Hold Up, Wait a Minute

Put a little love in it!


I've been reflecting. Uh oh, you say. Uh oh, indeed.


Well, usually, things in my life happen because God is playing another prank. Usually His pranks turn out pretty good though. Examples, that one time ...and the other time... OH, and when I was sick on my birthday.


I'm reminded of what Paul said (Philippians 4:11):


11: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.


I feel the same way with this statement as I did the first time I played Metroid Prime. If Samus can do this, I can. I'm not psycho. But if Paul can live by that, I can live by that. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but I can live like that.

It's not such a horrible curse, not being able to use computer chairs. It's just so inconvenient; all the cool kids have desktops for mouse using, and all the cool kids have external speakers on their desktops, and they also have full-size keyboards. They also have the coolest kids as pals! And here I am, complaining even though I have a laptop which I can use! Ooh! Life is just so hard.

[/sarcasm]

Still, seeing's how I can't really sit down and draw for more than twenty minutes, I will have to make little "chips" and "nags" at it like I've been doing. Fun. It's actually better if I think about it...actually...no. What angers me, though, what really toasts my crackers, is thinking I can't do it.

I've never thought I had to prove anything. I don't know what it means. I have no idea. I've never experienced it before. Does it mean I hate myself? Does it mean I'm a narcissist? I don't know! Does it mean I've been spineless all my life? Or that I'm turning into a- gasp- a closet drunk?



Logically, as I brainstorm with ...myself...with my limited, one-minded rapport...it only makes sense that it's related to this being my dream. I never knew what a dream was. I never had dreams. Never once in my entire life. Sure, I've had short-lived dreams, like the dream of being sick on my birthday (fulfilled, 16th birthday!), or my dream of having a laptop (fulfilled, August 2006). But dreams like that are just the cheap whores of the dream world.

So what conclusions do I draw? Well, ...obviously... I don't know. I suppose the first step is to research just what a dream is. And try to find out what it means, psychologically speaking, to have to prove something. Until then, I will be listening to the CD I ordered by Family Force 5. The song that got me to order the CD is on Gotee Record's site. All the music is great (Dec. 2007 note: I am referring to the music on Gotee's site, not the FF5 CD), but if you want to listen to that particular song and don't have time to waste (dude, you're on a computer- get with the program!), click Love Addict.



Song of the Day is Love Addict by Family Force 5 on their Business Up Front, Party In The Back: Diamond Edition, and also their non-diamond edition CD by the same name.

Dec. 2007 update: After reviewing the FF5 CD, it seems non-Christian. Only the last few songs are near Christ-glorifying, and those, if memory serves, were not included in the "non-diamond" edition. Count it as secular music; on top of the lack of Christ-glorifying songs, there is an unpleasant centering on partying, being better that others, pride, and girls.