Crushing Cans

Yeah! Time to show how I crush cans. Ever heard of a can crusher? It's a dandy machination. Very neat, very efficient. We don't have one.

So I do it by hand. And while awaiting contact information from the Californian Saints (business to conduct, you understand), there's nothing better to do. Well, there is...but, um, for the sake of this sentence, let's say there's not. Here we go!

First, select your can. You might think this is a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised. The pictures look a bit stretched...that's um...by design. It's called stretch-fey, isn't it decorative?

Now, crush the can one way- but not too much...

Now the other way, again, not too much...these things are known for their violent, unexpected explosions that have no fathomable cause.


Now gently crush in the strong portions. What you're doing is weakening the structure...but don't weaken it too much! Or boom...it's gone Palo Verde Nuclear Generating Station on you.

After you weaken it, give it a crush like in the above picture. The point of this is to center it for a clean, single-file crushed end-result. You can cut yourself badly in can crushing, especially if you don't prepare it properly, so be careful. (There's your disclaimer.)

There, all prepared. Note: I crushed two cans, so the pictures are from two separate cans. It should be OK.

Now comes the fun/dangerous part. Grab it good...

Like that... then give it a crush.

Like that. And you're done! These results were mostly sub par, as I am currently injured in the right hand. Remember when I buried the Harvest Plate a few days ago? Well, digging always gives me a blister in the palm of my hand...the blister popped. I had to remove the first layer of skin. The remaining skin dried out.

Then it cracked! Ouch! Worser still...

It cracked again. It hurts very badly to crush cans in this condition...but what else am I to do while awaiting word from Yon Riding Horseman Email Server? Nothing, that's what.

Now, get yourself a pile like this:


And then you can feel like a supreme glacial predator, Sheegoth-style. OK, not Sheegoth-style. I'm sorry.