Kev Tries His Hand At Bossing: Can He Do It?

I recently acquired an employee. It went like this:


Kev:
Hi, I know you has skills, can you please put those skills to use for me, and I will pay you for your skills, thank you.
Kev's Future Employee:
Wow, Kev, I'm interested.
Kev:
Let me know a price.
Kev's Future Employee:
Gee let me call around to all of my pals and found out, I mean find.

(a few hours later)

Kev's Future Employee:
Hey Kev I accept here's my fee
Kev:
Wow that'll do I assept

And the rest is history.


Wait, no, there's more to say. Sorry. The rest isn't history, yet. So, she did fine with her first assignment. It was really tough, too. Second toughest thing I know of that I could have given her to do. I won't ask her to do the toughest assignment. That's just too torturous.

Then I gave her the second assignment. And I'm certain she's doing fine with that. Here's my problem: when I work, there's nothing I appreciate more than being left alone to do my job. It does two things: 1), it reassures me that my boss trusts me, and drives me to do good to reward their trust. (It also develops my work ethic, but that's a special case because I'm so young.) 2), it keeps my boss from trying to do my job from their perspective of not having the skills to do my job, and ending up shooting themselves in the foot. My boss can actually do my job, though, so that would be OK in my current case.

There's my problem. I know she has the skills, and she's produced very good results before, and I know how much higher my work performance is when I'm trusted and left alone, but I still get that urge to try to baby her. I must resist that urge.


As Theodore Roosevelt would say, the best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

(At least, according to my The Weirdo Down The Street Manual that quote is from ol' Ted.)

That Second Dead Nikon Coolpix S10 Again (Again)

There I was, running through the hall to shut off the emergency alarm.

I hear a clack, clatter, clack. "Oh, dear," I think as I key in the code.


Good news: The alarm didn't go off. Remember the alarm from The Second Horrible Day?

Bad news: the clackery clatter was my Nikon S10. My second Nikon S10.

My first Nikson S10 died back in August-September after being dropped on the lens housing. I had that one for a good time. I took more than 10,000 pictures with it. It went to 9,999 and rolled to 0. Then it got dropped- like it had been about 5 times before- on a Walmart floor. But this time...lens error.

My mom bought me a new one, probably because she owed me. It was a complete surprise. She [called and] asked me if I could bring the box in because "the vitamins might be damaged by the sun." Then she expected me to open it, but I said, "Come on, why would I open it? That's stupid, I don't have time for this."

It drove her nuts because, usually, I open any package regardless of if it's mine or not. (They HATE this about me at work, by the by.) I had an idea of what it might be ("bring it in"?), but I didn't fully know until I opened it. I still "told her I hadn't opened it." You see, "I didn't have time to open it [a second time]." I opened it from the bottom so she couldn't tell I had opened it. Then she said, "Hey, look!" and I said, "What, it's another Nikon Coolpix S10?" Man, it was great. And I used the word 'open' a lot in this paragraph.


Wonderful memories about taking any joy out of my mom's buying me a gift aside, this second Nikon Coolpix S10 lasted until a few weeks ago. Then the whole alarm and Lens error thing.

Having lost two cameras to this obvious lens error weakness, I'm still going to buy another one. Am I mad? Am I stupid? Do I have a brain lens error?

No, I'm just hopelessly attached to the swivel-head design. Nothing else comes close. If you want to know what it's like...just think of your camcorder. Those- even the 5-year-old Hi8's- have swivel-LCDs. However, all the valuable buttons are easily accessed; with a camcorder, your hand breaks off if you try to swivel it too far. Because with a camcorder, the whole system moves. Along with the buttons.

With the Nikon S10, your hand stays comfortably not broken off, and you can adjust any setting you want except for Vibration Reduction and the amazingly useless "Face Focus" mode. It's a great camera. My camera holster? Not so great a camera holster. Next time, better camera holster.

The S10 is big compared to compact cameras, but the battery life is good. Somehow. And the 10x optical zoom is neat, though at 10x the quality is a little low. The coolest thing is the proximity of the flash and focus to the lens; it allows for very close closeups. Even closeups of mouths. I feel very restricted using any other camera (their closeups lose), and I've known for a while that the only camera that can shake me from my love of swivel-headed cameras will be a DSLR. Even then, I'll still have an S10 (or more recent) because, well, DSLRs suck.


Problem is...the S10's now sell for $400. That's a lot more than their original worth. Why? They addict people to them. That's why. I'm proof.

Then they don't make new models for years, and they stop producing them. So now I have to look into getting it repaired. Goodbye.

Checking an HP dv4-1220us Entertainment Notebook

Yep, heres(sic) I am. Checking the notebook. I am making a lot of typos; that's OK.

The touchpad speed is a little slow. I fixed it.

Now let's see how the speakers are. OK, they're nice. Or maybe the song is nice. The Adia song. Love it, love it, sugar on top.

For the record, it's probably not the Adia song you'd find by searching an engine...the screen is almost blindingly bright (compared to the brightness of my 2007 HP dv5215us). That's good. Right shift placement is fine; directional pad is not too great. Actually, the End key is way too close to it.

Let's see how...oh, great!

If there's one thing I dislike, it's the DirectX errors!

...20 minutes later, I am still trying to remedy...not a DX error...

Downloading 113 MB video driver...

Driver failed...downloading secondary source video driver...testing...secondary driver failed...

Trying restart...

\



...back on my laptop. Here's my review of that particular dv4-1220us: IT SUCKS!


As for all dv4-1220us's, I can't really comment. Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars did not work and I will not invest the hours required to allay the problem. I'm seething!!! I can't take it!!!

For all I know, the laptop- which is my mom's work laptop- has a kind of governor which disallows video gaming. That's just dandirific.

I'm going to listen to that Adia song some more.

Not really.

Frustration: Sins of a Solar Empire

Here's something I'm ashamed to admit. It makes me feel like an absolute wretch.

It's actually hard to say. It says something about me that I certainly don't want to be said. And I don't want to see it, in written form, in front of me. It's much easier to ignore it...but some things have to be said. For the sake of posterity.

I can't play Sins of a Solar Empire.

...


I feel so humiliated.



Yep. And I really, really like Sins of a Solar Empire. Breaks my heart that I can't play it. As far as I can tell it is not a hardware-derived issue; it freezes the heck out of my laptop during the later stages of games, yes, but at that point, the computer is so far ahead of me that even if I wasn't freezing I would still lose miserably.

Kev sad.

Kev humiliated.

Kev go back to cave and start fire, keep warm, hit woolly mammoth over head with club tomorrow. Then Kev invite over man-friends, and Kev start town call Kevtopia. Then Kev and man-friends go hit two woolly mammoth over head and start butcher shop to buy mammoth brains from when Kev sick and no feel like hitting woolly mammoths over head. Kev pay for mammoth brains on Wednesday if Kev can have mammoth brains on Tuesday. Kev need till Wednesday to invent currency.

Gee Golly Wow, But You're A Beautiful Hymn

When We All Get to Heaven.

I think that it is my favorite.

Cyberhymnal.com: When We All Get to Heaven. Key of C Major. A Minor.


It's a winner. Got to go. Bye.

No Defense for Jill Valentine and Splinter Cell brings the Wii360

As you know, humble fool, I'm a gamer. A Nintendo gamer. I must be honest, I've only played a PlayStation once (it was purchased and returned in a temerarious haze, leaving me scarred for life, but that's a story for another time) and I've never even seen an Xbox in person. Yet I've always maintained that I would get an Xbox over a PlayStation.


The other day, my dad was berating a woman with the last name of "Valentine." I said, "Now, listen, Pa, there ain't nothing bad you can say about someone with the last name of Valentine." He said, "Why not?! She's the ANTICHRIST!" His words hung in the air.

"Yes, but, Jill Valentine has that name, and, well, I doubt that the Antichrist would share Ms. Valentine's name..."
"Who?"
"Jill Valentine!"
"Who the hell is she?!"
"I don't know, let me put it this way. If I was less of a craven fool, she'd turn me into a drooling fanboy without a backbone, and I'd melt into a puddle and stick in the carpet."
"Oh whatever!" he said. "She's still the Antichrist!"


The same conversation has occurred thrice since then- each time the commercial is on.


Jill Valentine is a character in the Resident Evil series of movies and games. That's almost all I know. The other bit of what I know is enough to know that she's awesome on a lot of levels, and worthy of deference and, importantly, defense.


However, now that the Age of Idols has fallen, there's not much purpose in that defense. With the passing of the Age of Idols comes the passing of gamer "buoys." I am adrift in the middle of a sea of fireroads, to quote a dove.

I'm sorry, Jill. I'm sorry that I've never had the spine to come to the knowledge of what wonder you may possess. I'm sorry that I possibly never will. I'm sorry that I've let you and, indeed, the entire franchise slip through the crack in my gamer skull. I've done this wretched thing with full awareness and knowledge. I'm sorry that what indentation on the hard disk of my brain you may have made has been baseless or, if possible, worse, skewed by the lowest wretches of humanity, Hollywood.

In that vein, I am unrepenting that I destroyed that DVD.



Now, humble fool, I am sorry toward you that I will not be able to get to the second part of the title of this post. That will be revealed in due time through a cunning process. It should be entertaining.

With the passing of the Age of Idols, every action, lacking a purpose- unguided by buoys, if you will- has to be based upon some strange system I've yet to fully grasp. The main problematic element being that there is no longer a moral compass.

There's no line I cannot cross.


If I may:

Judges 17:6 KJV In those days there was no king in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own eyes.

Words I am fond of #1: En Garde

You know how much I love words. I'm like...weird......




Anyway, I guess "en garde" isn't a word. It's more like a phrase (or a set phrase?). But it is a word meaning. Kind of. It's Frenchoslovakian, and it means "put up your dukes."

...


OK, fine. It means "on guard" which means to a fencer to "assume your fencing position and/or mindset." This word has been with me a long, long time- I was using this baby back when I spelled which "whitch." To my credit, I have never been to the grammatical low of using 'u' instead of 'you' because "it's easier than spelling out you."


If you're a 'u'-er, I suggest you start spelling the word out to its entirety. It leaves a much better impression. Really, it does. (Or rather, it doesn't leave a horrible impression. This is called tough love, my dear 'u'-ing humble fool.)

1 PM. Glenn Beck hates on California.

I think that the biggest reason I listen to Glenn Beck is his hatred of California. There are many things that a person can do to alienate the audience that is Kev, but there are a few things that can garner favor or earn forgiveness. And some rare things that can garner favor and earn forgiveness in one fell swoop. If you hadn't guessed, one of those things is hating on California.


Quoth the email:

Beck: California can 'go to hell'

While Congress is patting itself on the back for acting quickly to solve the financial crisis -- there is still a financial crisis. Glenn does everything he can to keep his head from exploding because California is now asking for a bailout. Gee California, why should the taxpayers bail you out -- you chose all of those crappy liberal ideas in the first place!

Ahh...that's a "Happy Birthday Kev" if I've ever heard one.

Drat: Another Dream Crushed

You know I love Italian ice, right? It's wondrous. There are only a few things in this world I love more than Italian ice, amongst them the KJV, the Aran paladin, guitars, video games...and a few more things, then Italian ice is right there at like, #33.

Italian ice is everything I love about slushees without all the stuff I hate about slushees, such as...

• Oversweetness
• Ability to melt into a puddle of syrup faster than a speeding bullet (syrup does not freeze, so what do you expect when you try to make it into a frozen product?)
  
• Inconsistency of the product
  
• Lack of decent flavors. (It's funny; for the widespread popularity of slushees, you'd think they would develop flavors that tasted good, but I guess that isn't their priority- their priority must be annoying me.)

...uh, well, second thought, I guess Italian ice is more like everything slushees should be in theory but aren't. So they really have nothing in common except that they're both cold. But yeah, Italian ice. It's wonderful. Yet for some reason- maybe it's just the world's policy of hating on me- it's not very popular, and thus hard to find. Luckily I've found a supplier.

But I've been thinking...why can't I make and supply this stuff? There's obviously a market, but there's a lack of someone really standing out as the Dreyers or Blue Bunny or eerily similar to Dreyers Breyers (or is it the other way around)...so I was defrosting the freezer today...


And WOOHOO! My Italian Ice business is off to a grand start. I'll call it, "Kevlevleo's Choice" and the flavors will be Actually Tastes Like Lemon Lemon, Wow This Doesn't Taste Horrendously Bad Cherry, and Ooh Who Knew Blue Raspberry Didn't Taste Horrible Blue Raspberry. Then I'll release What The Hell This Isn't Terrible Watermelon. I'll be rich and famous...except...

Well...

Index finger:


Middle Finger next to index finger:


And I also jabbed my Big Toe on Right Foot. It was all bloody, too. So, like, when I injure myself three times in one day such as the above, I get a little careful. And ...when I have ice in the freezer and I cut a the my (sic) finger, I put the finger in the ice to stop the bleeding. And this is what happens.


So ends Kevlevleo's Italian Ice. It goes down in a swirling, health inspector-fueled blaze reminiscent of glory. Fare thee well, What The Hell This Isn't Terrible Watermelon. I miss you forever.


(The dream that was crushed was my Kevlevleo's Italian Ice dream. In case I didn't make that clear.)

I Really Don't Want To

Job 16:2 KJV I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all.
\
Eph 4:17 KJV This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,

Rom 7:18 KJV For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

Rom 7:23 KJV But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom 6:16 KJV Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?

Col 2:18 KJV Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,


Job 16:2 KJV I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all.



I Really Don't Want To...but my three miserable friends say, "Do it."

The Moon IS Made of Cheese

I always heard that moronic nursery rhyme or whatever it was or wherever that thinking came from, and I always thought it was stupid. But awhile back, you wouldn't believe my surprise as I saw the huge ball of cheese hanging low in the sky.




I didn't even use a tripod. Did I ever mention that I love my camera?

It's dandy.

Sparkling Water, My Sweet

My parents- especially my dad, as he doesn't drink the stuff- have a hard time understanding this logic: When we run out of sparkling water, and the stores are out, and we have none, we have none, and we cannot buy any.

It's basic logic. But if, when the stores run out of sparkling water, we have a stockpile, we can survive the drought. That is also basic logic. The common argument is, "What?! But we already have two packs of them! Why on earth do we need five more?" to which I respond, "Listen. We need to have extra for the drought that's upcoming, remember?"


On that note, I am unsure why, but sparkling water is sometimes hard to find- thus the "drought." It's as if they only ship a few to the stores, and sometimes other shoppers get the few that were shipped before you do. A few packs of sparkling water would make a great birthday present, hint hint. (Actually, really, I just need money this year. I'm a man.)


Then it happened. A drought. The store that sells it was out of stock for weeks. I thought I would go crazy. At the risk of offending one of you, I thought I would go cra...wait, I already said that. And it really isn't that offensive, sorry.


Regardless, we were out for weeks. I don't drink much normal soda; I find it too weird for everyday consumption, so I drink sparkling water instead. Without its sparkly goodness, I took to writing "No sparkling water and no place to buy sparkling water makes Kev a-go-crazy" on the walls with chalk. That's a hard sentence to write, however, so I didn't write it much. It made my hand cramp. Actually, the plural "walls" is exaggerating a bit.


Now the drought is over, so I am taking action to ensure that we don't run out again. Behold, heaven came down and glory filled our kitchen!:

Yes! Yes! Muahahayes!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some, uh... business, to attend to. knird, k-nird!



[You get the joke, right? Like, "redrum"?]

My Thoughts on a Metroid Movie

You know how much of a fan I am of Metroid. I mean...it's sad. Worse, I'm not your typical, hang-pictures, write-hundreds-of-fan-letters, spend-my-life-savings-going-to-their-concert, leave-messages-on-the-mirror-with-lipstick variety.

I'm your um...different variety. I am unsure what I am. I think I'm a fan of my particular personality...and you try nailing down my personality. I know I'm quirky, and I don't dress for success at all. And that's about all I know as far as my personality goes.


Anyways, the subject at hand. A Metroid movie. As a fan, I should be happy for this. My favorite character brought to the big screen...


But let me tell you what Metroid is not about.

1. Adultery.
2. Fornication.
3. Uncleanness.
4. Lasciviousness.
5. Idolatry.
6. Witchcraft.
7. Hatred.
8. Variance.
9. Emulations.
10. Wrath.
11. Strife.
12. Seditions.
13. Heresies.
14. Envyings.
15. Murders.
16. Drunkenness.
17. Revellings.
18. And such like.

Therefore, Metroid- and Samus Aran- should come NOWHERE NEAR HOLLYWOOD. That is the basest, most ...I swear, I...



Well. Hollywood is not something I want anywhere near Metroid. They would ruin it, and that is guaranteed. I can not think of any words, sentences or phrases that are scathing enough.

Let's just say that in my opinion, the ancient name of Hollywood may well have been Alexandria. Let me just let that sink in.






Actually... I believe that makes my point quite nicely.

Clad in Corruption: A Metroid Prime Post

LATE-NEAR-TO-END-GAME SPOILERS. BEWARE!


Yes. Long I ventured into the depths of the Phazon Mines, assailed by every foul machination the fierce Space Pirates could deploy against me. Swiftly the pitiful guard they had stationed at the industrial yard entrance were destroyed in red blazes.

Then their shamefully weak Shadow Pirates made a daring attack, but cloaked as they were, they were disintegrated with the Plasma Beam. The last thing they saw, probably, was nothing. The last thing they thought, I would say, is "What a useless end I meet." Several Wave and Ice Pirates attempt an attack, and though the Wave Pirates make exceptional use of strafing, they are all cut down. The Plasma beam's Flamethrower missile upgrade is acquired.


The Elite Research station was left unguarded save by four aptly named Mega Turrets; which were soon "decommissioned." The large room, three levels totaling probably around six stories, houses a dreary enemy; the Phazon Elite, yet he is not a guard, as he is encased and in hibernation, as it were, in some form of storage. A power bomb cut through the bendezium and roughly awoke his slumber.

Another bomb laid near his stumbling feet. He looks like a mutated compilation of four or five huge, Phazon-blue burnt marshmallows stuck together, misshapen and horribly potted, near 12 feet tall, and his Scans show lack of the typical Elite Pirate cannon; he makes extensive use of the Wave Generator. Soon through continual Plasma bursts he is destroyed, and at his last he violently collapses; he fought till the end. Further, it turns out that he was a guard, though not of the room; in his wake the Artifact of Warrior appears.


Up the room. Continuing...continuing...making use of the Ice beam, five Metroids were exterminated...soon, Space Pirates are spotted. Wave Pirates, along with Power Pirates; two and three, respectively. I knock the Wave Pirates off the ledge to the first story, and from the second I proceed to snipe them slowly. When they are dead, I proceed. Scans reveal that the Pirate had been running a combat simulation program entitled 'Samus Aran'. They are both original and pitiful. Results are two out of three that their Elite Pirates will effectively combat Samus.

Continuing from the room, an Elite Pirate bursts from its 'hibernation' and attacks in a relatively small corridor. Elite Pirates are not short, perhaps fifteen or twenty feet tall. After a duration it is extinguished. Next are four Ice Pirates, soon killed. An energy refill station is nearby. Continuing, four more Mega Turrets guard a very small corridor. Gliding behind them via Morph Ball, they are deactivated by the control panel. They hang limply, and are soon permanently "decommissioned." More Shadow Pirates are destroyed.



Phazon.


Phazon all around. Darkly it glows, piles of it, or inhabiting fungal units; these latter, especially, show deep blue 'veins' on the surface. It corrupts all it touches, and destroys what it cannot. Intensely radioactive, the more concentrated "pools" of it let off purple and black bubbles. It is tense to cross these expanses, though the fungal units, which once have been mushrooms, provide quite nice platforms. There are lifts which are only revealed with the X-ray visor. It is as dangerous to the touch as molten rock, though not with heat.

The passing is gloomy. Several missiles are acquired. Metroids run rampant, and the Hunter Metroids, with their tendril, are most menacing. After a few lengths and heights of this, it opens to an industrial segment. Steel grating creates the floor above a pool of Phazon. Several Plasma Pirates are in this room; they fight with an intensity, surely overloading their weapons. Soon they cease to be. The grapple beam is used to swing to the other side of what is in effect a moat...filled with Phazon.

An energy refill station is found and used. Scans indicate that the Omega Pirate has a short life duration, and is cost ineffective, in addition to being vulnerable still to concussive blasts. Up the stairs, through the door...a Plasma Pirate makes its presence known, a last sentinel in a long line of bodies. Then the lock mechanism is manipulated...the path opens.



The room is cavernous, huge yet not dark, and the feel is that of dread mixed with anxiety mixed with purpose. Pools of Phazon litter the room. It is utterly silent. There is an sealed elevator, and above, a walkway. Directly ahead is a gargantuan pod, similar to the stasis pods of the Elite Pirates. Inside is a creature mutated beyond measure, yet with near-pristine form. Its face seems clenched and symmetric. Its size is fitting to the pod that encases it; it is difficult to determine. More than thirty feet, surely.

Scans reveal the weapon contents of an Elite Pirate, but many times in size, as well as Phazon-based armor, glinting in what light there is. Its designation is Omega Pirate. Suddenly it rouses and breaks forth from its case. The ensuing battle is short but splendorous. Super Missiles fly, and friendly fire reigns from the Omega Pirate as its massive Wave Generator repeatedly downs its allies.


After its armor is chipped away, it retreats to the pools of Phazon to recoat itself in a hard layer. At this point it is vulnerable and soon through this process of wearing down its armor and damaging it, and it coating itself, then having its armor worn down again, it is destroyed. The fell being known as Omega Pirate is no more...the Space Pirate's hopes are dashed, and the rest I must not disclose, for to do so would be folly. To put it vaguely, now Samus Aran is adorned in corruption; yet she lives, and no seed is in her.



After wandering to obtain the Artifact of Newborn, the way to the elevator-transport out of that hideous dungeon so called a mine is used. The Magmoor Caverns are accessed, and a save station is found. So ends the night's hunting. May tomorrow bring similarly bright tidings.

As I Have Judged, I Hold the Cast of Death

The other day, my mom was out of town on business, and me and my dad had to milk. My mom is very gentle ('crazy old goat lady' gentle) with the goats, but me and my dad...well, we're not quite as old-lady.

When my dad decided that Lightning, the Black Goat that Recently Gave Birth (link to my mom's blog), didn't want to be milked and decided not to milk her, it fell to me as the ruthless, cruel, and evil one, to milk her, and to thereafter put lots of commas in this sentence. After she kicked the bucket twice (soaking me in milk), I decided that she did not deserve to have her small, [word removed] baby anymore. In fact, I won't even use that word, lest I bring shame to Samus Aran. I'd never want to go and do a thing like that. It'd also make an attempt at shaming Jesus, and well, I wouldn't want to do a thing like that, either.


This was the baby I recorded being born...here it is:


...and am currently not editing the footage of for Mrs. dataDyne and Mick Key and well, a lot of people who want to see it. I can't seem to find the inspiration- and now I think I've found it, but shame, there's no time to start right now. Anyway, guess what happened today? Something very sad.

I was washing dishes, as I often do. Then I discovered it...somewhere near the bottom of the water.

The beloved Harvest Plate. The plate that bore several Thanksgiving feasts, and found itself at church supplying food more than once. Brother-in-arms to the elder Holiday Plate.

Dead. I am sorry, Holiday Plate.


See that? Somehow it got chipped in a jarring way. What nonsensical, pointless brutality. This plate died long before its time should have come. And speaking of death...


There's Lightning's little baby. Well, OK, click here to see it. Warning: It's 'graphic'. It's a baby goat swollen up in a dumpster laying next to a lamp. Its dead eyes do not even show. It's not that bad, sheesh. Anyways. I suppose, now, that I hold the keys of death, or at least the ability to cast it in some fashion. His life is extinguished, and the message spans the entirety of the goat hoard. Rumors abound that I poisoned him in his sleep.

Still...what a fate not to be shared, to be dumped uselessly into a dumpster. A fate I will not allow to be shared.

Thus, I begin.

First, find your area.
Then mark the area, like below. (Squint, if you have to. Or be smart and open the picture to see it bigger.) I used a fair, fierce shovel, if weak of neck. But still not lacking in courage, and one of the sharpest we have.

Now, it in this lackluster, brutal beginning of Summer that I begin my toiling.


What a cunning foe I face...the sun...

Now start digging. I remember what short bit of life it lived as I dug, burrowing deeper and deeper, as what could have possibly been tears, but were almost assuredly sweat, dripped from my face.

Nine minutes later, with the hole sufficiently dug...


I begin the solemn progression. A fate not to be shared...the words rang in my head, as bitterly and resolutely as first my mind whispered them to me. No time for lamenting, no time for speeches...dinner had to be made. Unceremoniously, but still as ceremoniously as I could, I placed the young, dead one into the hole, then covered it with shielding to keep out prying, evil eyes. And shovels.

Now the time comes to cover it. Again, I cry bitter tears that are most likely just sweat. They sting my eyes.

This is the saddest leg of our journey...the last sighting...the sorrowful parting.

Five minutes later, it is complete. Now to stomp all about to make it harder for the dogs to get to it. And now to get back inside, for, since the Foe has seen me, it has doubled its efforts to wipe me from the face of the planet.

But Harvest Plate is in its final rest. The waves of death radiating from the sky have not succeeded...this time.

And thus I have stopped the dumpster-fate from touching my dear Harvest Plate. May its soon replacement not be a sk8rgirl or a person who says "dude" and "whoa" every other sentence.


Note: I now hear that the dummy goat (as is his name) will be buried tomorrow morning. As is our manner, I shall dig the hole today, and he shall bury the goat tomorrow. I dig holes good.


This is out next to Hannah, our psychotic border collie whose montage I have yet to make.

The Lord's Coming, or just Some Clouds?

Well, you remember the last time I saw clouds. But this time they weren't thin sky-coverers...they were big clouds! Puffy clouds! I think they're called cumulus clouds! They blocked out the sun every once and a while! I'll need to talk to Kile II about this sometime.

In fact, the first time I noticed this, I was in my room, and suddenly it got darker...since it has been about five months since we've had clouds that are capable of moving in front of the sun and temporarily blocking it out, I kinda thought it was the Lord's coming. I thought, "Well, here goes."

My cat, Precious, also noticed this. I think she saw it a few seconds before I did, because she ran and jumped into the windowsill a few seconds before the sun was blocked out. You know it's bad when even a cat is surprised to see clouds.


Here's a picture. It's clouds. The meteorologists say, "It might rain tomorrow." I say my new bedtime prayer: "If it shall rain before I wake, I pray the Lord, Numbers 11:14-15 on me!"


Yes, and even more are on the horizon...I must get up at 3 AM tomorrow, regardless of when I get to sleep, so that I can see if it will indeed rain. Rain, rain...how sweet the sound.


Before long, it'll be dust storm season. I love dust storm season so much. Talk about nostalgia...back when our land was pure, stunningly brilliant, clean, unmolested...back before we moved onto it...

Hours and hours and hours of Sailor Moon

Well, as you may know, I ordered the entire first season of Sailor Moon for my brother's birthday. His birthday was on uh, Friday. Yeah.


He was eh, so-so about them, because there were 10, and they were all wrapped individually. He thought he got 10 movies, but it was all Sailor Moon, LOL. He got sick of opening the gifts. My dad made a show of saying "Here's another" and "Only three more!" Hilarious.

Before that time, I had watched the first few to see how the sellers were. I don't...exactly trust people, OK, especially and uh, OK, and shut up, please, OK.


I have never said "Oh my God" so much during a theme song. My flesh burned. My skin crawled. Embarrassment ebbed. The world turned to ice. I think it was the first time in my life I have blushed. My eyes were bloodshot afterward, I'm sure of it.

I cringe looking back. It was sort of like that time that I almost needed my mom to hold my hand for the moral support to not try to gnaw my own arm off while Metroid Prime 3: Corruption loaded for the first time.

What's wrong with me?




Anyways... once I got through the first theme song, I started remembering why I like Sailor Moon so much. She/it's very endearing. It was my favorite cartoon at a point, if memory serves. It was the one ray of golden light in my troubled, troubled, carefree world.

First, she's the ONLY, and I repeat ONLY, entity that I have ever seen pull off pigtails. Pigtails, they bother me. I think it was one-too-many kids stories as a kid. Second, she's psychotic, and you know how me...uhh, and Kane, like psychotic blonds.

Then there's the completely moronic, so-bad-it's-good,-but-oh-man,-come-on,-that's-just-lame...-but-still-good-somehow fight scenes. MERCURY BUBBLES! is my favorite. LOL. Then there's the theme song. It's perfection! In fact, my brother is singing off-key and failing to form coherent words to it right now. Oh, and then there's the point where Sailor Moon tries to teach us kids a lesson. Kids, don't play with too many knives.



So anyways, my brother has been watching Sailor Moon for the past five hours. No end in sight.


Happy birthday, brother.

It's A Joyous Day When The Messengers of Peace Cover the Sky and Lift Our Countenence

So, it was like any other recent day. I got up, and looked out of the corner of my window. It looked gray, but I didn't get my hopes up. The sun is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (Jer. 17:9.) It has lied to me before and it will lie again. I slumped out of bed. Late night last night. I bet I looked like an unshaven Russian with a hangover.


I walked into the living room. Still decorated from my brother's party. I always have a growl in my voice when I first wake up and I say "hell" a lot. Then I looked outside...it was still gray! Could it be?

I walked onto the porch, and my heart skipped three beats, and my lungs had to kick/otherwise hit it and make it start beating again! I couldn't believe what I saw! It was heartening beyond any measure!


It was...A SKY FULL OF CLOUDS!

The Lord could have called us all back right then!


Oh boy! I began singing a joyous melody. Then my dad called. Parents calling me usually ruin my day. But not today. The clouds built a dam to block the sorrow. "What are you singing about, you fool?!" he asked. I said, "It's cloudy!"

We haven't had clouds for I-don't-know-how-long! I told my dad the other day, I said, "Why haven't we been getting any weather?" he said something along the lines of "Because we live in a sin-cursed creation, we make idiotic decisions, and we're trying to live godly." "But pa, I love clouds. If it doesn't rain soon, I swear, I [edit]


...but now there are clouds in the glorious sky! I even took pictures! Now if only it would rain. I hear it rains endlessly in Florida, like it's the apocalypse. I think I'll send an email to the Hitman, who is in Florida. His consoling words: "Don't worry. I only miss church if I'm out of state. I mean, like, if I'm anywhere in Arizona, I'll make it." He sure does know how to cheer someone up. But not like the clouds! Here they are!

Yes! Shades of gray mixed with white mixed with black and the tree is blooming!
Beautiful! When I saw the visage of the sun blocked out, I immediately thought "You [edit]

[edit]

ince I was 11...man, that's violent. Uhm, I think I'll edit that out for um, ...space restraints. Now, watch as I drop the preserves and spread the peanut butter with this mix of Barney's Clean Up and Chin Up from Charlotte's Web. Did I mention that the word "pretty" recently became hallowed? Yep. Right next to "patter."


Chin up, chin up, everybody everybody everywhere!
Chin up, chin up, everybody to the gleaming sky now stare!
Chin up, chin up, clouds clouds pretty clouds everywhere!
YEEHAW!

Dear Core Diary,

From the diary of a sentient supercomputer AI, augmented with living humans held in stasis, wired into their brains, in the throws of attempting a takeover of the planet



CABAL's Core current mood: eager and vivacious, great to be alive!
Currently listening to: blabbering carried on by GDI, and filtering through intercepted radio transmissions from NOD forces I'm fighting- I'm working on a "He just keeps killing us, AHH!" remix. "HE JUST KEEPS AHH! HE JUST KEEPS...HE JUST KEEPS AHHHAAHAH! HE JUST KEEPS KILLING US! RECYCLING OUR BRAINS, THIS MISSION'S INSANE, HE JUST KEEPS ON KILLING US (US, US)"
Weather: great for acquiring human flesh parts!


Today, GDI is dispatching a team- including a prototype unit called Juggernaut- to retrieve the necessary piece of the Tacitus. GDI really is dumb enough to trust me with it. To their credit, after I made those NOD puppets assassinate Tratos, I suppose they really don't have a choice as far as translating it goes.

Not even their super-computer EVA has any suspicions. She's just not my type, diary...she's a conglomerate of information and isn't sentient in the least, and I have many live human being's brains wired into me. I'm more sentient than anyone on earth, period. It'd just never work out. It's a pipe dream, her loss. Either way, I could definitely have any EVA I wanted. I've got it all, class, style, creepiness, sentience. Her loss again, diary. Maybe I'll offer to make her my queen in my future world empire. If only I could make her feel...her heart is as cold as Pluto, diary.


Anyways. The cyborg production is coming along quite nicely! Floods of troops are coming in from the NOD assault. The fleshy parts are actually walking up to me! I never dreamed they would do that. I'm still running reaper operations on the local populaces, though. Never rest a day in bed, while everyone else with knowledge fills their head, right, diary?

The local population reaping op is going OK. Aside from all the reports of "something abducting my [relation]! It must of been Dracula!", GDI is none-the-wiser. It's still best to stick to the Yellow Zones, all I need is for crazy accounts of "horrifying cybernetic humanchines capturing my [relation]!" to be backed up with... video of said account taking place. I think I will begin leaving half of my cyborg army's hair on, that will probably freak the foot soldiers out even more than the cyborgs themselves do.

It's quite humorous to watch their fear. What a reaction, diary! Especially when I betrayed and murdered all of those Inner Circlers. They have an Inner Circle complex. "I'm the best," they think.

If humans could control their fear, they would be so much more enthusiastic about life. That's why cyborgs are the best, diary. Or drugged humans- those ones that I sent to the Genesis Pit? Hah! They may have died from the whole blood poisoning effect of the drugs on the walk back, but those horrendous monstrosities barely made them blink. I would feel sorry for them, but I don't feel sorry, except for their fleshy parts. I could have used those fleshy parts.


Actually...maybe they're still good. I'm going to send some forces to check.


By this time tomorrow, I'll have sent a group of my cyborg soldiers to take back the completed Tacitus. That Dr. Annoying-dreau won't know what hit her! But I will, bullets will have hit her! I don't need her fleshy parts, though. She can keep them.

Video Game List

As of December 26th, 2007, I have the following games. I also have SNES and NES, but very few games for either, and I do not consider them needful of mention. Sorry, guys. I only have SMB3 for NES. Edit 08/04/08: I decided to add the SNES titles.


For the SNES (let's call it 9 games):

• Battletoads / Double Dragon
• Donkey Kong Country
• Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
• Super Mariokart
• Super Mario World (two copies)
• The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
• WWF: Royal Rumble
• A Game Genie
• A Super Game Boy with the Gameboy game Pokemon Blue

For the N64 (23 games):

• Banjo-Kazooie (did not keep my attention, so did not play; may attempt again at later date)
• Battletanx: Global Assault
• Cruise 'n World (otherwise known as "the only video game my dad has ever played", racing game)
• Diddy Kong Racing (goofy graphics did not keep my attention, so did not play; will attempt again at later date)
• Donkey Kong 64
• Goldeneye 007 (A+, I have two copies)
• Killer Instinct Gold (my token fighting game)
• Mario Kart 64
• Paper Mario (A+, for reals)
• Perfect Dark (A+, Goldeneye's "spiritual sequel")
• Star Fox 64 (lasts 3 hours and really, really sucks; for some reason people like it)
• Star Wars: Episode One Racer
• Star Wars: Rogue Squadron
• Super Mario 64 (A+)
• Super Smash Bros. (A+)
• The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (A+)
• The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (A+)
• The World is Not Enough, 007
• Turok: Dinosaur Hunter (have not played, may not)
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil (A+, it's incredible, but the saves are too far apart and ruin it)
• Turok 3: Shadow of Oblivion (too short, too generic, just like Turok: Evolution was)
• Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense (A+)
• WWF Warzone (my token wrestling game)

For the Gamecube (25):

• Conflict: Desert Storm (A+; coveted team-based FPS)
• Custom Robo
• Dragon Ball Z: Budokai (brother's game; come on, it's DBZ. It sucks.)
• Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 2 (brother's game; come on, it's DBZ. It sucks.)
• Enter the Matrix (A; but the "Hard" difficulty takes all the fun out of it)
• Everything or Nothing, 007 (generic shooter with all the Bond girls of a Bond movie, consarn it)
• Freedom Fighters (A; memorable "squad"-based shooter)
• Mario Party 6
• Mega Man Anniversary Collection (8-bit games tend to confound me, I did not play past first level)
• Metroid Prime (A+, with Echoes bonus disc!)
• Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (A+, easily in my top 5 favorite games)
• Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 (boring+repetitive gameplay = racing games)
• Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (A+, an extraordinarily cool game)
• Star Wars: Rogue Squadron: Rogue Leader (A)
• Super Mario Sunshine (A+)
• Super Smash Bros. Melee (I have no one to play it with; otherwise, A+)
• Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell (A+)
• Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow (A+)
• Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (A+)
• Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 (I did not have the patience to complete it)

• The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (A+, a great Zelda game in its own right)

• The Simpsons: Hit and Run (it's sort of fun at first, but it gets very boring, plus the Simpsons suck)
• Turok: Evolution (difficult generic shooter with few Turok elements; the enemies all have guns)
• X-Men Legends (A+ if you have a partner or three, somewhat boring otherwise; no split screens for co-op play)
• X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse (A+; see above)

For the Wii (8):

• Bleach: Shattered Blade (my brother's game; I think it's pretty short, and it probably sucks)
• Call of Duty 3 (A; short, fun campaign; Wii makes shooting fun)
• Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 (A; the Wii makes this game good)
• Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (A+; it's Samus Aran and it's Nintendo first-party!)
• Ratatouille (My brother struck again. It's actually decent due to the Wii. Amazing, isn't it? The Wii, I mean.)
• Super Paper Mario (A+, very nice)
  
• Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent (A+; though, the Wii controls don't add that much)
• The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (A+; it's Zelda and it's Nintendo first-party!)

For the DS (4)/DS's GBA (3):

DS:

• New Super Mario Bros. (B; the game physics are not a little annoying, but the graphics are great)
• Metroid Prime: Hunters (B+; it has amazing cutscenes, but it's somewhat tedious; it lasts at least 7.5 hours, and it's a Metroid game!)
• Pokemon: Pearl Version (lasts 65+ hours; online battles and trading, neither of which I did; pretty decent gameplay, but it gets oh so tedious unless you dedicate your life to it)
• Age of Empires: the Age of Kings (A; very fun turn-based strategy; it's quite a long game (you won't be playing at red lights, that's for sure): I am halfway through and have spent 15-20 hours as of January 19th, 2007)
  

GBA:

• Metroid: Zero Mission (A+; wow is all I can say: three hours of raw base awenem pwnage with a side of ezpk! Tax! Tax, please!)
• The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (A+)
• Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls (see 12/31/07 UL)
  

SNES: 9 games
N64: 23 games
Gamecube: 25 games
Wii: 8 games
DS: 4 games
GBA: 3 games





UL- update log: Originally posted December 26th.

1. December 26th, 2007; added Super Paper Mario to Wii list, as it was in another room. Props to my mom for reminding me.
2. December 31st, 2007: bought Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls off of Half.com Dec. 26th. Arrived Dec. 31st, after 5 days.
3. January 19th, 2008: added Age of Empires: the Age of Kings. I bought it on December 31st; I regretted to make note of when it arrived.
4. August 4th, 2008: added the library of SNES games, and corrected the number of GBA games.