Welcome the 'tas2' tag.
So there I was, chillin'. You know me.
Then I saw the advertisement! It pulled on my heartstrings; the way it made itself look like an ax-murder flick (not that I like ax-murder flicks, but the advertisements are killer-neat), the way it offered me a view into modern-day Christian self-help on a very serious topic...I couldn't resist. It drew me into its world and there, captured my attention.
After four minutes of the same five, indiscernible words being sung fifty times to really bad contemporary christian music, I knew exactly what it was- a case of MDD. Music-driven-drivel.
"Blah blah blah I used to be a pastor, blah blah internet has made pornography available to everyone anonymously, blah blah blah blah."
Every episode (three of them, about twenty minutes each) introduced an agonizingly long, painstaking bit of music- and the last one had a grand finale of three words sang two hundred times. Two hundred times in rap = two minutes. Two hundred times in country = six minutes. Two hundred times "with feeling"? Man, oh man, that song never ended.
The not-so-bullet-pointed point of the movie was that some poor fool who is an pornographer is someone's daughter. This point, as far as I can tell, was only expressed in one song (and not the grand finale)...it seems more like a preview for an actual movie, yet they want to send this to every church in America. And they want me to pay for this.
\
Perhaps my negative feelings on this whole failed attempt at producing Christian self-help is based on what my mind came up with when I read the title.
Somebody's Daughter. (Lightning flashes over title. Dramatic music.)
A man, caught in the trenches of pornography addiction. No one knows. His daughter is at college. One day, he comes across pornographic images of her. Now he has a conundrum; he has to tell his wife about it, but then she'll know how he found it. A story of telling the truth, them having to deal with two disasters at once (and he gets his trust betrayed in a major way as well- and the parents, despite the awesome rift betwixt them, have to stay strong for/against their daughter), lots of tears, and finally triumph. And he realizes that all along, these women have been someone's daughter. Dunna dunn. Dunnnnnnn. Plot, storyline, tension, drama. Stories are like...well...I won't use that analogy, darn it.
Maybe I'm just bitter. Yes, that's it. I'm bitter, and the WHOLE WORLD is sweet. I'M THE ONLY CRAZY, BITTER ONE. JUST ME!
"I only went off course once in my life. I was fourteen and mad at the world. I even got a wonderful red leather jacket...loved that jacket. Few days later, as I walked past a corner, my first best friend hit me right across the side of my mouth with a baseball bat. Then my second best friend stepped out, and they started beating me with them...knocked out five teeth, shattered twelve, seemed to try to break my ribs below my breasts, split my left triceps open by blunt trauma. I kept repositioning...like getting comfortable in bed, but the goal is to not be hurt as much. I looked like a rotten, bruised banana once they were done...blood all in my hair. I cried."
-
"Wow.
"...
"What did you do to them?"
-
"I didn't do anything to them...I did burn the jacket and smelt the baseball bats, though."
Showing posts with label Tas2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tas2. Show all posts
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Brinstar, The Martian Queen, and My Life as a Teenage Robot
Brinstar is one cool word. If I were a word, I'd be ...well, alright, I wouldn't be Brinstar. But if I were a country, or city, or a secret underground lab where alarming transgenic experiments occurred, I'd sure be Brinstar. What does transgenic mean?...oh, it means that.
And if I could choose my first childhood crush, it'd be the Martian Queen. She's fabulous. I can't really have a crush on her now, just grudging respect. And maybe a little admiration. That's only a few steps below ...wait...
What was it about Ann...oh yeah, I remember. Because she says, "You love her, don't you?" and he says, "Yeah, I think I do... We'd never work." Then she says, "You could fall in love and marry me," then he says, "Yeah...and we could name our first son Jaymann, and we could watch the sunset every morning (sic)," and throws an arm around her.
Ann. She makes pain disappear.
(Tries to, at least.)
As for My Life as a Teenage Robot, it's got the same kind of hilarious fight scenes as Justice League Unlimited or the Incredible Hulk movies, coupled with the ability for the protagonist to be destroyed in diverse ways. You'd have to spend a minute talking with me to understand, really. Maybe I'll go into it further in a future post; as for now, I gots to go. Gots to go.
Go to gots. To.
...go.
And if I could choose my first childhood crush, it'd be the Martian Queen. She's fabulous. I can't really have a crush on her now, just grudging respect. And maybe a little admiration. That's only a few steps below ...wait...
What was it about Ann...oh yeah, I remember. Because she says, "You love her, don't you?" and he says, "Yeah, I think I do... We'd never work." Then she says, "You could fall in love and marry me," then he says, "Yeah...and we could name our first son Jaymann, and we could watch the sunset every morning (sic)," and throws an arm around her.
Ann. She makes pain disappear.
(Tries to, at least.)
As for My Life as a Teenage Robot, it's got the same kind of hilarious fight scenes as Justice League Unlimited or the Incredible Hulk movies, coupled with the ability for the protagonist to be destroyed in diverse ways. You'd have to spend a minute talking with me to understand, really. Maybe I'll go into it further in a future post; as for now, I gots to go. Gots to go.
Go to gots. To.
...go.
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