The Turmoil of a Bitter Soul

So, last night, I was driving home. It occurred to me that I wanted to play Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. (See the first, second, third, and fourth level reviews, if you have time to waste.)

I began thinking of the horror.


After a few minutes, I realized I was speaking. I slowly reached down and turned on my voice recorder, hoping I wouldn't notice. Here it is:

...than to die. How is it possible to experience this nightmare again? What a warring aberration would be the renewing of this dread sorrow! This horrific, non-valiant force of dismay! The feared adventure of mourning travail, that is that wretched game; yet there is Adon, shining as a ray of hope. They, the Dinosoid legions, run amok, ruining all they encounter; none can stem this tide of wickedness and destruction; unknown the cause, children are locked in cages, to what end, we may never know. The horror of the Mantid swarms...the war drums of the Purrlin...the matchless iniquity of the River of Souls...the unending fury of that foul destructor, the Primagen...


This is how I talk myself out of stuff.


The lair of those fell beasts, the Blind Ones...the sadness, and the bitter contempt...this is Turok 2. That I would, I do not...the evil that I would not, that I do...for to will is present, but how to accomplish that I will, I find not...for sorrow is swallowed up in defeat, defeat dealing that final blow into the heart of cleanliness, and godliness, contentment...the swarms, the hoarding, yet again a wave of upheaval for the continuously war-torn Lost Land...in need of a savior, a Son of Stone...sadness spreads as a canker...the fear, the mourning, rising like a vengeful serpent, it strikes...locked in a room with no hope...the horror of never knowing when you will meet your end...the fantastic evil of the Flesh Eaters...the Mantids, who would invade ripe worlds, the Earth being chief...what I would not have even then contemplated, the sixth level...the vengeful hordes therein...the mutant, or mutated, army...the horror...no bravery can match. It has been said, that fear, bravery...bravery is the control of fear, not the lack of...that proverb finds trueness in the sixth level, the Primagen's Lightship...for no amount of bravery, be it foolery or true braveness, could extinguish completely the horror...where dismay and doom radiate...horror...the river of souls flows sadly and drearily...bitterly killing all who venture near...for a simple, deathly drink. The zombies...the horror, the dreariness, the gloom, the agony, the gnashing...the trembling fear, the mourning souls of those who are lost...this is Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. And yet, it is within my will to play for once more...the arrow; the Dinosoids...they fight endlessly, grinding on as an awesome siege weapon fiercely ravening. The legions have no will, except that you are destroyed...thus to you to try all you can to persevere...to the end...that all may be light. That once more, for a short season...the end may be denied...if but for a short time. That bat of a creature, sealed in its Lightship...the warping...the endless warping...the sound...the sound that it makes...ringing and rippling endlessly out into existence. The chance of facing unexpectedly the dread flesh eaters that will sorrow you. At the first encounter, they fight with unnatural vehemence, a fearful fervor...the iron maiden of despair that is the Flesh Eater Portals...they are abomination manifest...how they seek and how they desire for all to end, and to end all...mangled, destructive creatures...their evil apparent to all to whom it would appear, and to all who would dare imagine. Meanwhile the Blind Ones drag the oft innocent, who would be safe, from the surface, and feast excitedly. Trapped in a room with no hope, despair...this is Turok 2...and yet this I desire. But then...to deny ungodliness, this I count a much greater gain. For all things are lawful to me...but not all are expedient...therefore, I find not the willingness to persevere within myself; thus I will flee from this wretched suffering, this harbinger of death.


Well, if you managed to make it through that, you'll know more or less how I make my major life decisions. I agonize and travail for a while, then figure it out once I'm done with that. I like to have my pity, and wallow in it, too.

I figure I have 10-12 more hours on Age of Empires: the Age of Kings, 25-40 more hours on The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and 2-3 more hours on Final Fantasy I & II. So with a minimum of 37 hours left on these games, and a maximum of 55-75 more hours (I might decide to play FF II, which would be around 20 hours, but I have heard it is basically just FF I, though it's not as good), I don't really have time for a game that's just going to make me not pee my pants.

I would mention some of the conversation me, the Hitman, and the Justice had last night, but that's a very sensitive issue. ("There's something special about three guys standing outside of a building after Bible study and chatting about how wives are more-or-less glorified slaves," the tale begins...)