1,872 ounces...156 cans...13 dozen cans...6.5 cases...1 and 1/12th gross...
Please buy my cherry vanilla coke zero. I have a whole lot of it. Cherry vanilla coke zero sold:
Goose egg. 0. Or should I say, zero.
Maybe it's the whole "it tastes terrible" thing, I thought. I figured I'd try some and see. I popped open a can and drank 1.5 teaspoons as Sample A, then 1.75-2 ounces (10 1/2-to-12 teaspoons) as Sample B. It tasted horrible- just like all Coke and dark sodas, except that it had a bad (aspartame) aftertaste.
Then I tried the Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper with aspartame. It also tasted fine but had a bad aftertaste. Then I figured I'd try a diet Coke. That also tasted fine but had a bad aftertaste. The aftertaste was a bit more subtle, but the "duringtaste" was not as good. Diet Coke doesn't taste as good when you're drinking it, but the aftertaste isn't as bad, either. Get it?
We sell diet Coke just fine. Apparently, no one likes Cherry Vanilla Coke Zero. So it sits on the shelf. Sadness.
Anyway, I estimate that I consumed 6.5 ounces of diet soda, and I immediately felt terrible. If I'm a flower, aspartame makes me wilt. If I'm a rose, it turns my thorns soft. I don't drink coffee because it'll set me at odds; this small amount of soda made me feel worse than 10 cups of coffee. I can stand coffee. Diet soda?
I've eaten raw pork at work before ("make sure it tastes good," and remember, I don't do inhibitions)...raw pork is much easier than diet soda.
I get crazy on Mountain Dew, but I can handle Mountain Dew. Diet sodas? Not so much! The aspartame madness put me in such a way that I divulged some of my secrets to Mr. dataDyne.
He could undo a lot of what I work for if he divulged them to the right people. Aspartame...that's the truth serum for Kev. Laser headed for the crotch? Nah, Mr. Evil Interrogator, just give me a diet soda. I'll tell you everything you want to know.
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6 comments:
are these "divulged" secrets suppose to be kept from everyone or everyone but the saints?? Maybe your work needs to be undone because it's causing you to to be someone you're not.. Is it??
Oh, no, no, I'm all Kev, still, and the work actually assists me and my Kev Styles... It's not job-related, specifically. Hard to explain without actually divulging any of my trademark secrets.
As for making me become someone I'm not, it's going to take very much to do that to me. Unless I do it to myself, which I'm actively avoiding; though I don't always do good. I need to Kick It Into The Gears On on that. (More on KIITGO in future post.)
I do think I'm allergic to aspartame...certainly not everyone reacts the same way I do. =)
why r you trying to keep secrets, in the first place? do you know who, anonymous, is today??
It's not so much secrets, as in pieces of intelligence, that I'm trying to hide.
It's likened better to my source code; if you have the source code, you can change the program. (C.f. Open Office, Mozilla bases, etc.) I'm the program; if you have my source code, you can change me.
So, if I keep my source code closed/secret, then you can't change me. That probably makes just a little bit of sense. Very tempting not to make the idea more easily grasped after.
As for who it could be...I have no idea, at all. It would be futile to guess...oh, I don't know...Samantha in accounting? George from Spain who talks with a Russian accent? That one girl visiting from Alaska that was very surprised by my apple pie baking?...the list goes on!...
I'm sorry, that seemed kind of sarcastic in a mean way. I meant it in a nicer way than I think it sounded.
Kevin
Oh, it might have been kind of creepy, too. I didn't mean it in that way.
Kevin
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