Superman Returns

Ordered Superman Returns tonight on DirecTV.

It was a good movie, and I recommend renting it. It tried to be too much like Spiderman, and got a bit too religious.

Such as calling Supes a "savior," rather than a hero, which he is. 'Savior' is just way too technical. Then him falling with his arms out, like on a cross. That was just creepy. And I usually don't go for the psychotic-religious-nitpick-right-wing movie reviewer's gossip. I really wonder if some of them are like Binny Hinn (he's a real jerk, right?) sometimes. Some of their points are valid. About half I think.

As for trying to be like Spiderman, there's a scene in which Supes is growing up, and he's apparently just discovering his powers. He runs. Then jumps whilst running. Oh, where do I remember this from? Oh, wow, look at how he jumped, then landed awkwardly. Hmm. Well, this is definitely original scenage here!

Then Aunt Ma--uhh, his mom. His Uncl Be--uhm, adoptive dad, died. Sorry there. And he works at the Daily Planet. He is too much like Spiderman for them to be making lameass "discovering powers" scenes that look and feel just like Spiderman's (though not as good). I hope they didn't do it on purpose.

There were very nice special effects. They did good on those. Really good.

No awesome fight scenes is what held this movie back. Superman did do a pretty good job of saving people, maybe that is the grandest fight scene of all. And lifting 200 quintillion tons. And, if I'm not mistaken, HIS POWER LEVEL IS OVER 9,000!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Man, that doesn't belong here. Too bad I already entered it. I wonder if anyone will get it...oh well.

Clark Kent was perfect. OH MY GOD THEY ALMOST CHOOSE NICHOLAS CAGE! I uhh, really, really don't like Nicholas Cage. The decision went like this.

Guy1: Hey, we either use this dude here, or Nicholas Cage.
Boss: DAMNIT, WE WANT A STRAIGHT SUPERMAN, NOT A GAY, DEPRESSED ONE! GET CAGE OUT OF HERE! HE'S CRAMPING OUR STYLE! FIRE HIM FROM A CANNON!

Lois Lane wasn't too great...I think she was too cute, and less hot. She didn't call Clark 'Smallville' once! I loved it when she called him smallville on the animated series. Also, she seemed too sweet. Not enough of a bitch. Oh well, this is the Movie Version Lois Lane apparently.

Jimmy Olsen completely owned...they mismanaged Lex Luthor a bit. He had no empire. Just a few henchmen, and he did everything himself basically...made him seem weak. I liked the crazy giant machines he made in the cartoon. Man, that woulda owned! Seeing those things attack the city. He COULD come back with an empire in the next Superman. That'd be lame though.


Best thing about the movie: No sex. They did good.

The movie slightly lost its suspense halfway through. I mean, you already have it figured out (it's real simple)...then you have to watch it unfold. My #1 complaint- I wanted ONE person to be melted:

One of my favorite things on Goldeneye/TWINE for '64 was using the wrist laser, attacking guards and droning "Meeeeeelt!". MAN I loved that! Geez Activision give up the VC goods. Ninty will pay you cash. You know it, dawg.


So anyways, it's worth watching once but I'm not bothering to tape it. I do, however, want to watch Jack the Bear with a six-pack (bottles) of Root Beer and some Burger King. I must plan for that.

Ending thought: damn Nazi's.

Goodnight, it's too late.