Animals and Trouble

Edited and updated, April 22nd, 2007, 9:30 PM.



Well, it all started two days ago, when we got back from, most likely, a day of hardcore, rockstar-style partying. We're just bad like that. ...maybe.

Aaand, there was a cow in the turkey pen.

A cow in the turkey pen is like...

A car in a convenience store.





A storm cloud on the moon. Picture at right.




Or an axe murderer locked in a highschool or college with a group of teenagers.

Some daisies. On fire.

A 3-y/o girl (loosely) holding the leash of a 200 pound Rottweiler, looking the other way, and you're a mailman.





Anyways, again, I saw the cow in the turkey pen, now that you understand the severity of that. The turkeys had escaped. Not only that, but the cows were taking advantage of some unguarded turkey food. Between two cows they ate about 38 pounds of feed. They are starting to gobble, but nothing serious.

Soo, I then saw the turkey. I'll do you a favor, I won't describe it for you. Let's just put it this way: It was alone, for hours, with five dogs. That font might make it look like fwe dogs, fwe isn't a word if I recall correctly. I meant 5. Five.

Now, to finish the picture your brain is painting, it was still alive.

We have three turkeys, they were all in this condition. So, I got the axe and a chopping block (cough2x6cough) and got to work. Well, I lost my courage. I found it today though-- I left it under my pillow, as always. Pff, shoulda looked there. Anyways, after we discovered that was too bloody (did you know that blood can coagulate at 300 miles per hour?). We got the gun, and went on a scavenger hunt. There was a turkey hiding for all it was worth in a pile of tarp. It...was better than TurkeyOne.

I drug TurkeyTwo out of the tarp, then she stood up, and I blindfolded her, then lit a cigarette for her. Just so you know, I mean, so you're better informed, turkeys do not have lips, and can't smoke too well. She tried.

Anyways, I shot her against a stack of hay, then my mom found the other one collapsed in a heap in a small tunnel.


Is it true that you get 25 years in prison for having a silencer on a handgun? Just curious. I wouldn't know where to get a silencer, and definitely did not make one out of PVC and jello. And nail polish brush ends.


I drug it out, and talked down on it a bit (it was always comforted by me talking about how it's better dead to us than alive), and then shot it. So that was over. Well, we buried them. Three feet down. Then it was over, and I went to sleep. Well, after sanitizing the phone. And taking a shower.

I was waiting for a phone call from my imprisoned father, and it never came.



I woke up the next day, and I feel like I got yelled at, but I think it was a dream. In which there was a scorpion on a broom...I need to like, study the art of dreaming.

Remind me to work the word 'totally' into conversations more...you know, not like "Totally!!!!1111lololol" but more Goombella's type of usage. Anyways, I discovered that the phone had no tone. So that's why the phonecall never came. Anyways, on and on, then I fixed the cows' ability to get into the turkey pen. For an hour. They broke through that evening. They really like that turkey food.


So today a dude showed up from Qwest, and fixed the phone. It was a burnt cord. I think.




The Kevpire Strikes Back is one of my favorite phrases. Kevpire. It just works...so I went out for a second round on that turkey pen, this time with a hammer clip. Awww-yeah. And a nail pouch. Oh, and a hammer! And for some reason, a chisel. I have weird tastes.

I got two 4-foot 4x6 posts, and buried them about 1.5 feet in the ground. That should hold the plywood up. Only thing is, a cow slipped by, and escaped. Then another cow jumped over their corral fence. So I let the last one out (it was running around like a scared horny-toad), and they all had fun chasing the dogs. They loves them some dog chasing.

So I got five 12-foot 2x4's and put them along the top of their corral, along with some 8-footers. The posts, railrood ties, are 6 foot high. There were 2x4 rails up to 3.7 feet, and now they're up to about 5 feet. No jumping over that. I also reinforced all the other rails. And I put plywood and pallets in the turkey pen. But the challenge now is getting the cows back into the corral.

This all started about 9:45 AM, and ended about, oh, 1:15 PM. I am hungry. The cows really confounded me. I got two in, 13 and Black, but Brown eluded me long enough for the other two to escape. They choose freedom in the stead of grain...anyways, I let them cool down a while whilst me and Napoleon brain-stormed a strategy. He may be short, but you know what they say: The shorter you are, the harder you fall.


So I said a prayer, and then I came up with the idea of using the Truck (1989 Ford F150) to extend their gate. So they had a 22 foot gate to deal with, instead of the 6 foot gate, and there was no getting around that. Because, well, I had a 10-foot pitchfork and time to react.

They're all back in now, it was raining for the last hour of the work. I am still cold, and it has been two hours. I am shivering, in fact. It was raining gooed.

I think the Truck appreciated the rain. Less turkeys means less feeding. Goodness, I do so hope that I don't accidentally forget to lock the Chicken pen. Oh me, oh my. That would be 'horrible'.

Did I lock it yesterday? Omeomi.

Making slight progress on backstory of TA. I must scribble a timeline on my wall. make a timeline in-general.


Song of the day is Phenomenon. By TobyMac. I think I'm gonna rip all the CDs to my laptop tonight, then make a sort of playlist tomorrow. I'll get to hear The Slam right after What If...


You know what I like? I like the idea of 700 MBs of a game on a CD. It's just so ...uhh...well, I like Red Alert 2, alright? And that doesn't mean I'm gay!


DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO! OH MY GOSH SPACE PIRATES! RUN LIKE YOU'RE A DISEASE-RIDDEN, LEGLESS ZOMBIE!


...do the Bad-guy Bunga!
yeah!

Pecan Pie

This is how you make a pecan pie. It's delicious, nutritious, and...well, fine, the only good thing for you are the pecans. I think...b-, but still, it tastes great. Especially chilled. Only chilled, I don't get people who eat pecan pie hot/warm. That creeps me out. It's like eating poultry raw.

Pecan is my favorite kind of pie. Lemon Meringue is the only kind of pie that comes close. While they're both almost equally good, Lemon Meringue pies just don't last long enough in the fridge, and thus the effort that goes into making them feels somewhat wasted (taking into account that pecan pies last a loong time in the fridge). I made a Lemon Meringue pie for my Aunt Desnee once, and she loved it. I hated it. I loved that pie. But some things in life you hate.




Recipe from The Joy of Cooking; I am unsure of tome number or version or what not.

OK, first thing to do is to gather your ingredients.
You'll need:

3 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup melted butter
1 cup light corn syrup


1 cup pecan halves
1 teaspoon vanilla

They say hello.

Preheat oven to 450°

Make your pie crust (or get it out of the freezer if you've bought it) and blind-bake it for 5-7 minutes. Reduce heat to 375°. Remove from oven and allow to cool, or you'll turn into a pancake.


The next step is to melt the 1/3 cup butter. You can do this in a pan, or you can do it like I do: put it in a ziptop bag then set in hot water for a bit. Chocolate melts great this way, too, if you're not worried about temper. I only melted it a little, because melted butter makes me feel bad. On the inside. :(

The caption says "mELt!!!"




Add the butter, three eggs, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and the 1 cup of corn syrup and stir to the desires of your heart. By the way, if you don't have a kitchen scale, you should get one. They're very handy. Here, instead of dirtying a measuring cup, I tared the bowl and added the corn syrup. However...I am unsure if 8 ounces of corn syrup is a cup, so don't take my word for it. I'm pretty sure.

I do know that a cup of flour is 4.75 ounces, and a cup of nuts is 4 ounces. It makes you feel good learning these things.



Then you stir in the pecans and vanilla (NOTE: when making several pies, put the pecans in the pie crusts, as it's hard to determine half when they're in that murky custard). Just so you know, that's the pastry bowl (the great glass bowl you see).
Anytime I make small enough batches, I use this bowl. It's just, it's my friend. I use the beaters because I think it's cool using mixer beaters to mix by hand. This bowl, and this mixer, have made some really great angel slices.

More on angel slices/cookies/bars later. Yes.


If you like caramelized sugar, like I do, then cut some slices in the crust. Just make a few slits, about an inch long, in the crust. It's hard to explain what it is, so try one small cut if you like. The filling leaks out of the crust into the pan and crystallizes. The texture it adds! Wow. Update: see post Pecan pie, my sweet -- Thanksgiving post #7 for picture of crystallized sugar.

Anyway, pour the filling into the shell. I had extra left over because I added another quarter cup of pecans. It may or may not be necessary if you're baking a smaller pie.



















Bake for 40-55 minutes at 375° or until a knife inserted into the middle comes out clean. You can also jiggle the pie side to side to check (it should jiggle a little). "Transparent" pie. Those freaks.

You can see that the pie made a balloon type top. I'm not sure what causes it. I'm also not sure if it causes problems.

I think it's best chilled. They have lasted me over a month in the fridge, in the coldest part, but I don't recommend that. There's like, nothing that goes rotten in them...crazy.


<---Set your timer. The last step is to get those dishes soaking.--->

If you're wondering why it looks like the counter's burned, well, it is. Let's just say that there was a cast iron skillet and a burner involved.




Apparently you'll have a bourbon pie if you omit the nuts and vanilla and add 3 tablespoons of bourbon whiskey. Black walnuts could be substituted for pecans.

Next up is either sugar cookies or chocolate chip cookies. Yes, desserts are the only things that are beautiful enough to take the time and photograph whilst cooking. I made the cookies for a 'family' 'gathering.'

It's been a long week

It's been about a week, right? Uhh, it counts as a 'long' week because it's been eight days. Yay. You see, that makes the title both witty and true!

It's a long post, a weeks worth, plus babbling.

To start off, about five days ago I ordered some CDs. I ordered 'Go', 'Adoration: The Worship Album', 'Going Public', and 'Devotion', all by by Newsboys. And I got 'Welcome to Diverse City' by Tobymac.
My mom got 'Brave' by Nichole Nordeman.

So far, they're all here except Go. The one I want most. Hah...anyways, Welcome to Diverse City seems to be our favorite, and the others aren't really ranking yet, as we have only listened to one or two songs. We got them off of Half.com, so the total for all six was like $45. Smooth.




I've neglected to mention this, but my Dad is in jail. Pwnt huh? It was for DUI 10 or 11 years ago. He got out on probation, then comitted probation violation...he's been on the Lamb since. Haha! Get it?! It was a pun! On the Lamb! Get it?...okay. So he quit drinking shortly after. One day he was listening to a station he never listened to. They talked about an Arizona Safe Surrender. Basically, they have you come in, give you a false sense of security, then beat you down the next day. Basically.

He then swithed the station to another he never listens to- K-love. 105.5 to be exact. They're positive and encouraging (or else)...and he was promptly bombarded with songs like "You will lead, I will follow," "I'll Trust You, Lord," "Take the leap of Faith," "Don't worry about tomorrow." His words: "I was like: Alright, I get it already!"

So, the following Monday, he turned himself in. We didn't expect the arrest. It just never occured to us. God blinded us. I liken it to being blindfolded, then shoved off a cliff. Backwards. And there is a freeway at the bottom of the cliff you're falling into. With nothing but 18-wheelers on it. Going really fast.

We got a real tough judge. A Woman judge.

Now, if there's one thing I've learned from Samus Aran, it's that woman can be unrealistically destructive. So I had no doubt whenever I heard the rumors of the judge. "Oh, one time, she sentenced someone to death for running to try and catch a bus. In china. So just imagine what she can do in her own country and state!"

My mom woke up at 12:30 AM and hired a Lawyer. God must have told her to, because we got like, their best lawyer. It costed $2,500. She was a woman lawyer too. Samus also taught me that women can convince things to do things by pure, raw force. You know, like die.

Speaking of Ms. Aran. Oh baby. /drool

Just incase you're scared, which I might be in a case such as this, it's just a statue. A suited statue. I reiterate, oh baby.

I can't believe the $99 price tag seems low...Ah, curses! Where would I even put it. Pff, we all know. Right next to my dead 'cube. I would make a trophy case.

So the lawyer needed stuff, character witnesses, stuff like that, etcetera, on and on blah blah I won't bore you with the details. They wanted to give him 2.5 years, I think. He got three months and three years probation. God really blessed us with that sentence. He's currently a month into his sentence. My mom has a counter on her blog. 58 days to go!

To make things even better, he's out on Work Furlough right now. That means he gets to work a job but has to go back to the jail every day. We can have lunch with him if we play our cards right. That makes things easier, plus he can use my cellphone, and we won't have to pay the outrageous $500 phone bills. That's right, our phone bill was over $500. Jails' phones are mean to wallets...Praise God we could afford to stuff them on the credit card until we can make up the cash. It woulda sucked not being able to talk to him.

So anyways, we went on a few trips into the big city this week. We were helping my dad look for a job. It was kinda boring, but it was worth it to spend a few hours with him. Lots of waiting in the car, though. I've been thinking of getting a DS Lite recently, but I'm not sure. That woulda been the perfect opportunity to 'rent' one from 'Walmart' and 'test it out.' I guess New Super Mario Brothers would have been the game of choice. Rumors are the DS is as much fun as the Wii. I am a scoffer.


I'm listening to Newsboys' album Going Public. I wish my mom didn't have Adoration and Shine with her in the car. Curses!!!




So, there's something else I've not revealed yet on the blog. I really like blogging. Not just blogging, but computer stuff in general. I mean, typing, creating. You know what I mean...it helps me to express my artistic side, I guess. Plus, I don't have any friends that play videogames, and I make a point of not talking to people online. More on that much later.

Also, I want to do Flash animations. Ever since I first saw a Flash animation, and it was probably, oh, let's see...I don't know, back in '02. I thought Flash was some real crazy thing that only the elite could do. Then recently I expressed my dream of doing Flash animations to my mom and she gave me a copy of Flash.

I'm not entirely sure if this is a good version of Flash I'm using. I think I need one higher for it to be of any use, and preferably I'd want to get one of the newer versions...I should start saving, right? It's Flash MX 2003. I think I want a version of Professional...couldn't cost too much.

Man, that drawing of FN is dead-on for how she looks. I don't know how I managed that. Eyebrows a little smaller, and it'll be perfect. And better hair. That works for the first draft though. Ownage.
I got a name for her, by the way. Nessa; it means "Miracle" in hebrew. Before I knew it meant that I was strongly considering it, then I found out and it sealed the deal. Others are Jamie and Dan. She'll mostly be called "Ness" 'cause Nessa is too long. You'll find out more later maybe. I'm real greedy with my secrets and plots though. Should she be a jew? I don't think so. Then she would own too much. Then again.

I'm somewhat obsessed with this Flash idea. TA, for "Team A...something." They don't know, as their superior won't tell them. I can spend hours a day thinking up scenarios to throw them into. I don't plan to start production for at least a year. At least. I need to make a rough draft thing, then work on the script, and I'm planning to get books on Anatomy.


......you know, like Action Anatomy: For Gamers, Animators, and Digital Artists and Animal Drawing: Anatomy and Action for Artists. The animal drawing is so that I can hopefully gleam some idea of how to draw the heavies in the Flash. The Action Anatomy is so that, well, have you ever seen a chick jumping around beating people senseless? Of course-- we've all watched Kim Possible. How does she do it? Well, she throws people. Somehow...she manages to...some...how...well, anything's possible when you're a Possible, right?

I think I have an idea for how Ness will be throwing things and people and taking punches and jumping real high. And it isn't years of being a cheerleader...but it's very important to understand how people move, and have a reference. I hope the book works out. Can you believe I have to invent a monster? I am going to be accused of copying Space Pirates, but in reality I'm copying the Mantids. Pwnt. The monster is original though...I guess......

Another book is Acting for Animators. I assume it teaches you how to act...or how people act. I need to know how to make slight gestures, as that will sometimes be Ness' main form of communication. You know how that girl in Monster House looked at that one dude when he discovered the house was a girl house? That sort of stuff. I haven't ordered any of these books yet, as I'm waiting on 'renting' a DS Lite (I may decide a DS isn't for me, not likely). Acting for Animators is tops on my list though.

So anyways, I'm really looking forward to learning to draw. Almost obsessively. But to draw I need a desk, and a tablet (for mountains, some hair, rough drafts of stuff, hand-drawn stuff, oh you get the idea), a mouse and, most importantly, a chair.


If I love all this stuff so much, why don't I do it, is the question. Well, the thing is, my legs hurt me when I sit down. Sometimes they don't, but oft-times they do. It makes it impossible to concentrate, and I can't really sit. This has been going on for 1-2 years, and it's what caused me to get this laptop. I can drive just fine though, for some reason. Hmm.

To draw, you can't use a laptop's touchpad (although I drew Nessa's face and the forest background and the checkerboard with it- it was a pain). You need at least a mouse, and if you wanna be any good a tablet for mountains and trees and stuff. To use a mouse or tablet, you need a desk, right? And a desk means you have to sit at the desk. Thus is my problem.

It was fine until recently, it started acting up again. Not only that, but the Wii is best played sitting upright, right?

So I can't really play the Wii right. Infact, alot of games are deminished in fun severely because I can't sit up if I want to (at least not for long). And typing is harder because, well, you're supposed to sit at a desk for maximum comfort.

If I can't play the Wii comfortably, well, that means I won't be able to play Metroid Prime 3 comfortably, and that isn't going to fly, Napolean, just like your idea for the rocket sword.

My mom has been trying to convince me I should see a doctor for a while...I was of course skeptical. My skepticism proved correct, as the doctor had to send me to another doctor, a dermatologist, in Phoenix. Okay, mostly proved correct.

It was a...you guessed it, a woman doctor. I don't fear women. I would say it's more of a healthy respect, such as fire. I'm haunted by them, though. If I had a poltergeist in my house, it would be a chick poltergeist. If I ever get hit by a car, it will have been driven by a chick. Believe it.

So she thinks she's identified the cause. It's some sort of skin disease. She says it's somewhat common, and once you have it, you have it. It causes inflammation of the legs, and that's what is causing the pain. She also says that it acts up this time of year. She needed to take skin samples to confirm it though.


Yeah, gonna scrape some skin off, right? Hehe, Doc, stop looking at me like that. Heh. Stop it. "Listen, Kev, we've gonna need to take a 4 mm round out of your flesh. Two of them." What?! I didn't sign up for this! NOO! MOMMY! DON'T SIGN THE PAPERS! NOOOOOOOOO!

So she went out of the room, then an assistant came in with two needles, alcohol, scissors, tweezers (BIG ONES!), another pair of scissors, several blood-absorbing napkins, two bottles of some sort of fluid that preserves flesh, and a bit.

She told me to bite down hard and it'll help the pain. Now I need to see a dentist. Haha! Get it? A bit?

So she shot me up with some tranquilizers, and before I knew it I had some maaad blurred vision, and every time I would breath I would hear it echo. That's another joke. You know, like when, in Perfect Dark, you get shot with a tranquilizer gun and it makes your screen blurry. It's a joke. Like the part about the bit.

Then, and I didn't watch, she took two rounds out of my flesh. A quarter inch deep. See, no-one told me that. And 4mm is, apparently, 1/8th of an inch around. Ouch. Afterwards, I was in stitches! AHAHHAHAHahh1!11
Oh boy, whew. *wipes tear from eye*

Seriously though, they gave me a stitch in each hole. It looks so creepy, all red and inflamish and black thread looking like a bug of some sort. I accused her of implanting me with a bug, it looks so much like antennae. I feel so creeped out by having been sewed up. Invasive, minor surgery is what it is! She then put tape over the stiching. It is falling off, so I asked my Mom to pick some up for me. Until then, I have to pile as many germs as I can into it. Wish me luck.

The results will be back in ten days, and I'm scheduled to see her again in two weeks. If it is in fact what she thought (roughly, a form of psoriasis), it should be as simple as treating it to stop the inflammation. You have to take the meds forever, though. We'll see about that.

But if that's the case, I'll be able to finally work on my drawing skills. It seems simple. I mean, look at how great Nessa's face turned out, and that was when I barely knew anything about drawing, except that eyes are bigger for girls, and left and right eyes/eyebrows/ears usually look the exact same. I need a book on drawing hair. I bet a book like The Complete Idiot's Guide to Drawing Manga, Illustrated would do nicely.

Man, 'Elle G.' by Newsboys is sad...tear sad, not 'lame-attempt' sad. Note: Any songs like "Sarah," named after someone are usually going to be real sad and involve a suicide or two. Ohh, man, this song is going to be PERFECT for one scene in TA. And I mean it. Absolutely perfect. But I won't ruin it for you, or me.
"Silence all, Nobody breathe." Aww-yeah, that's what I, personally, call fitting a song to a scene. Except it's 5 minutes long. I can do a five-minute scene though. Horribly rushed...or desperately long. Then again, time goes by faster than it seems it does, and I can do slow-motion, or just have all the cops get slaughtered.

...then again, I think I've pretty much ruled out the possibilities of Ness being a...ah...I'm certain there's a word for it. It's when you're addicted to killing. I don't think she will be. At first, she wasn't going to kill at all, but there's no functionality in that. I think, just not "ruthless" killing.

Like Superman. He's useless. Can't do anything because he's afraid of killing people--what it boils down to, is that he is 'killing' anyone who is killed by someone he should have killed. Right? Right.

I just don't know yet if the scene will be as sad as I'm thinking it will be. It'll all depend on the VA (Voice Actor)'s ability to relay sorrow and fear to the ears of listening viewers. And how sad it can be without being an overreaction.

I'm kind of stressed out about the whole idea, too. It's alot to do for absolutely no payoff. Except for chasing my dream.

...That's kind of a nice payoff, though.


Song of the day is "TruDog, The Return." By TobyMac. Simply because the ending is so damn cute. "Yay!"



Oh, also, I got to meet two prostitutes. And I got to see a drug deal go down, and almost got dealt some dope myself. All whilst my Mom was conducting some 'business' inside a shady, stucco'd house that belongs to a "Mr. Gonzales."

The creepiest thing was that, well, that was the only time I've ever smelled perfume that didn't smell like complete crap. That's well, that's creepy, right?

Goodnight. I'uh sha-yall howie homies make peekin pighs up'n hee' tmarrah dahyawg. I mean, 'I'll show you how to make a Pecan Pie tomorrow.' Sorry.

Pray with me tonight.

Let us pray to our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Spotless Lamb of G-d.


Lord, we know that we can come to You in our times of trial. Our times of tribulation. When we are desperate and sad; when all hope seems lost. We can come to You in times of great joy, and You rejoice with us.

We know that You always Will what is best for us, even if at the time we do not agree. We must take what is happening in faith, and believe that You will guide us to the end. We must on occasion step out of the way and let You weave a path in front of us into this tapestry of life we are cursed to endure, even as You lessen our load and light our way.

We know that You are almighty, merciful, and kind. You are with us at all hours, at all times, no matter how good or how bad. You hear us and consider our wishes as we leave our requests at the foot of Your throne, even though it may not be the best for us.

To think that such a Mighty G-d as Yourself, would desire our love and faith is beyond our comprehension. We were mere stains on the carpet of history, but through You we are lifted up unto eternal life as we inherit Your Kingdom.

Your love for us is everlasting and all-encompassing. You proved this love for us by sacrificing Your Son, Jesus Christ, the Spotless Lamb of G-d, the Son of the Almighty, on the Cross, that through his death, burial and resurrection, we might be cleansed- made righteous in Your eyes; saved through His blood.


Lord, we come to You with heavy hearts, full of a sad happiness of sorts. We know that the hour soon approaches, yet we know not when. We know that this is the last of the trilogy, and it pains us to consider it will end. Further, it pains us to consider what could be next.

Lord, it will be over soon. We know it. Oh, but our hearts, our hearts, they are saddened by the mere thought of it. To consider the end is...almost too much to bear.

Yes, unlike the Matrix Trilogy, we do not wish for the Prime Trilogy to end. It's frightening, and it seems unnatural. Please bless our hearts, and keep them, and help us to accept that this is the last installment of the Prime Trilogy.

Oh, Lord, please bless those at Retro Studios, and others working on this game, giving their time and energy. Please guide them in their efforts, and if it is Your will, Lord, please may they not mess up too badly.

And Lord, if they have included voice acting, may Samus' VA be good, well paid, and even then, may her parts be few. May the game be expansive and immersive, and please may it retain the atmosphere of aloneness, even in the midst of a galactic war of sorts.

Lord, may we be able to pilot her Gunship, and may the controls and physics work well. Please may the game release before my birthday, if it is within Your Will. May the graphics be at the peak of the Wii's capabilities, and the controls the best they can possibly be. May the Wiimote be responsive with none of the sad cursor lag we see in some games' physics.

Lastly, Lord, we thank You for hearing our wishes. We thank You for even considering them. Please, according to Your will, bless the finishing of this game. May the process be quick and streamlined, so that they may focus their concerted efforts on finding faults and perfecting them. Please keep our hearts and help us to cope.


Thank you.

Goodnight.

Superman Returns

Ordered Superman Returns tonight on DirecTV.

It was a good movie, and I recommend renting it. It tried to be too much like Spiderman, and got a bit too religious.

Such as calling Supes a "savior," rather than a hero, which he is. 'Savior' is just way too technical. Then him falling with his arms out, like on a cross. That was just creepy. And I usually don't go for the psychotic-religious-nitpick-right-wing movie reviewer's gossip. I really wonder if some of them are like Binny Hinn (he's a real jerk, right?) sometimes. Some of their points are valid. About half I think.

As for trying to be like Spiderman, there's a scene in which Supes is growing up, and he's apparently just discovering his powers. He runs. Then jumps whilst running. Oh, where do I remember this from? Oh, wow, look at how he jumped, then landed awkwardly. Hmm. Well, this is definitely original scenage here!

Then Aunt Ma--uhh, his mom. His Uncl Be--uhm, adoptive dad, died. Sorry there. And he works at the Daily Planet. He is too much like Spiderman for them to be making lameass "discovering powers" scenes that look and feel just like Spiderman's (though not as good). I hope they didn't do it on purpose.

There were very nice special effects. They did good on those. Really good.

No awesome fight scenes is what held this movie back. Superman did do a pretty good job of saving people, maybe that is the grandest fight scene of all. And lifting 200 quintillion tons. And, if I'm not mistaken, HIS POWER LEVEL IS OVER 9,000!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Man, that doesn't belong here. Too bad I already entered it. I wonder if anyone will get it...oh well.

Clark Kent was perfect. OH MY GOD THEY ALMOST CHOOSE NICHOLAS CAGE! I uhh, really, really don't like Nicholas Cage. The decision went like this.

Guy1: Hey, we either use this dude here, or Nicholas Cage.
Boss: DAMNIT, WE WANT A STRAIGHT SUPERMAN, NOT A GAY, DEPRESSED ONE! GET CAGE OUT OF HERE! HE'S CRAMPING OUR STYLE! FIRE HIM FROM A CANNON!

Lois Lane wasn't too great...I think she was too cute, and less hot. She didn't call Clark 'Smallville' once! I loved it when she called him smallville on the animated series. Also, she seemed too sweet. Not enough of a bitch. Oh well, this is the Movie Version Lois Lane apparently.

Jimmy Olsen completely owned...they mismanaged Lex Luthor a bit. He had no empire. Just a few henchmen, and he did everything himself basically...made him seem weak. I liked the crazy giant machines he made in the cartoon. Man, that woulda owned! Seeing those things attack the city. He COULD come back with an empire in the next Superman. That'd be lame though.


Best thing about the movie: No sex. They did good.

The movie slightly lost its suspense halfway through. I mean, you already have it figured out (it's real simple)...then you have to watch it unfold. My #1 complaint- I wanted ONE person to be melted:

One of my favorite things on Goldeneye/TWINE for '64 was using the wrist laser, attacking guards and droning "Meeeeeelt!". MAN I loved that! Geez Activision give up the VC goods. Ninty will pay you cash. You know it, dawg.


So anyways, it's worth watching once but I'm not bothering to tape it. I do, however, want to watch Jack the Bear with a six-pack (bottles) of Root Beer and some Burger King. I must plan for that.

Ending thought: damn Nazi's.

Goodnight, it's too late.

Call of Duty III

Tonight, at 6:40 or so PM, I finished Call of Duty for the Wii. Call of Duty III = CoDIII, CoD3 or CoD. My second Wii game finished.


It was a fun game, because it's a shooter on Wii. The enemy AI is fun, although your allies are fresh out of the Idiots Center for Idiot Idiots. The enemies sometimes take like 4 seconds to react to your presence. Their average is 2 seconds- they'll be late...I played on Normal, so maybe that's why. That reminds me of that story I heard, of this chick that played some MMORPG as a naked character. She'd walk into an area, and people'd hesitate like, "Woah, that chick's naked!" and she kills them while they're distracted. How evil.


The game sucks up until the Sarge dies. He was a real bastard, glad to see him die. It really picked up then. Allies started to seem like allies, not enemies, and the urge to throw grenades at your teammates subsided. Coolness.



The controls/gameplay are pretty great, as you should expect. It's alot of fun aiming with the Wiimote, and in later levels when you're better you will be amazed at how fast you can shoot- I've never been a pro at aiming with normal controllers so I can't say how much faster. It actually feels like you're running when you duck for cover. Turning with the Wiimote, you know. Goes from aiming to turning to run without skipping half a beat. Great fun.

Health works, uhh, as if by shield...you get shot 5 times close up, the borders of your screen turn red, and you breath heavily. Hide and you will regenerate quickish. If you can't find cover, you die within a few more shots. No health packs or anything. Hitting and running works well, obviously.

A bad thing, Grenades have no power behind them. Didn't grenades have explosives in them back then? You can't throw them hard or soft- just real, real hard. They often bounce off of walls, down staircases and roll to your feet...which is fine as, like I said, they have no power. Ohh, burn. You also have smoke grenades, which work wonders.

The Aim Down the Sight mode (slight zoom and gun stabilization at cost of moving slower), entered by holding A, is like holding a gun up on your shoulder to your eye. Hence, Aim Down the Sight. You see the barrel and stuff. Anyways, the sights at the end suck. You have to go to extreme measures to learn where the bullet will go, and mostly it's just luck with far-off enemies, sorry to say. Need a better crosshair next time- sniping is fine; can't quite put my finger on it but something may be missing. Hmm.

As we all expected from the Wii's control scheme, it's very natural to just aim and shoot. It's the kind of game I'll be coming back to a year from now just to shoot things. Reloading is great, Nunchuk up then back down, and weapons change is side to side. I realized how naturally the game has me making these movements, more so than a controller. Nunchuk up, down. Right left. Aim, shoot. Nunchuk up, down. It's like you're actually DOING something to make things happen. Also, helping to steady the Wiimote with your other hand is pretty cool. Because, well, it steadies the gun. Neatness.

The Tank's control is awesome. The barrel moves tons slower than the Wiimote pointer, so you have to wait for the barrel to catch up which is, strangely, ALOT of fun. 'least for me. My biggest problem with the Tank, and vehicles in-general, is the lack of sound. Weird. No rolling tracks, no crushed enemies...weird.

Where the game really sucks is in the story area-it is extremely hard to follow. Which is bad, because this game basically revolves around story, as it's scripted (and very obviously so). It is impossible to follow, at least on the first playthrough. You can't hear your teammates, 80% of the time just undiscernable muffled voices, so you have to use subtitles. Which go by too fast alot of the times. I'd say it's two notches below Ultraviolet's level of, ah, plotless...ness. "Shoot!" is all they probably really say anyways. And it works. Just show up and shoot things, mission accomplished!


...speaking of going by too fast, there are alot of anti-war quotes in the game. Every time you die you see one. They only stay on-screen for the time it takes you to read them, then you're back in the game. This is a sort of subliminal message. By the time you've read it, you have to concentrate on something else. Then the message stays in the back of your head. They FAIL for trying to brainwash me. Damned hippies.

The game is at Freedom Fighter's level with me. An average shooter which is fun. I haven't played previous CoD's, but I do think from the reviews of them I've read that this one fits in with them. Average. If I am correct, it will become subpar once better shooters come out.

I suppose I rate games based on what they could have been, and how easily they could have been that. This game is horrible at doing what it could have done, sadly. Melee, driving, sights. Worth buying off of eBay just to have it. For me, not worth $50.

My room smells like a Pine tree.

Creepy, huh? No air fresheners around. No uhh, pine trees around. No air fresheners around. No new cars...no fruit bats, either, sadly.

I do have Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door in the Wii, though. Maybe that's what's causing it. Instead of smelling like 360/PS3's burnt plastic for weeks, the Wii smells like pine trees. Nintendo is awesome.

Wii. "My Wii smells like a Pine tree." Although it is a good name I guess, as each i is a person, and there are two i's, which means that it resembles two people sitting side-by-side, beating eachother over the head with their Wiimotes (whatever happened to the 3' spacing!). Also, it's easy to remember, like the FagPod. I mean iFag. I mean iPod. Yeah, that one.

Names like that make people buy stuff. It's the small i, if you must know. It makes people feel smart, because most retards don't even know how to spell grammar, let alone use it. Sony and Microsoft haven't caught on yet...I mean, how else could Apple sell a POS like that that can store only like 2 songs and they have to be .JPG format? Loooosers.

Yes, Sony's next system is going to be called iStationPlayPodiiiii. I'd buy that, dog. Also, Microsoft's next system is the wtflol, weird name for a system huh? Hell, I'd buy that over iSPP5xi. Or more popularly "eye-espea-fifty-x-eye." 'Halo iiiilol', and the deluxe version 'Halo iiiiLOL'. They're going to own the next next next generation.

Obviously I'm joking about the iSPP5xi. And the iPod being able to store only two songs.


===========


Doctor says I am mostly fine, as long as I 'lay off the booze and hard partying.' And for some strange reason, he says to make sure I breath air. I told him, "what else would I breath?" and he said "I don't know what the **** you bastard kids drink (wtf?) nowadays. Just don't breath any of that damned space air, you lousy ******. Get the **** out of my damned office."

...I need a new doctor.


===========


Also, my Brother is on a crusade to get me to stop being cruel to animals. I had to spit water at my cat, Precious, to keep her from knocking over the stack of 27 Gamecube games, on top of the dresser, into the fiery depths of the floor of my room, and harming herself in the process, he's been pissed off. You shoulda heard him. "IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR PUTTING THEM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Completely out of character. So, I got on my thinking cap, and

You know what they say, "Anger doesn't come first." Well, my Mom said that. Maybe she will comment and correct the saying. But you have to have a reason for being angry, go through stages of upset, unhappy, annoyed, on and on till angry. His reason to exploding at me is his frustration in trying to get to the next area.

He is trying to take the blimp, when he needs to go into the sewers. He just called me a stupid clown because I told him where to go next...poor guy. I've seen it before. Zelda madness. Don't know where to go next, start snapping at people and, if possible, hurting things.

Maybe it isn't the sewers...Oh, boy, he just went into the cave of 100 trials thing. He's gonna be pissed by the time he gets to level 10's escape pipe. Level three got an "Oh, man." Bad guy after bad guy. Poor foo'. Oh yeah, Quake Hammer will do you alot of WASTED FLOWER POINTS STUPID IDIOT!

He just warped to level ten. Thirty coins, isn't it? "No no no! Over there's the escape pipe, Matt." (warp warp warp to safety) Matt: "I'm freee."

ROFL, is he for real? The fool went right back in! Oh, man, that's great. He went back in with meaning, too.

=============

Metroid Prime 3 is apparently scheduled to come out in Q2 2007. If it's delayed into Q3, I'm fine, but Q4 most likely means I'm screwed for a birthday run. If it does come out in Q2, I'll have to wait like 4 months to play it. That sounds like it'd suck. Like, really.

The Samus/Metroid tag is replacing the MP tag. Seeing's how she's going to be in Brawl, and other stuff. Lets cross our fingers for Samus Aran Golf.

Time to end this post. Goodnight.


Oh. Wait.

For the record, Flurrie is a whore.

In Other News...

SD Cards and thumbdrives on sale FTW!

Tigerdirect.com has 1 GB SD cards, and 1 GB Flash drives for $5 and shipping each. They had a 2 GB SD card for sale on December 31st, and I ordered one. It was a total of, I think, $20. We've needed one, though.

I'm pretty sure it's limit 1. We'll be getting one of each...I didn't even know 150x existed.



Oh my gosh! Kev is going to the doctor?!

That's right. I'm heading to the doctor tomorrow. I'm pretty sure it's a broken finger. It happened a month ago when half of the end digit on my right-side middle finger got caught on a goat collar. Snap. According to my mom, who is wrong about everything, it's just a spraine.


Chicago style CRAP.

There's an authentic chicago-style pizza place in a town near us. Called Rosati's. We got a pizza from them about 10 days ago, and it was great. Got another one today. The one from before, they put sauce, toppings, cheese. This one was done the stock way, cheese, toppings, sauce.

It tasted horrible. It left a worse taste in my mouth than Call of Duty III (review to come later, in three words: Don't Buy It.) A few bites had such overpowering herb flavor that it tasted like mold. The bad kind of mold.

So, lessons learned: People from Chicago like sewage. And get your pizza with the cheese over the sauce.



Song of the Day, even if it's just a looping melody, is Midna's Desperate Hour. It's awesome, and it's a tune from LoZ: Twilight Princess, and it will have no meaning if you haven't played the game. If you have, it'll bring up memories of, well, desperation. I might mix my own videogame soundtrack:

"Doo doo do do doo doo doo doo! OH MY GOSH SPACE PIRATES ARE GONNA KILL US ALL!" followed by the underwater theme in Super Mario World and the thing from Mario Bros. 3, the end level with the logs and cannons...although, when do you listen to videogame music? It'd be worthless, and would quickly diminish nostalgia in the songs. Speaking of which, at an appropriate time, I need to play LoZ: OoT.

Anyways, goodnight. Big day tomorrow.

It's at times like these...

...that I wonder how Samus' power suit manages her body temperature. Let's say it has some kind of a solid lining, that's probably right next to her skin, seeing as how it's a second skin. Like a glove. Gloves with air in them don't allow you to pick things up without losing health.

So, do you think it's a set temperature in that suit, or do you think it fluctuates?

I doubt you would want to sweat in a thing like that, as that would be like sweating in a cannon. Did you know that one ounce of sweat inside a cannon is enough to doom 300 Daring Young Men?

Then again, it's almost unavoidable to sweat when you're fighting some crazed beasts like Space Pirates. So is it cloth? It's an energy suit. She has the flightsuit on underneath it...then it depends on what the flightsuit is made of.

Even then, would it be like a flesh-on-cold-metal feeling? What kind of crazy stuff can those damned Chozo come up with?

Obviously, it couldn't just heat up to whatever temperature her skin is, or she'd die from heat exhaustion. Is it even possible to cool down the body enough that you can avoid overheating
with a system like that?

It's apparent it somehow works.

I just don't know how.


Goodnight.

----
For the record, Zero Suit Samus is either going to be a sacrilege, or going to own. Like Zelda/Sheik.