark. Some lady who sounded happy answered. I told her, "I need an inventory check for an electric razor." "OK just a second, let me transfer you LOL" was her response. She was kind and nice and I believed her in my naive way.

• The fifteenth song was "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm," but NOT THE VERSION BY BILLIE HOLIDAY. Ugh. NO. NO. NO. NO. It was a guy. NOT A WOMAN SINGING LIKE A GUY WHO HAD A HORRIBLE VOICE AND NO GRASP OF MELODY.
  

Another representative answered. I was sure I could trust the nice lady from before who told me it would only be a short while and to keep running towards the goal!

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Hi! My name's Kev! Oh, boy! I totally trusted that other lady!" "OK?"

"I need to know if you can do an inventory check for an electric razor." "Uhh, sir...this is the toy department."

I sunk into my chair as small squiggly cartoon lines depicting frustration arose from my head. She transferred me to somewhere. I couldn't believe it, within a minute someone answered!

"HI my name's Kev hi hi don't hang up PLEASE hi how are you!" "Iam(sic)...OK. What are you on hold for?" "I need an inventory check on a razor!" "An inventory check?" "YEEAH!" at this point, my tongue is hanging out of my mouth, I'm on the edge of my seat, and my eyes are bugging out with pure anticipation!

"An inventory check on food?" she confirmed. Still looking straight ahead, my eyes shriveled back into their sockets and with my tongue still hanging out, my open-mouthed grin turned to a malformed, open-mouthed frown as my eyebrows met my nose.

"No...razor. Shaving," I announced pitifully. No one would hear me. "OK let me transfer you."

It took several minutes for the frown to undo itself. I stared at the clock. Slow-motion set in. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Flea.

What?

Tick. Tick. Tick...

That's better.

• The sixteenth song was O Holy Night again.
• The seventeenth song was I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas.
• The eighteenth song was What Christmas means to Me again.
• The nineteenth song was Walking in a Winter Wonderland.

And thus with 4 songs 14 minutes pass. I then hung up. I had been on the phone with my Mom (I love my little pay-as-you-go phone and no one can take our love away!), and she checked, and they did not have the razor in stock. Instead, they had the model down from it. I asked her to just get that. I slumped into my chair and thought bad thoughts. I also asked her to get some white chocolate chips, some chocolate chips, and some red and green candy canes, so I couldn't of thought too bad of thoughts, but I thought as bad as I could. I focused on how I spent 68 minutes and 20 seconds causing Walmart a higher phone bill. Then I added some self-pity by realizing I hadn't done a thing while on hold except jot down song titles.

I sat slumped festering in my self-pity, disappointment and wrath. I considered calling off buying the lower model razor. While probably the same razor, I don't know why it's $20 cheaper. Some reason, obviously. And razors last for years, and I don't want to regret this in a year or two.

Then, my Dad called. Whilst wandering aimlessly throughout the store, they came upon a GIANT DISPLAY PILE of the razor I had wanted originally. My Mom was furious. She went right over to customer service to complain. My Dad narrated it to me:

"OK, she's in line. OK, she's talking to the lady. She's being very animated. Alright, she's smiling now, I had better get off the phone before she sees me talking!" (click).

I was then happy. I learned two valuable lessons from the process: always look for display piles when items are out of stock, and never stay on hold for more than 65 minutes.

My parents are now home.

When It Ships, it Pours

Today, six packages arrived. I could barely carry them. I managed to carry them in one hand- my left hand is injured, due to using a pole-driver yesterday. Steely iron laying in sun + force exerted on hand + shock of metal impacting metal (which my hand cushioned) = very, very sore, sensitive hand. Next time, I'll have my brother do it. The items:


The People Under the Stairs DVD
Left Behind: Apollyon
Left Behind: The Kids: The Vanishings
Live Like a Jesus Freak (bigger than I thought it would be)
These Will Not Be Left Behind (stories of those saved from the fiery pits by reading Left Behind series)


And the album I totally ordered from the rock band Aberdeen City, The Freezing Atla-...wait just a slip-slappin' minute here!

I didn't order an album by Aberdeen City! I order two albums dc Talk! I order, they arrive, I play CD player- everyone happy! Everyone!

To make matters worse, the people I ordered dc Talk albums from are both in California! So this isn't just a badly executed attempt at slapstick humor here, people- this could be a bona fide case of SIBER STOCKING!


This one came from Colorado. I didn't order nothin' from Colorado- the last thing I ordered from Colorado was a pizza, and that was during my rebelling years (5-7 years old), and it was only to give a pizza deliver man trouble. If you're reading this, pizza delivery man (Hank), I am truly sorry. Please forgive me.

The person seems to think it's from eBay, so let's humor the witless dolt and check eBay...... oh no...nothing ordered on eBay...



MOMMY HELP I HAVE A STOCKER

Move over, Paint! VEC'X0RED!44

Well, I think I've said it before, "I like to use Paint (the program)."

I know. Nerds would call me a nerd.

Gangsters would call me a gangster. Poes would call me a Poe. Flowers would poke fun at my colorful pedals.


Anyway, I've always wanted to make a comic (internet comic). I just love the idea of it. Problem is, I have trouble making jokes in a comic setting. However, I am very good at coming up with jokes for Flash animation settings.


So on to the Vec'xored part. Vec'xored comes from the word Vector...Vector graphics.
Uh, Vector Graphics, "Xored."

Flash is a program that can be used to make movies of certain things, like an animation program. You can make interactive websites, website elements, animation, etc. It works with Vector Graphics. These are (in certain ways) much superior to...I think bitmap or whatever, the kind that Paint and Photoshop use. Vector graphics...uhh...look here.


I've always admired Flash animation...it is a mini-cartoon, about 3-8 minutes long (usually- typically it goes by MB count, and normal size is 5 MB or so). It costs nothing to make one- just your time, hopefully your skill, a computer, and a copy of Flash. Once you payed $1200 for the computer (unless you already have a computer) and program (unless you already have the program), and practiced for two years intensively to learn to draw, you're set!

The problem is, the community of Flash is steeped in, how shall I say, 'wickedness.' Typical, teenager-soaked, pervert-filled community. This isn't a problem for me, because I don't seek any social relations online, but if I need some advice on something, or a voice actor, I'll have to deal with them. Of course, they aren't all bad, in fact a lot of them probably aren't, but you know what they say...the horse is only as good as the whip.


So far, I made a checkerboard!


Picture at right!



This was made using a Vanishing Point, and
following along with a tutorial. It's time consuming, not really hard. You just have to learn how to see the thing and make it if you're not gonna follow a tutorial.


Then I drew a forest background, following along with a tutorial. All I have to do is change the shapes of things, make this tree black...and I'd have a dead forest.

Doesn't it look neat?

Well, it sure does.


See the trees?...right there between the rocks...man that looks cool. I am a complete sucker for these types of graphics.


Anyways, this all started when an idea for Flash entered my brain several weeks ago. In a dream. Team A. The joke is, they don't know what the "A" stands for, and it is in NO way related to the A Team (I didn't even realize the connection was present). I was agonizing over it, and I told my mom how I want to make a flash movie, and she bestowed 'pon my meager existence...FLASH MX 2003 (Added to the Fire)!

Although it's an older version, it will still let me develop my skills. The "you-can-get-by-with" Flash MX version is 2004, I do believe. Flash 8 Professional is the current version, Flash Pro 9 is the next version, I don't know of release date. Did I mention Flash costs like $500? My mom got this handed down from her job. Praise God!

The characters are 2 male special forces, one female special forces Ninja.

This is a rough draft of her (FN's) character (no body yet, obviously.) Edit: picture omitted.

I had so much fun, and got so frustrated drawing her hair. I had to draw out crazy rough drafts of her ponytails on paper (this was the fun part, because I made a lot of progress, fast), then draw them in Flash, then redraw, stretch, skew, rotate, shade, and erase and start over.

The basic idea is a hair part a bit to the right, with one ponytail on the left, and two smaller ponytails on the right (plus the indispensable hair hanging down into her face). The hair took 3.5 hours to draw, the eyes .5 hours, the mouth 15 minutes, and the ears 15 minutes, the nose 20 minutes, the eyebrows 25 or so minutes, and the basic shape of the head 1.5 hours (this is including the placement of eyes, ears etc.)

I'm still not satisfied with her hair- it just doesn't look like it goes into a ponytail on top, does it? Oh well. I'll figure it out eventually.

Seeing's how she's a ninja, I think she needs some sort of headband, or mask, or some such. However, in my dream, she in no way was dressed like a Ninja. She did have lighter boots than the guys though, and no earpiece. She used a Katana, and I'm sure I can think of plenty of Ninja-related weapons...she's also the team "medic."

I already have a backstory partway planned out for her, and she's so far my most developed character.