So, this movie's weaknesses:
- The actors
- The characters themselves
- How the characters acted
- How the actors characted
- The whole 'not that scary' bit
- The 'too predictable' bit (I experienced no suspense- and I experience mind-numbing, horrific suspense opening doors in Turok 3, which, it turns out, don't even open)
- The ending
- The nonsensicalities
Movie's strengths:
ZOMBIES!
You'd think that the zombies would be enough to save it, but not really. The zombies here had glowing red eyes, and that's deffy a turnoff. I mean, when you're being chased down by lunging hordes of undead, you don't want to see them chasing you, you know, their eyes bobbing. You want to just trip over a rock and be overrun by teeth in peace.
It's like werewolves who have glowing eyes. That's alright though, more so than zombies. 'cause, more often than not, werewolves look like crap. I mean, imagine Bad Moon's werewolf with red eyes. That would ruin most things. Get it? Most things in the stead of everything?
Sadly, it totally* seems most directors say "What?!?! Give our werewolf human eyes?! YEAH RIGHT! D00D! THAT WOULD IMPROVE IT AND IT'D MAKE MORE SENSE! AND LOOK BETTER! You freak! Get out of my office!"
And once the poor fool who suggested 'no red eyes' is gone,
"That jerk...human-like eyes... (pause) (DIALING)...Hello? Vinny?...Yeah, I got a job for you- I need it done fast... Yeah... I need a triple anchovie with olives and sausage. OK. See you in an hour."
Anyways, I guess I could suggest watching it if you like zombies. Otherwise it's pointless in most senses of the word.
I give it a 2.0 out of 5.0, with a "rewatch" rating of 0.5 out of 5.0.
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The good news? Well, I guess I never mentioned any good news... but Resident Evil is on tomorrow! You know what they say, it's "...every sixteen-year-old's dilusional, videogame -based, paranoid, sick, perverted fantasy. Who should die."
...anyways......there's just something about the movie. It's like...like...I don't know. I think I'm just a sucker for
- Female protagonists
- Special ops squads, especially ones that don't bring enough ammo
- Videogame-esque situations
- Monsters (except Aliens), Zombies
- Homicidal, maniacal computers, especially ones who ironically end up being cute little girls
- More zombies
Seriously. When I finally saw the full movie (I got real lucky), I had already seen the whole movie, in reverse order, twice, three times. I think I've seen every showing of Resident Evil that was on in the last four years...for some reason, they won't show Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Now that I find out Resident Evil: Extinction is coming out, well, I have no choice but to buy the RE and RE:A DVDs. It would be like a bird flying upside down, you know, it can do it, but it's not right.
I think I'm going to make a movie display case, and show off all the oddball movies I like. Apparently the movie is gorey. I don't know...I mean...I just didn't see that. Maybe it's like when you're in love. Or in extreme cases, looououououuuve. You don't see the persons faults, you know...that would make sense...
............
...
......Can uh, ...can you be in love with a movie?
...I think the saying goes, "I'm confused. In that way...help"
Song of the Day is Truth and Consequences by (the?) Newsboys.
*-lololo!!111oen1d00d
P.S.: I caught a little bird outside on the porch being terrorized by the cats, and I'm currently holding him 'cause he's out of breath. The dogs pwn out-of-breath birds. It's sorta hot out there...I can feel his little heart beat.
P.P.S.: "Your Order Has Been Placed - Thank you!
"
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