Nothing to do?

It sounds strange, possibly even alien, but I have nothing to do. Nothing sounds fun. So, I should write some about recent happenings. Right? Right.

My dear parents bought a new Gamecube game today, by behest of my brother: SpongeBob SquarePants: CREATURE FROM THE KRUSTY KRAB.

I hate all the Here is the festering, maggot infested tag of Things I Hate SpongeBob games. I'm sorry. They're too easy, and too hard at the same time...too easy (and boring, BORING, BORING!!! OH NO, MAKE IT STOP!) for someone who's moderately experienced in gaming, and too hard for someone who's a COMPLETE MORON, like the FOOL who would buy such a TERRIBLE game as a SPONGEBOB game- the developers completely miss their target audience of IDIOTS. My brother loves them though. Along with Power Rangers Dino Thunder. I see a pattern I don't like here. I feel sicker than the Dad who, despite all his best efforts, still has to watch his son join the cheerleading squad.


Though...it might not help that today I was playing Metroid Prime, and I'm comparing them. Oh, that's also why I have nothing to do. My brother is using the Gamecube. Back to SpongeBob's unrealistic stupidity: the craziest puzzle in SpongeBob is "Why is there a rip in that wall? I know, walk into it." What a terrible, worthless excuse for a game. Pitiful. (If any developers are watching, I'm really sorry, but it's horrible!).


I began Prime halfway through on the Hard setting. I had gotten to the halfway point two months before. I was a bit disoriented, being halfway through the game...anyway...they have X-Rayed (as in sun ray, not as in rated, I'm not a pervert!) photos of Samus in her suit in the first game's picture gallery, and although I haven't unlocked all the pictures, I haven't yet seen one of her in a fetal position in the Morph Ball.



In other news, last night, I had to wake my mom up at 11:30 PM so she could let me out to go potty, but then I remembered...I'm not a dog. LJ is the dog.

So we watched a bit of TV, and it was tuned to TBN, showing a trailer/interview thing for the movie One Night with the King (which my mom desperately wants to see). It's the story of Esther. While watching the trailer, it occurred to me that Morgan Webb has never spoken truer words than these: "Yeah she's high."
You know...at the time Esther was going on about how she's the wind on the hill, or what not.

Boy, I'm bored. But it is my bedtime now-- the blog works! Goodnight.

Pop! Goes the Perfect Pop Corn.

I've never really liked popcorn. You could say that, faced with a choice between a bowl full of $100 bills, or a bowl full of popcorn, most of the time I would choose the $100 bills.


I remember when I was 4 or so, the only thing I could make was popcorn. Well, I think cheese crisps- popcorn came first, though. With the air popper- not the microwave. You know, cheese crisps aren't that bad...made with beans. Without beans, they're filth.


Some time ago, I saw an episode of Good Eats (on Food Network) about popcorn- Perfect Popcorn. Host Alton Brown did it differently than my tested and proved method...he popped 1/2 cup of kernels in 3 T of oil in a stainless steel bowl, with salt in it while it popped. I always topped it once it was done...he popped it in the bowl so the oil and kernels would pool at the bottom and more would pop.

I decided to try it. I made up some popcorn salt in the blender, got our stainless steel bowl out of the freezer (it had ice in it, frozen-water-ice,) put 2 T of melted Coconut oil in it along with a sprinkling of salt (around 1/3 t) and 1/3rd cup of kernels. I put aluminum foil over the top and made vent holes, then turned on the element and shook it until it was done.


It worked great. It burned on the bottom a bit. I had to discard 1/4 cup of popcorn (popped, not kernels). I didn't add any butter or oil, and boy, was this the best popcorn in EVERDOM. It made movie theater popcorn seem like filth (on second thought, it is filth!).

I made another batch to share with my parents later that day, and they loved it, too. I didn't let it burn...it's so wonderful, perfectly buttery (or uh, coconut oily) and salted, incomparable to the filth I used to make.

Try it. It's good. And it's past my bedtime. Goodnight.

New Look, Same Old Boring Posts!

You may have noticed a new layout, I kinda made it myself, editing the HTML code...what I mean by "kinda" is, well, I don't know if it counts as "made" at this point.

I worked on this layout for hours, just so you know. And just because I didn't post for four days doesn't mean I'm not slaving, because I was working on the layout for four posts worth of time. I know the layout doesn't look right. Sorry. I'll make a feeble attempt to see what's wrong. I will probably spend the next few days worth of posts working on it, then I'll start using the time to post. Now a quick update...

First, yesterday:

Our Cod Liver oil arrived, as well as our Virgin Coconut oil! And a bit before they were expected; we got them on Friday, and they were scheduled for Monday...you know, UPS doesn't deliver on weekends. You knew that, right? I learned that years ago. A bitterly learned fact.

I drank about two cups of the Cod Liver oil (it doesn't taste like fish), then took a spoon and the (1-gallon) tub of Coconut oil to my room and watched my favorite soap. Ah, good times. It ended up costing $220, but it'll last well into next year, about...August or September. We'll need more Coconut oil before March, though.



Above all the lessons I learned today, I learned that, if you're over 18 (or 21, I'm not sure of the exact age it happens) you can't talk about money without blowing a head gasket, and walking home. Especially during Tax Season (my mom's blog- she's better about posting). Which is coming up fast.



In the words of' the insane cackle of (if a cackle can count as words in this context) Bowser, Bwahahahahahaha!
Goodnight, and have a pleasant evening!

I seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

Edited and updated Saturday, June 16th, 2007



I have nightmares sometimes. In fact, I had one today. How I know they're nightmares is that they're based on our old house, which was the worst place I know of. It was a trailer park, and though we had the biggest yard in the entire park (8 times the size of most others), it was too small of a house. We lived there 6 years, I believe. The place had cockroaches about it (they overran the whole city!).

Obviously, my worst fear is that old trailer, because I have many nightmares about it. All sorts of things. It doesn't leave me horrified, like it would if I were 8, but it leaves me feeling sad. Like, I realize it wasn't just a nightmare, it actually happened. And I could go back.

This has only added to my sadness about finishing MP2.

Sometimes when I play a videogame (I imagine it's the same for others), I am a bit sad when it's over. Unless I'm playing a MMORPG, which is evil, so I don't do; or, it's a short/bad game.

But a game like MP, or Splinter Cell, or a Zelda game, etc., you not only have to worry about the game being over, but you also have to find another to play.

Prospects at the moment are Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/A Link to the Past, Perfect Dark, The World Is Not Enough, Super Mario World, Mario 64, Vigilante 8: Second Offense, or buy a new game. I won't be buying a new game, as Wii is coming out in a little over a month, and my parents coffers will be emptied enough as it is. They just don't know it yet.

Ocarina of Time is way too long. Then I have to set up another system...actually, they all require N64 or SNES. So I should find a Gamecube game. My options here are Enter the Matrix, Super Mario Sunshine, or Freedom Fighters. All the others sound boring, at the moment...Enter the Matrix should be played in a few months (february, or so), and SMS should be played around Easter. That leaves Freedom Fighters. That sounds boring.


You see, this decision is much easier when my brother's playing. Just plug in the N64, and off we go...TWINE, Perfect Dark, Vigilante 8: SO, SSB...he's just not really himself lately. He has some kind of 24-hour-a-day headache, which has lasted for 2+ months so far, and he's always in a bad mood. He probably has cancer of the brain.


I've made the accessment it's not my day. I'm going back to bed. At noon. Goodnight. See you at 3 PM.

Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

Edited and updated Saturday, June 16th, 2007
Edited and updated Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007




It's 10:30 PM. Do you know where your Metroid is?



I've been playing a game lately. In a few words, Here is the sickeningly sweet, butterfly-infested tag of Things I Love Metroid Prime 2: Echoes is that game.

It's top-notch. A lot of people like Metroid Prime more. I like Echoes more. I'm gonna play the latest version of the Metroid series each year on my birthday, because I believe it's good luck. I'm just a tad superstitious when it comes to werewolves, zombies and luck. Not really- I just like the tradition. However, I contain not the willpower to wait till October to play Metroid Prime 3, which should be coming out January or February. Nintendo Wii will come out November 19th, with a $250 price tag. Get saving, Mom and Dad! Ahaha!...seriously.


In short, I give Metroid Prime 2: Echoes a 9.8. If you hated Metroid Prime, there's no sense playing this game.

UPDATE (June 16th): Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is coming out August 20th, 2007. I am going to wait until my birthday to play it.



NOTE: The pictures, obviously, do not do the game justice. Next time I play Metroid Prime 2, I will take my own photos- lots of them. Most/all pictures courtesy of IGN. By 'courtesy' I mean "thanks, suckers!" (uhh, emphasis on the thanks.)

Metroid Prime (other Metroid titles as well), is a game about a Bounty Hunter. The Bounty Hunter has a name.
That name is Samus Aran, pronounced three different ways.
Sam-us, Sah-muss, and Sah-moose. Aran is Air-in, Ah-rahn, or Uh-ran, and even Nintendo can't seem to agree. Personally, I pronounce it Sahmus Ah-rahn. As of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, it is Sam-us Air-in.




Samus is my favorite video game character. Sam Fisher comes close, but come on, he doesn't have a powersuit (plus he's all-console). And, SamUS has a "US" up on his name. That COMMIE!

Although the Prime games have a low replay value (generally speaking), they're still some of my favorites, even if I usually wait a year-plus between plays. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a silent protagonist. Samus is pictured left (uhh, above-left), in the famous orange, red, and cannon colored power suit. Update: Damn, I forgot how awesome she is in 3D.
Yes, in this case "cannon" is a color. Look at the shoulder pads! I just love the Varia suit. It does make Samus' features look exaggerated, but personally, I can live with that. If it works for her, it works for me.


Samus, as a child, had a Mom and a Dad. Then the Space Pirates came, pictured at right (the space pirates actually vary in appearance), and conducted a raid on Samus' planet, K-L2. Samus' Dad flew a ship, and Samus just happened upon the enemy 'general' and said "Hi." Their general was/is a dragon. (You know who I'm talking about.)

He went to [harm] Samus, but Samus' mom jumped in front of the blow, then Samus' dad kamikaze'd his ship near them, causing him (the dragon) to have to retreat. Samus ran away, I suppose, and then the Chozo came.

The Chozo are a race of creatures who think they're psychic, and who are technologically advanced- they are anthropomorphic, and have very noticeable large beaks. They found Samus on the planet and decided to adopt. They proceeded to one of their stars. I believe it was the 'planet' Zebes (ZEH-bess); in MP1, they talk about living on stars, so Zebes was probably a star. What? I don't know! I haven't played the other games yet!

Edit: Now that I've played Zero Mission, Samus did grow up on Zebes (or used to call it "home"). Need to play the rest of the games.

Later, some Chozo abandoned their technological life amongst the stars, and adopted the planet Tallon IV, where they became "one" with nature, then died (see what happens when you bond with nature?). Actually, a poisonous, meteoric leviathan hit. This is the planet Samus discovers in MP1, where Samus' history was uncovered, familiarizing the current generation of gamers, who haven't played the other Metroid games, to the Metroid series. Me included! It's not a very good primer, but thanks!

Anyways, on Zebes, they infused Samus with Chozo blood (to survive the atmosphere, or something), making Samus superhuman. They then gave Samus a Chozo Powersuit (battle armor), specially fitted. You see, the Chozo...they...look-a-too-much-a-like-a bird. Samus look-a-like...uh, a human.

Samus left to join the army, put simply. But that didn't work out, so Bounty Hunter under Galactic Federation payroll it was! Uhh, then Samus heard about the Space Pirates killing all the Chozo on Planet Zebes, which kinda struck a nerve...

Samus had all this pent-up anger (like I said, I never played the older games, this is the story I've heard), probably because the Space Pirates kinda caused Mom and Dad's death, then killed all the Chozo on Zebes (her adoptive parents). Putting the powersuit to good use, Samus set out to hunt down and kill the Space Pirates. You see, the Space Pirates are trying to take over the Galaxy. Can't have that.


Have I mentioned that Samus can turn into a ball? Yeah. It's called the Morph Ball, pictured left, and with it you can explore conveniently-sized holes in walls and stuff (It's supposedly 3' diameter.) See, Samus can't grab hold of things like Link can (not in 3D at least), can't climb either, so the Morph Ball is the preferred method of traversing areas. Well, at least in which a conveniently-sized obstacle course is placed, leading to the next room. Or a useless-to-everyone-but-Samus spiderball track. *cough*



------
Also, Samus is a girl. In the first Metroid game, everyone thought she was a robot (the powersuit, you understand, plus the instructions purposely misled you about her gender) until they beat the game in under three hours (I think), which then shows her in a bikini (it's in 8-bit).

Now, there were a lot of 'girlphobic' people (young, confused boys) who simply refused to believe that a girl could blow up an entire planet, and kill a dragon 3 times, and still to this day think she's a cross-dressing robot.
They're called idiots.



Metroid is one of the only franchises that has a respectable female protaganist. The only other one I know of (certainly, there are more) is Perfect Dark, although I'm not sure about Perfect Dark Zero- I'll have to get a 360 to see about that. I have heard that in the remakes of the old NES/Gameboy titles, they play up the fact that she is, indeed, a girl. I hope they don't do it too much. UPDATE: I played Metroid: Zero Mission and the only way they played up her being a girl was in her death sequence (Zero Suit), one sequence at the end (Zero Suit), and an ending picture which doesn't really count. But can any of that really be considered "playing up"?


I was shocked when I saw Metroid Prime 3: Corruption's cover art (pictured at right). Then I realized something (other than she looks the same in MP2 as MP3): everything was exaggerated to fit her shoulder pads. She looks a bit imbalanced in MP1. Still, it seems almost like she couldn't possibly fit into the suit, but somehow she manages...man, really, she goes from 100 to 50 to 100. That's like, 20 under, I think.

In-suit she looks better in MP2 than in MP1, but in MP1 her face looked tons better. In MP2 she looks very 'cartoony'...
You see, in MP1 she looked, ah, what's the word...well, her face looked so real, without being real, that she was at the "zombie" stage- where developers make things so realistic that your mind interprets them as human, not cartoon, thus they look eerie as they don't look human enough, and your mind is judging upon human standards. It's really interesting. It was one of the better facial renderings I've seen, but I definitely like her look better in MP2.

Strangely enough, another argument (I think more: rumor) was that Retro made her breasts bigger, but I just don't see it. We should all be grateful she isn't Lara Croft 2.0.

I have to admit, I am at a loss as to why she needs those visors on her chest. I mean, they look cool, and all...

Actually, that's a little creepy. Just a little. I mean,... Hey! It was originally designed for Chozo- maybe they need visors on their chest? Yeah that's it! Nothing creepy about that. Nothing at all!!!
---------


The graphics are beautiful, and the gameplay is fantastic (especially the controls- they own). You have unlimited ammunition in the power cannon, which is cool because you needn't worry about being weaponless; once your other systems are out (if ever) you can still fight effectively with it. The game gives you all the tools you need to ensure you're never outgunned and/or murdered. Radar, Morph Ball as an escape method, jumping, tracking system, etc. The weapons may get boring after a while, but that's up to you.

Edit: I'm not saying it's "easy, and that's what's good! LOL!", I am saying that you are given weapons to fight intelligently. That is huge in Metroid games for me: Spending time to collect upgrades, and thus empower yourself, and thus gain more control over combat situations. When I played Metroid: Zero Mission on Hard, and found that the missiles and energy were halved (instead of 100 each tank, 50 each tank), I was devastated. That so totally leaves from Metroid for me, it was just...well, devastating. I could not play past 15 minutes it was so bad- not hard, bad.


One of the greatest parts, without a doubt, is the Scan Visor. You scan things, hack things, it gives you info on enemies and bosses, unlocks doors (hacks the system), and you get to read about what the Space Pirates/other intelligent beings are doing. I just love it. Plus, you get a scan percentage- this percentage unlocks the photo gallery, you know, like 15% opens gallery #1, etc. Some people will find this need to scan boring. But like I said, you intelligently fight- and that's what I like.


Note: The rest of this contains minor spoilers, up to an hour or so in the game. It's mostly just the story, shouldn't be anything horrifyingly revealing.


The game starts out with a distress call from some Marines. It seems to me that Marines never, ever bring enough ammunition. Examples: Doom, Resident Evil, Metroid Prime 2, Ammo Lost, and Wasted Shells: The Animated Drama. A Marine using ammo is pictured at right. Samus heads to the planet, called Aether, by behest of the Galactic Federation. Samus is their #1 "Hunter." Darn right she is.


Upon reaching the planet, your ship crashes, of course. The first scratch! Darn! Anyway, you're off to explore. The first thing you shoot (other than the wall, on a whim) is a... some type of webbing.

A bit further, and down a good bit, it leads to the Marines' makeshift base; they kinda struggled before dying, it seems. There are about 29 of them total, spread all over. Like peanut butter. They were waging a war on the local residents, creatures which are basically a mix between spiders and ants; they have no queen, and somehow spin 'webbing'-like stuff, living in a colony. Eat things, of course. They're called Splinters, if I recall correctly. Which I do.

You solve a few puzzles, then the dead Marines get possessed (parasitic possession, not demonic) by something, splattered with purple, and turned into Zombies! Oh my gosh! I don't know which of the three is worse!
Naturally, you start shooting them, because you enjoy having a brain.

...

The rest is edited out for the sake of not spoiling the game. I would have read a spoiler review on Halo three years ago, and now I'm considering getting an Xbox. Xbox gets a lot of the 3rd party support, and Ninty has its fabulous, mouth-watering, succulent, tasty first-party games, plus a lot of 3rd-party support- and the awesome controller which no other controller can compete with. So you get the best of both without supporting Sony.

Actually, I really have nothing against Sony. My camcorder is Sony. I just don't like them- not hatred, I just wouldn't buy their system; maybe a PS2. Their PS3 is an awesome machine capable of stunning things, just not for me.

In ending, I really like Metroid Prime 2.

Birthday #16, 2005 Recap

Since I did not have a blog for my 16th.



Now, last years birthday was the best birthday of my life. And that's quite, ah...something. Seeing's how, as you know, small children get a much higher level of enjoyment out of birthdays than the mature, steel tough, emotionless beings known as mid-teenagers. It just 'felt' like a birthday.

The last time I had a birthday even close to as great as my 16th, I was around 5. My Mom got me some kind of truck that built stuff (what?). My Mom had a treasure hunt set up, with pictures strewn throughout the house, each one hinting to the location of the next one, and finally to the present. She was a good Mom despite her youth. It was awesome. I'll say it again. Awesome. ONCE MORE, NOW IT IS AUGUST 23RD, AWE-SOME. SOME AWE, SOME SOME, AWE, AND TONS MORE OF AWE, AWESOME. It could be as simple as a list of hints to where the hunt begins; where you frequent when you've had too much lemonade, where the CD player dwells, where the onions lurk, where the garlic rests, where the soda is stored, where the books await, where the canned beans exist, far above the toaster oven and below the cupboard, behind the teller of time, in the grinder of meats. The older and wiser the child, the more abstract could be the hints.

The better presents could be outside. They could be like, where the eggs lie, where the hay stacks, where the truck jack sits, where the food chars, where the mail arrives.

All of these clues would lead to pictures of where the present is, actually. Depending upon the number of presents, there could be multiple pictures. So, Where the Onions Lurk is our lower drawer. In there would be a picture of the Milk Fridge. In there would be a picture of my parents' mirror. Taped on that would be a picture of the inside of my brother's door. On that there would be a picture of the dart board on the shed.

Behind the board would be a picture of the water tank, forcing me to backtrack. Ah, yes. Then a picture of the milking stand. I was so close! Under the stand, would be my present. So, the lesser presents should only get one or two pictures, while the better presents should get all the more pictures, and steps. Backtracking would lengthen the process and make it more fun.

On the backs of the pictures the present you are on the trail of would need to be numbered, as even the hider would forget eventually. That would make for the coolest birthdays, but I don't know how maintainable it would be. So, do it on an 8th or 10th birthday. Me? I always am up for scavenger hunts in this fashion. ALL WAYS.

Why was my 16th the best birthday of my life? Four things.

1. One, I was sick. This has been one of my biggest, greatest birthday wishes since I was twelve. Weeks old. In the womb. Mildly sick. Just enough so if I tried to do something, I'd get light-headed and my stomach would hurt. If only I could have a birthday in the freezing cold. But my birthday is a few months early for that.
   
2. Two, I got to play Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. I got the Screw Attack that day- if memory serves, I rounded off the evening getting it. Oh, glory. I took it to whatever was alive at that point and made it my handmaiden (i.e. I owned it). And SHREDDED IT TO DUST ALONG THE WAY!
   
3. Three, my parents were gone all day. So I didn't have to entertain them- that took away a great deal of stress. No cake baking, no food making. Everything was quiet with no distractions.
   
4. Four, the house was pretty clean. Gilroy Glory.
   

Looking back, the high point of the day for me was playing before anyone got home. Like I said, at that point, I had to entertain them. "Oh, how'd your day go. Oh, that's terrific. Oh, really. Wow, that's terrible. Oh. Wow. No way. Great. Fantastic. I find that just exhilarating."

That was when the day stopped being so awesome, but then the presents came, so it evened out. My Granny was also there for the festivities. We laughed so hard watching this one video me and my dad made, I think she was crying.

The only thing more I could ask for, is for it to be storming on my birthday. I remember when my parents brought home those lambs, and it was storming, and me and my brother were playing Perfect Dark. I miss those days. Oh, but look at me, carrying on like a school girl!

Birthday #17, 2006!

Post split into Birthday #16, 2005 Recap and (this post, Birthday #17, 2006!)


Well, yeah- it was my birthday 10 whole days ago, but for the moment pretend you don't realize the date. 53 degrees. I am outside with a blanket. What a sissy!

I came to the sober realization that this year's birthday will never be as good as last years, and it turns out I was right. This year my brother wanted to play Here is the sickeningly sweet, butterfly infested tag of Things I Love Metroid Prime 2 along with me. Good for him. Terrid for me. Oh, how it sucked the life out of my gaming experience!

I can't stand when Samus dies. It is the height of idiocy. My brother...constantly...DIES! How it wrenches my heart, as if it were in a vice. Crushing.

I did make some memories- such as learning the 'Kip Dash' (jump off the edge 1500 times until you appear on the other end or something?). But not many aside from that. It also occurs to me that once you turn 17, it's socks and uncomfortable trucker hats. Just imagine what the future holds! Uncomfortable socks, too?!


Most of my presents were eaten up by the bike I got. It's a good bike though. Aside from that, I...

Bought for myself:

2x thin material ski masks
2 pairs of bicycle gloves and a pair of finger warming gloves
A bike helmet ("Louis Garneau Rev")
A windshield (also from Louis Garneau; it doesn't work well)
A can of Halt! and a holder (in case any of my earthly relations step out of line)
A multitool
C02 tire inflation kit with 4 tubes of C02
Frame, seatpost, and handlebar bags
A Bike Rack (cargo), which works great, plus bungees and a cargo net which is neat
Rear and Front bike lights (uh-oh! Walmart Special! Doom!)
A Speedometer (Walmart special alert! Alert!)


Other items (actual gifts):

DMT's Aligner Knife Sharpening Kit (which works great! Thanks, Granny!)
A game of Boggle! To Go, which me and my mom like to play together (my Dad wouldn't know a game if it was a very problematic get-rich-quick scheme)
An X-Men trilogy of DVDs (X-Men: The Last Stand)
Badmoon (werewolf movie) -- Destroyed a few months ago for the offense of containing pornography. August 23rd 2007.
Blood Moon by Hal Lindsey, but I still don't know what it's about. It's a novel, I imagine.
Caedmon's Call's album, 40 Acres (It's music! What a surprise! And it's very moody.)

And that's all I can remember, at the moment. I also got cards! With money in them! And empty words! Woohoo! I mean, uh...I loved every card?

The Knife Sharpener was courtesy of my dearest Granny (again, thanks!), and I think my mommy made carrot cake. Good carrot cake.

We had Here is the sickeningly sweet, butterfly infested tag of Things I Love Rotini and Asparagus Primivara. That's, well, wow. It's my favorite food. [Update 08/11/08: not my favorite food anymore.] Rotini and Asparagus Primivara is the recipe title, I think. The recipe is from the Better Homes and Garden's cookbook my Aunt got me last year. Thanks!

Also, with less praise heaped on them, we had Enchiladas. My mom bakes (to wit, makes) the best enchiladas. We had the pasta with Thyme though, and we (who am I kidding, I) prefer Terragon. It was still good. I drank 2 cans from my secret stash of Ginger Ale. 12 cans has lasted me 2 months, and there's still 6+ left. There's a few Enchiladas left over in the fridge for my mom.


She forgot about them. For my Dad's birthday, which was September 25th, he got him a Welder (WALMART SPECIAL!!! OH NO! INSTANT DEATH! FATALITY!) which is broken. Well, I assume so, at least. It's from Walmart, after all.

[end]

Goat stomping: For when Goats go Bad

Our weather in Southern Arizona is beautiful right now. It fills me with inspiration, but did I mention I'm a little sick? Yeah, not too bad though. My Momma has it bad. She just loves bragging. "Oh, I'm miserable! I wish I were dead! It's hot in here! I can't breath! I'll contaminate the milk in the morning! I can't stop sneezing! I can't sleep! It's cold in here! I'm dying!"


Some people have all the luck. It's nice and cool out this evening- even with the sun shining- a brisk 74 degrees. Brisk.
Though the sun is in my eyes a bit, it's still great. I don't know what I will be making as a vegetable tonight. We're having pot roast with baked potatoes and "pot roasted" onions. We're out of garlic. That's a real shame, right?



To be blunt, I've stomped my share of goat flesh in my time. A "share" isn't much. But I've never lost a fight, unless I was ordered to surrender by my parents. That rarely happens in the middle of a fight, it's more of a "just don't go in there." thing. You understand.

Today I got in a fight with a goat.
Goats have a queen - no king - just an "alpha" female. Usually the oldest, sometimes not. They "play fight" to find out who's ranked over who. Dallas is our herd queen. Lightning (her daughter) is trying to be herd queen, but she's still a bit off. Dallas is...a horrible herd queen.

Did you know, goats go through different levels of idiocy- when they're born, they're smarter than when they're fully grown. Weird, huh? Additionally, once they go through pregnancy, they lose any semblence of that little baby goat you fell in love with (I never fell in love with a goat). In short, they turn into jerks- it's really quite strange.


Dallas sometimes is a real jerk- attacking my mom (and me, for that matter) when one of us goes into the goat pen. For about a year ('03) my parents accused me of Goat H8 (hate, H8, Heh-eight, get it? H8 = hate) and Goat Abuse. Until my mom and dad started getting attacked by the thankless dweeb. Then they understood why I disliked her so much. My mom was so devastated the first time Dallas attacked her she ran inside, jumped into her bed and "cried and cried."

The only way to snap her out of it is to show her that humans are better than her, and there's no way at all to fight back. We accomplish this by knocking the goat on their side and holding them on their back for about 10 minutes; this shows them any time they wanna brawl, there's gonna be hell to pay for them. We're at this stage right now, and she kicked my mom yesterday (big ole' bruise). But my mom had mercy on her.

There's one thing I've learned from playing Red Alert. In fact, it's on the back of the box. "Surrender is not an option."

So I went to separate the baby goats, innocently- you have to do that, because the babies nurse in the daytime, and you separate them so at night the mother produces milk for you to drink. Cocoa (a goat) is currently the only goat who's "on the teat," and she's a little frightened of people. I stepped into the pen to get her, and Dallas starts right away with her contentious 'defense' of 'her turf.'

I fight her by pushing on her head until her legs collapse/she moves away. It shows I'm stronger than her. I pushed her back about thirty feet, then she ran back twenty feet (to her preferred battleground?) and reared up on me- which consists of standing on her back legs and attempting to headbutt me. I've never, ever seen them do this successfully, even to each other. They're naturally inaccurate, I guess. But this elevates the fight, and that's my queue to lay the smackdown on her.

I got on her left side, and grabbed her front-left and back-left legs with my right and left hands, respectively. If I lost you, I'm currently on my stomach, with my arms crossed (I grabbed the legs with the wrong arms), trying to keep her from breaking free of my grasp. Once she stopped struggling, I moved my front-left leg hand to the front-right leg. Then once she stopped struggling there I straightened my arms out real fast. If I lost you again, I'm currently on my knees on her left side holding her front-right and rear-right legs with my left and right hands, respectively.

Then, the only step left... I pushed her gently until she careened onto her side. She tried to flip over, but I grabbed her leg and rolled her onto her back. I kept her there for about 7 minutes, whilst she scraped her eye against the ground (a goats natural defense!).


Once I let her up, she...well, you ever seen the second Matrix movie, where Neo flies away during the fight with the Smiths, and they kinda look around like "dang?" Well, that's what she did. Then I had to get past her to get out, and she just moved out of my way without a violent thought. This should last until tomorrow, and I'll have to stomp her again, and after that, there's a 50% chance I'll have to do it again. If it persists, we'll have to shoot her. I am...not joking.



"Be careful Steven, don't run, you're gonna slip on the water, Steven"
"Heheh hehhe! Bang bang! Bang bang!"
"(Bang bang!)"
"Yeah you didn't do it right."



"...Hey Johnny...Jooohnny... it's the ventilation monster comin' to get you...I'm gonna eat your brains...I'm gonna come out and get you...I'm hiding in here...Hehehehehehe!"

X-Men: The Last Stand

I typically look at movie reviews before I say something bad about a movie, just to make sure I wasn't just being a jerk. They always echo my thoughts. Usually. Sometimes. I'm more cynical, I think, because I hate Hollywood on top of hating their movies. Hate is too strong a word. Dislike.


They killed a few major characters, and, well, the movie really, really sucked. I don't see how even the brightest (that is, in the ditsy sense), most naive and quixotic young intern assisting in the development of the film could have expected it to be any other than a worthless, atrocious bust. Sigh. Maybe I just don't like movies. But this, this was supposed to be a smash hit. It was horrible.

Come to think of it, I liked alot of the scenes, but the movie needed to be about 4 hours long, instead of the measly 1.5... a lot of the scenes seemed unfinished. That's a bad thing. I think about a scene I liked, then there's nothing more because the entire 5 minute scene has two (irrelevant) things happen.


And on top of that, they managed to kill my respect for nearly every character...I don't think there's one character who they didn't ruin. What losers. Hollywood has an agenda to SUCK.


You see, I really expected 200 mutants on the good side against 200 on the bad side, with 400 different powers; not 100 being frogs, and 94 being punchers. Which is what happened in this movie- oh my, oh my, how were they so stupid? I wanted a really awesome fight of hundreds of mutants, lasting for like 20 minutes- carnage, little chatter. But no.

I give the movie a 3 out of 10 with an extremely low "replay" value.

Judging on the "what it could have been" scale, this movie gets a 0.5. Sorries.