I think that's a talisman in Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. That is a "chicken soup for Kev's soul" game. But it is not convenient.
Anyways, I was thinking the other day...things die when they don't have air. I had been thinking of that for a while. These intensely difficult equations and theories in my head just bounce around splattering into each other, you know. But I digress: things can be drowned...things can be...strangled. I think you know where this post is going, so if you're a coward, and a sissy, don't read on. But it really isn't that bad. You... pervert.
We had a goat to slaughter. Yeah, you definitely know where I'm going now. We dislike the notion of cutting its neck with a knife. It's too...weird, at least right now. I told my dad, "Why don't we just strangle it?" and he was like, "Kev, that is just weird. You'd have to be a real sicko to do that."
Long story short, I strangled a goat today "with my bare hands," as my parents are already fond of saying. It was a lot easier than I thought it'd be, but it was pretty...well, you know, with the thrashing, the gasping for air, the struggling with every last ounce of power for its life. It was raging against me with all of its will and strength, but I am a human and thus have the superiority.
Now, it gets worse.
Once it was, ah, out of it, to make sure that it didn't come back to life, I took ol' stabby and, well, let's say it doesn't have 5 o'clock shadow anymore, if you understand Splinter Cell humor. If you don't understand Splinter Cell humor, I think you still know what I did. Someone had to do it. Man. Moment. Baby goat.
Later on, I got to follow that old kingly decree, "Off with his head!"
It sure is surprising how soft the spine at the neck is.
This has been a dark humor post by Kev.
Showing posts with label Goats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goats. Show all posts
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Those Cows are outta the House!
Expect soon the "Things I Love" tag. This post is a few days late. It was supposed to be posted on Friday the 11th.
It rhymes if you read it right. MAN, my parents know how to be gone every single day for...well, it would be easier for me to say "they're home for 5-7 hours on one day."
But yes, the cows are now at the plant. They're going to be killed. Probably shocked, then have a drill or something bore into their heads. Warning! Link is "graphic"! Almost as graphic as 8-bit decapitation! And from Turok 2! It features brain matter being drilled out of a dinosoid skull!
...though I don't know how efficiently they have it down nowadays. In Turok: Evolution, it also saws their arms and legs off, so I assume it's something along those lines, but mounted on a conveyor belt, and adapted to work for cows.
So, the stir-fry turned out well. The meat was terrible, in comparison. They got a nasty round-steak from some guy who had one arm and no eyes, and three legs, and four feet just to make up for his other ailments, the list of which are being a pathological liar, and tendencies toward violence. It turns out he was lying about the three legs, four feet, and no eyes.
We forgot the Wasabi. My Mom bought like three cups of it months ago. Dry, of course, we mix it fresh. THIS stuff has a ...wierd(sic) taste. The other stuff we had was niiiice. Expensive, but niiiice.
We just found out a few days ago that our local meat processing plant...well, see, meat plants take dead cows which have been in the sun for a few days, load them into a trailer, and pretend they're alive. Then they sell that meat to people for a profit. But, one condition. They have to send the brains to an agency which tests it for, I dunno, Deathitis, the Arch-Disease(tm).
This plant did not. They switched for the brains of healthy cows. So they're facing a few million dollars fines, and up to 20 years in prison. That's attempting to pass on Deathitis, the Arch-Disease(tm). Which is attempted murder and food poisoning.
I drug the Cow's water dish, or, "bath tub," out to to goat's pen. Also, I put the goat's previous water dishes (4x 5-gallon buckets) in the goat buck pen, so they can go two or three days without filling them up now.
Speaking of goats, damn that goat, Little Stupid, AKA Northern Dancer.
...I have NEVER prayed for an animal to die. I haven't even considered it. But that goat makes me consider it. But is it right to pray God that one of his creations die? I would think not.
Then again, with such a matted coat and horrendous underbite, and mismatched teeth, teats one inch long, is she really meant to exist? We have some goats which are one year old, and they have teats as big as she does. They have not been freshened (or "bred") yet.
It's like that chick, well, I wouldn't call her a "chick," more like "dumbass," that dumbass from Alien (I dislike her more than I dislike Lara Croft, and I don't really have much against Lara). You know, she got cloned, then killed her own clone. Well, this goat doesn't need to exist like that clone doesn't need to exist. This goat takes 15 minutes to milk (and eats twice as much grain), compared to like 3 minutes for one, 5 minutes for another, and 5 minutes for another. Also, she had MAD tendencies to kick the bucket (as she's a filthy whore.)
I just wish she would kick the bucket. Oh, man, that was clever.
It rhymes if you read it right. MAN, my parents know how to be gone every single day for...well, it would be easier for me to say "they're home for 5-7 hours on one day."
But yes, the cows are now at the plant. They're going to be killed. Probably shocked, then have a drill or something bore into their heads. Warning! Link is "graphic"! Almost as graphic as 8-bit decapitation! And from Turok 2! It features brain matter being drilled out of a dinosoid skull!
...though I don't know how efficiently they have it down nowadays. In Turok: Evolution, it also saws their arms and legs off, so I assume it's something along those lines, but mounted on a conveyor belt, and adapted to work for cows.
So, the stir-fry turned out well. The meat was terrible, in comparison. They got a nasty round-steak from some guy who had one arm and no eyes, and three legs, and four feet just to make up for his other ailments, the list of which are being a pathological liar, and tendencies toward violence. It turns out he was lying about the three legs, four feet, and no eyes.
We forgot the Wasabi. My Mom bought like three cups of it months ago. Dry, of course, we mix it fresh. THIS stuff has a ...wierd(sic) taste. The other stuff we had was niiiice. Expensive, but niiiice.
We just found out a few days ago that our local meat processing plant...well, see, meat plants take dead cows which have been in the sun for a few days, load them into a trailer, and pretend they're alive. Then they sell that meat to people for a profit. But, one condition. They have to send the brains to an agency which tests it for, I dunno, Deathitis, the Arch-Disease(tm).
This plant did not. They switched for the brains of healthy cows. So they're facing a few million dollars fines, and up to 20 years in prison. That's attempting to pass on Deathitis, the Arch-Disease(tm). Which is attempted murder and food poisoning.
I drug the Cow's water dish, or, "bath tub," out to to goat's pen. Also, I put the goat's previous water dishes (4x 5-gallon buckets) in the goat buck pen, so they can go two or three days without filling them up now.
Speaking of goats, damn that goat, Little Stupid, AKA Northern Dancer.
...I have NEVER prayed for an animal to die. I haven't even considered it. But that goat makes me consider it. But is it right to pray God that one of his creations die? I would think not.
Then again, with such a matted coat and horrendous underbite, and mismatched teeth, teats one inch long, is she really meant to exist? We have some goats which are one year old, and they have teats as big as she does. They have not been freshened (or "bred") yet.
It's like that chick, well, I wouldn't call her a "chick," more like "dumbass," that dumbass from Alien (I dislike her more than I dislike Lara Croft, and I don't really have much against Lara). You know, she got cloned, then killed her own clone. Well, this goat doesn't need to exist like that clone doesn't need to exist. This goat takes 15 minutes to milk (and eats twice as much grain), compared to like 3 minutes for one, 5 minutes for another, and 5 minutes for another. Also, she had MAD tendencies to kick the bucket (as she's a filthy whore.)
I just wish she would kick the bucket. Oh, man, that was clever.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
That Dead Goat Again
Well, remember that goat I mentioned? The buck, the one who has "urinary calculi?" Which resulted in...like...I won't describe it. But he died recently, and it took tons longer than we expected. The end result is a urine-smelling carcass. Luckily, I dug his grave yesterday. I mean, he died, so I dug his grave, but it was still lucky. I just don't know how yet.
I made the grave 3' deep by 3' wide by 4' long. I got five blisters. Oh, whiney whine. I did get a damn hell tan too. Sooo close to a sunburn... Oh! And my shoes arrived yesterday, too! They're one size too big, so I will send them back. They seem comfortable, and are dressy. Like, they're going to draw attention, they're so dressy. I love them! Currently, they're a bit uncomfortable, as I lose traction because they're too big, but that should be fixed with the size down. I am going to buy some new ...uhm...sneakers, as well. It's waaay too filthy out here to wear dress shoes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go outside and feed, water and milk. Tomorrow, we're getting rid of the cows! YES! Brownie and Blackie, those accursed fiends! We'll take their bathtub, too.
Oh, right, you don't know. Well, we have a...oh well, I need to get outside. It is 4:11 PM. Be back, soon.
It's now 6:23 PM. Damned goats. I am back! I found a baby chick outside in the chicken pen. It is prettyful! I am going to name it Stompy. I think.
So like I said, you probably don't know, but we have a bathtub out by the cows. It's their water dish. So once the cows are gone off to slaughter tomorrow (double yay!) we're gonna...AWW MAN, I just remembered! I forgot to make my Challah bread! Be right back! 6:25 PM!
I am back, and it is now 6:30 PM. Yes, I made a loaf of bread in five minutes! Behold!
Okay, so crud, I'm going to be eating around 8:30 tonight. Oh well. I can live with that.
So yeah, their water "dish" is a bathtub. We'll be giving that to the goats. See, the goats have about 20 gallons of water. They drink 20 gallons of water by 11 AM. So they go without water for about 7 hours unless I fill it up, which I do. Strange thing is, they only drink about 10 gallons between 11 AM and 5 PM. Well, I guess that's not so strange, but you know what I mean. When we get the tub there, it'll be easy sailing. Unless a goat drowns in it.
My parents are picking up a horse trailer today. We're going to take those cows to slaughter ourselves.
Strainge. I went to Coast to Coast AM just for kicks to see how their "strange craft" was doing. Apparently, the writing on it is some sort of Klingon. Rofl.
Also though, I called my Dad to let him know. He had thought it looked "real" too. Of course, if it was "real," my opinion would be that it is a demon, as that is my view on UFOs. They move too fast to ...be able to move that fast. They would disintegrate, right? Anyways, so I called my Dad, and it turns out they are trying to find an autoparts store.
"Oh. Well, you need my help? I just got inter-" about this time, I am cut off by "YES!" a few times. I learned a while back how to use Google Maps, whilst on the great Wii hunt (my Mom also blogging= rocks). I also helped my Aunt once. I get a feeling of satisfaction, because well, if someone calls me, I can help them find a place nearby, and that's important to them. Such as, when me and my Dad broke down on the freeway, I could have called me and I could have found myself a store. As it was, we had to walk through gang territory, and they murdered us! Our bodies were found, dead, the next morning.
So, I guided them to an autoparts store. If I didn't open two map windows, I would've gotten them one within a minute, but it took like ten because it was a bit slow. Also, every time I would find one ahead of them, they passed it, lol
So it seems something wants me to not tell you about the cows. They stopped by the autoparts store to get a connector for the horse trailer they borrowed. Oh, but look at me, I'm rambling. Tomorrow, the cows are taken TO LE SLAUGHTER! AHHHHHAHAHAAHAH!
I made the grave 3' deep by 3' wide by 4' long. I got five blisters. Oh, whiney whine. I did get a damn hell tan too. Sooo close to a sunburn... Oh! And my shoes arrived yesterday, too! They're one size too big, so I will send them back. They seem comfortable, and are dressy. Like, they're going to draw attention, they're so dressy. I love them! Currently, they're a bit uncomfortable, as I lose traction because they're too big, but that should be fixed with the size down. I am going to buy some new ...uhm...sneakers, as well. It's waaay too filthy out here to wear dress shoes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go outside and feed, water and milk. Tomorrow, we're getting rid of the cows! YES! Brownie and Blackie, those accursed fiends! We'll take their bathtub, too.
Oh, right, you don't know. Well, we have a...oh well, I need to get outside. It is 4:11 PM. Be back, soon.
It's now 6:23 PM. Damned goats. I am back! I found a baby chick outside in the chicken pen. It is prettyful! I am going to name it Stompy. I think.
So like I said, you probably don't know, but we have a bathtub out by the cows. It's their water dish. So once the cows are gone off to slaughter tomorrow (double yay!) we're gonna...AWW MAN, I just remembered! I forgot to make my Challah bread! Be right back! 6:25 PM!
I am back, and it is now 6:30 PM. Yes, I made a loaf of bread in five minutes! Behold!
Okay, so crud, I'm going to be eating around 8:30 tonight. Oh well. I can live with that.
So yeah, their water "dish" is a bathtub. We'll be giving that to the goats. See, the goats have about 20 gallons of water. They drink 20 gallons of water by 11 AM. So they go without water for about 7 hours unless I fill it up, which I do. Strange thing is, they only drink about 10 gallons between 11 AM and 5 PM. Well, I guess that's not so strange, but you know what I mean. When we get the tub there, it'll be easy sailing. Unless a goat drowns in it.
My parents are picking up a horse trailer today. We're going to take those cows to slaughter ourselves.
Strainge. I went to Coast to Coast AM just for kicks to see how their "strange craft" was doing. Apparently, the writing on it is some sort of Klingon. Rofl.
Also though, I called my Dad to let him know. He had thought it looked "real" too. Of course, if it was "real," my opinion would be that it is a demon, as that is my view on UFOs. They move too fast to ...be able to move that fast. They would disintegrate, right? Anyways, so I called my Dad, and it turns out they are trying to find an autoparts store.
"Oh. Well, you need my help? I just got inter-" about this time, I am cut off by "YES!" a few times. I learned a while back how to use Google Maps, whilst on the great Wii hunt (my Mom also blogging= rocks). I also helped my Aunt once. I get a feeling of satisfaction, because well, if someone calls me, I can help them find a place nearby, and that's important to them. Such as, when me and my Dad broke down on the freeway, I could have called me and I could have found myself a store. As it was, we had to walk through gang territory, and they murdered us! Our bodies were found, dead, the next morning.
So, I guided them to an autoparts store. If I didn't open two map windows, I would've gotten them one within a minute, but it took like ten because it was a bit slow. Also, every time I would find one ahead of them, they passed it, lol
So it seems something wants me to not tell you about the cows. They stopped by the autoparts store to get a connector for the horse trailer they borrowed. Oh, but look at me, I'm rambling. Tomorrow, the cows are taken TO LE SLAUGHTER! AHHHHHAHAHAAHAH!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
I GOT THAT GENDERLESS MOONCALF!
Ohh, today was a most fine day! I got me a genderless mooncalf! I hate that damned thing! But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Today surprisingly I got water. With my Dad, in fact. Also, I got hay. It was fun! We took Little J, our dog, the only dog who can stay inside whenever he wants. Hannah can also. The other three are yard dogs. We got ten bales. And two loads of water, I should only have to get three loads this week. (does an "unmasked Midna smile")
Also, we've decided, or, by 'we,' I mean 'my Dad has realized,' that working on the weekend is pretty much dead end. My Mom wants to cut my pay. I'm making about $5 an hour as it is. She'll prolly want to cut me down to $2.50. So, I make $80 a week normally, and another $20 when they leave to work on the weekend. Then I get $20 from the neighbor for the water, so I can buy a little under a Nintendo DS Lite each week. It's wearing on me though, and I am looking forward to being cash strapped again. Currently, I am halfway to being mugged.
I also made doughnuts. Yes, I made them with yeast! And oil! And they didn't turn out quite as good as my Mom's do. I made a little over a dozen...and glazed them. There were some cops outside of our gate chatting, so I made them as a joke. You know, incase they wanted to search our house, we could offer them some doughnuts to...leave us be, hehehe.
We had chili for dinner. Well, my parents did. I don't enjoy chili. I enjoy beans. I love them! Chili, that just makes me sick! Damn nasty chili. Eeehwhe (shudders)
I decided the stress factor here is due to the goats. Every single day, when my parents are on their way home, they're all happy, right? Then they get home and they're in a HORRIBLE IRRITABLE MOOD!
Then, on the weekends, they're fine until milking time, when they TRANSFORM INTO GOATMILKINGTON SUE AND ARNY! OH MY GOSH!
That's what I'll call them. Sue and Arny the goat milkers. I'll say stuff like, "heh heh heh there goes Sue and Arny, huh, Matt?" And he'll be like, "yeah, there goes sue, there goes arny, I wonder if they're gonna milk?" and I'll be like, "Welll what else they ever do?!?!11/" and we'll both laugh. Ahhh, good times. Good times...that...haven't happened yet..
The greatest part about today is that...tomorrow...WALKER, TEXAS RANGER'S TIME SCHEDULE RETURNS TO NORMAL! That being, 5 AM to 9 AM, 4 PM to 6 PM, and 10 PM to Midnight! That's right, eight hours of hard-hitting Texas Justice EACH DAY! AAAAAHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAA (voice breaks) aaaaaaaaaahahah (coughing)
Sorry...so, I told you before about that damn Pokemon named Mesprit, right? Runs like a tail-turning follybird? Well, it's genderless, and it's a damn MOONCALFY FREAK JELLYPANTS!! THAT'S RIGHT! IT WEARS JELLY AS PANTS! As in, you know, like, ...jelly legs. Like...feelers. You know what I mean!!!
This all started back when I got the ability to go underground in the game. I saw, "wi-fi," and I walked away. It turns out, it's only local wi-fi, meaning, if I had someone next to me, we could play together...not as in Nintendo Wi-Fi connection. So blah on me, I could have done lots better. Aanyways, I then discovered I could use the Heart Scale to pay the move learner! OH MY GOSH! You see...
...have I told you about Roselia? I didn't evolve her until she was past learning some great moves, so I missed out. But the move re-learner can...y'know, re-learn those moves! OH ME OH MIY! So, I desperately searched for some aid in capturing that fiendish Mesprit, that wenchy jerkward!...and, sure enough, Roselia could learn GrassWhistle, which puts things to sleep. So, after ...like 8+ hours of off and on Walker, Texas Ranger and desperately trying for Mesprit, I put it to sleep, and...it ran. IT WAS ASWEAP AND IT STILL RUNNED ><
But then, I caught it the very next time I saw it with the first Quick Ball. After I had used 20+ of those and 15+ of others with only two close shots. I caught Azelf with one quick ball, for the records. But oh, imagine my joy, when:
Oh, joy joy joy. Well I'm not that happy. Moreso relieved! Now I can go after Uxie, and then go try to complete my Pokedex...then go face off against that jerk Ralph. He's my rival. I named him that so I can call him (offensively) "Raaaaaalphy!"...yeah. And, by the way, for the log book...yesterday I beat the Elite Four, and it was tough. Took me three hours. Or so...man. Then I got to the battle tower, and I can get- get this- in half an hour, 30k worth of stuff. I get 30k worth of stuff in 10 minutes when I farm the rich kids! This is madness! You're all CRAZY!
Today surprisingly I got water. With my Dad, in fact. Also, I got hay. It was fun! We took Little J, our dog, the only dog who can stay inside whenever he wants. Hannah can also. The other three are yard dogs. We got ten bales. And two loads of water, I should only have to get three loads this week. (does an "unmasked Midna smile")
Also, we've decided, or, by 'we,' I mean 'my Dad has realized,' that working on the weekend is pretty much dead end. My Mom wants to cut my pay. I'm making about $5 an hour as it is. She'll prolly want to cut me down to $2.50. So, I make $80 a week normally, and another $20 when they leave to work on the weekend. Then I get $20 from the neighbor for the water, so I can buy a little under a Nintendo DS Lite each week. It's wearing on me though, and I am looking forward to being cash strapped again. Currently, I am halfway to being mugged.
I also made doughnuts. Yes, I made them with yeast! And oil! And they didn't turn out quite as good as my Mom's do. I made a little over a dozen...and glazed them. There were some cops outside of our gate chatting, so I made them as a joke. You know, incase they wanted to search our house, we could offer them some doughnuts to...leave us be, hehehe.
We had chili for dinner. Well, my parents did. I don't enjoy chili. I enjoy beans. I love them! Chili, that just makes me sick! Damn nasty chili. Eeehwhe (shudders)
I decided the stress factor here is due to the goats. Every single day, when my parents are on their way home, they're all happy, right? Then they get home and they're in a HORRIBLE IRRITABLE MOOD!
Then, on the weekends, they're fine until milking time, when they TRANSFORM INTO GOATMILKINGTON SUE AND ARNY! OH MY GOSH!
That's what I'll call them. Sue and Arny the goat milkers. I'll say stuff like, "heh heh heh there goes Sue and Arny, huh, Matt?" And he'll be like, "yeah, there goes sue, there goes arny, I wonder if they're gonna milk?" and I'll be like, "Welll what else they ever do?!?!11/" and we'll both laugh. Ahhh, good times. Good times...that...haven't happened yet..
The greatest part about today is that...tomorrow...WALKER, TEXAS RANGER'S TIME SCHEDULE RETURNS TO NORMAL! That being, 5 AM to 9 AM, 4 PM to 6 PM, and 10 PM to Midnight! That's right, eight hours of hard-hitting Texas Justice EACH DAY! AAAAAHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAA (voice breaks) aaaaaaaaaahahah (coughing)
Sorry...so, I told you before about that damn Pokemon named Mesprit, right? Runs like a tail-turning follybird? Well, it's genderless, and it's a damn MOONCALFY FREAK JELLYPANTS!! THAT'S RIGHT! IT WEARS JELLY AS PANTS! As in, you know, like, ...jelly legs. Like...feelers. You know what I mean!!!
This all started back when I got the ability to go underground in the game. I saw, "wi-fi," and I walked away. It turns out, it's only local wi-fi, meaning, if I had someone next to me, we could play together...not as in Nintendo Wi-Fi connection. So blah on me, I could have done lots better. Aanyways, I then discovered I could use the Heart Scale to pay the move learner! OH MY GOSH! You see...
...have I told you about Roselia? I didn't evolve her until she was past learning some great moves, so I missed out. But the move re-learner can...y'know, re-learn those moves! OH ME OH MIY! So, I desperately searched for some aid in capturing that fiendish Mesprit, that wenchy jerkward!...and, sure enough, Roselia could learn GrassWhistle, which puts things to sleep. So, after ...like 8+ hours of off and on Walker, Texas Ranger and desperately trying for Mesprit, I put it to sleep, and...it ran. IT WAS ASWEAP AND IT STILL RUNNED ><
But then, I caught it the very next time I saw it with the first Quick Ball. After I had used 20+ of those and 15+ of others with only two close shots. I caught Azelf with one quick ball, for the records. But oh, imagine my joy, when:
Gotcha!
Mesprit was caught!
Oh, joy joy joy. Well I'm not that happy. Moreso relieved! Now I can go after Uxie, and then go try to complete my Pokedex...then go face off against that jerk Ralph. He's my rival. I named him that so I can call him (offensively) "Raaaaaalphy!"...yeah. And, by the way, for the log book...yesterday I beat the Elite Four, and it was tough. Took me three hours. Or so...man. Then I got to the battle tower, and I can get- get this- in half an hour, 30k worth of stuff. I get 30k worth of stuff in 10 minutes when I farm the rich kids! This is madness! You're all CRAZY!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
On Battery Power: A Kevinsky (fails to) Plot Post
Yes, it's battery power time. Which means...hold up, lemme lower the juice flow into this mad dog screen ya'wazz's.
Awright. It's a bit hard to see, but the battery will last longer. I always do lots of research for my posts; I would finish a post in about 25 minutes, but I do tons of fact-checking...usually 2.5 hours worth. Go figure.
So, my Mom and Dad got me a book by Tim LaHaye. Tim LaHaye I like. Jerry B. Jenkins...man, my left arm hurts. Hard to type kinda...anyways...Jerry B. Jenkins wrote the Left Behind series. I know HE wrote it because if Tim LaHaye would have wrote it, he would have called it Left BeHind.
If you don't get that joke, I suggest a reactive fusion reverse humorologist visit. Because most likely, you are stupid. Like, Tim LaHaye. The 'H' in LaHaye is capitalized. So the 'h' in Left Behind would be capitalized too if he got his way. Nevermind, you ruined it already. Just for that, I am going to drink a warm Sparkling Water. Eww, yuck. Here goes. You jerk.
Man. It's like sand paper. So ...what's the word...coarse. So coarse...so, the book is...
...here is a link to a Flash I made. All I really did was just type in what the book says. You know, like, on the back, and in the preface.
So, being presented with this (it had perforations so they could tear it out easily, and the back panel was one big sticker that could be removed, revealing an inspirational message!), I wasn't quite sure just what to think. It seems my parents followed the advice, too.
"Wow Kev, we are certainly sorry we had to go to get kidney-stone dissolvants due to the goat which has 'sand' stuck in there! We care about you very much!"
I'm like, I was JUST half-way through reading the last bit there.
"Yes, you are a great son- that is most definitely for sure!"
Then I started going along with it. Now I am the one who holds the cards. Mwahah--- AWW MAN! I didn't get any plotting done! Sheesh. I'm gonna have nightmares now. Aw man, it's even midnight- the night of midness which is the ripest for formulationating bad dreams. However, I have good ideas in dreams. Like that one store. Coolest convenience store-slash-cafe ever.
...I sure do wish I got a chance to plot. I'm too tired now...I spent five-and-a-half hours on this post. You should check out GodTube.com, it's like YouTube, but Christian. Not quite sure how they'll keep the kuffars off of it...a kuffar is an unbeliever. That's what Muslims call them. Kuffa, kaffur, they aren't sure how to spell it. So, a kuffar (coo-far) is an unbeliever in (muslim).
Remember earlier I said they (parents) had to go get a kidney-stone dissolvant? Well, it's for our herd buck. He is the one who gets the does pregnant when we want them to start producing milk again. He had uhh...well...he...can't really perform his duty. At this time.
Also, he cannot pee. He will die tomorrow, and I will dig his grave. Also, I will drag him to it, and throw him into it, and cover him up.
He could be dead right now, I don't know...poor guy. If I was a real evil bastard, I would go out there and pee next to his pen just to (snickering) "piss" him off. (rolls over laughing)
Hey, I just discovered it was April Fools day. Weird, I didn't get pranked. Or maybe the book WAS the prank. Or maybe the buck is really alright, and God was just playing a prank on us. Hmm.
...I am shoe-shopping online. I want some classical, lame-looking shoes. They have to be leather and look kind of dressy. I think I have my sights on a certain pair...you see, my feet, they're like, size 14. I am actually wearing size 16's at the moment (they fit well, but are falling apart, and I don't like them). I have had these for ...like, three years. Got them at a yard sale...they're like... eww, they're basketball shoes. I ...ew. Basketball, football, hockey...now, Curling, there is where it's at. Awesome. However I still would not waste my life on curling. I prefer to waste my life doing nothing really.
Goodnight, tomorrow we see if the buck lives or not. I bet I will have to shoot him...damn ... shoot ... goat. I think I might watch Resident Evil tomorrow. I will take notes and report back...if I do watch Resident Evil, that is. Busy busy busy day...
Kevinsky spent six hours, twenty minutes preparing this post, and did not rely on battery power, and did not get any plotting done.
Awright. It's a bit hard to see, but the battery will last longer. I always do lots of research for my posts; I would finish a post in about 25 minutes, but I do tons of fact-checking...usually 2.5 hours worth. Go figure.
So, my Mom and Dad got me a book by Tim LaHaye. Tim LaHaye I like. Jerry B. Jenkins...man, my left arm hurts. Hard to type kinda...anyways...Jerry B. Jenkins wrote the Left Behind series. I know HE wrote it because if Tim LaHaye would have wrote it, he would have called it Left BeHind.
If you don't get that joke, I suggest a reactive fusion reverse humorologist visit. Because most likely, you are stupid. Like, Tim LaHaye. The 'H' in LaHaye is capitalized. So the 'h' in Left Behind would be capitalized too if he got his way. Nevermind, you ruined it already. Just for that, I am going to drink a warm Sparkling Water. Eww, yuck. Here goes. You jerk.
Man. It's like sand paper. So ...what's the word...coarse. So coarse...so, the book is...
...here is a link to a Flash I made. All I really did was just type in what the book says. You know, like, on the back, and in the preface.
So, being presented with this (it had perforations so they could tear it out easily, and the back panel was one big sticker that could be removed, revealing an inspirational message!), I wasn't quite sure just what to think. It seems my parents followed the advice, too.
"Wow Kev, we are certainly sorry we had to go to get kidney-stone dissolvants due to the goat which has 'sand' stuck in there! We care about you very much!"
I'm like, I was JUST half-way through reading the last bit there.
"Yes, you are a great son- that is most definitely for sure!"
Then I started going along with it. Now I am the one who holds the cards. Mwahah--- AWW MAN! I didn't get any plotting done! Sheesh. I'm gonna have nightmares now. Aw man, it's even midnight- the night of midness which is the ripest for formulationating bad dreams. However, I have good ideas in dreams. Like that one store. Coolest convenience store-slash-cafe ever.
...I sure do wish I got a chance to plot. I'm too tired now...I spent five-and-a-half hours on this post. You should check out GodTube.com, it's like YouTube, but Christian. Not quite sure how they'll keep the kuffars off of it...a kuffar is an unbeliever. That's what Muslims call them. Kuffa, kaffur, they aren't sure how to spell it. So, a kuffar (coo-far) is an unbeliever in (muslim).
Remember earlier I said they (parents) had to go get a kidney-stone dissolvant? Well, it's for our herd buck. He is the one who gets the does pregnant when we want them to start producing milk again. He had uhh...well...he...can't really perform his duty. At this time.
Also, he cannot pee. He will die tomorrow, and I will dig his grave. Also, I will drag him to it, and throw him into it, and cover him up.
He could be dead right now, I don't know...poor guy. If I was a real evil bastard, I would go out there and pee next to his pen just to (snickering) "piss" him off. (rolls over laughing)
Hey, I just discovered it was April Fools day. Weird, I didn't get pranked. Or maybe the book WAS the prank. Or maybe the buck is really alright, and God was just playing a prank on us. Hmm.
...I am shoe-shopping online. I want some classical, lame-looking shoes. They have to be leather and look kind of dressy. I think I have my sights on a certain pair...you see, my feet, they're like, size 14. I am actually wearing size 16's at the moment (they fit well, but are falling apart, and I don't like them). I have had these for ...like, three years. Got them at a yard sale...they're like... eww, they're basketball shoes. I ...ew. Basketball, football, hockey...now, Curling, there is where it's at. Awesome. However I still would not waste my life on curling. I prefer to waste my life doing nothing really.
Goodnight, tomorrow we see if the buck lives or not. I bet I will have to shoot him...damn ... shoot ... goat. I think I might watch Resident Evil tomorrow. I will take notes and report back...if I do watch Resident Evil, that is. Busy busy busy day...
Kevinsky spent six hours, twenty minutes preparing this post, and did not rely on battery power, and did not get any plotting done.
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