Outrage!

Okay, so it was a good night. Much as a full moon glistens on the surface of an unmoving lake while crickets chirp in the breeze.

I had Arby's for dinner. I have a thing for Arby's. I had Arby's when I first got the Wii, and I also repaired the porch that day. Well, a 4'x4' section. I had to go straighten up my room juuust a tad since I wanted the Wii to have a good welcome. I set it in the hallway (it and accessories/games were in a brown bag) and quoted Jesus Christ. I forget what I said exactly. I mean, I remember, but I forget the words. Exact words. You know what I mean.

I had three sparkling waters in the fridge. I don't drink sweetened soda, as it is...well...too sweet. So, I took one to my room.


How I would regret that.

Did I ever tell you I keep a notebook and book light and pen next to my bed so I can write down TA notes? Yes. I do. I have the notebook halfway filled, and it's useful in every aspect of the word. But...the soda spilled.

Normally, the four horsemen would trample through the room, the house would be swallowed up by not only flames of the everlasting inferno (with resentment), but also the ground, opening its killer maw to crush us like a fortune cookie.

An organic, multi-human fortune cookie. However, since this is sparkling water, and not sugar-laden sugar-death, it does not stain or slowly evaporate and concentrate into poison death. As a bonus, the four horsemen do not trample through the room and the house is not swallowed up by everlasting flames of fiery inferno, and also the ground does not open up its killer maw and attempt to crush us like a multi-human fortune cookie.


However. The soda (water) spilled on my TA notes.

As I have previously stated, if this were normal soda, the horsemen, and stuff. So I am grateful I like sparkling water.


I watched a movie, called The People Under the Stairs. It was great! I loved that dude, "daddy." What a psycho! The Answers.com "Plot" is wrong...it is either eyes, ears or tongue. Not all three. I saw, actually, no blind ones. And they could hear I think.


Then I went to write something down in my TA notes. I don't remember what it was. All I knew was, I felt around, and I felt something wet.


And cold.

To my horror, I discovered the spilt water. I sprung into action. I got like eight paper towels and put them between the pages, then sought a source of FLAT and HEAVY. I could not find FLAT and HEAVY in my room. I went to the living room. I thought the VHS tape shelf would qualify as FLAT and HEAVY. However, it did not.

I THEN FOUND THE FILING CABINET!

It was both FLAT (and how!) and HEAVY (not so much!). So I got four one-gallon cans to put on top of it. To make it heavier. I tipped it sidewayes(saywhat?) and put the notebook underneath it. I can now only hope. And dream heavy, and flat, dreams. I may iron the notebook. If I have to.



And now, just the icing on the cake...by the way, Mom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.


The icing on the cake ... to my horror ... and... I was thinking of Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. How it's a great game. You know, the usual. If it was only more personable, and soft, and warm, like Metroid, I would really love it (like, really). However, Turok is neither personable, soft, OR warm. Turok isn't too personable, and is not soft, and is not warm! Maybe warm in a BAD way, but not warm in that comforting, soft, and personable way.

Then I saw Perfect Dark laying on the floor.

I have mentioned Perfect Dark before. Yes. Joanna (I think that's how it's spelled!) Dark. She is the one who talks, but not too much. Game is based off of the Goldeneye game engine. Has a sequel on Xbox 360 (I think Xbox too) called Perfect Dark: Zero, made after Rare left Nintendo's employ for Microsoft. Rare is said to have pulled Nintendo out of a slump, and made some of -THE- best games on the system (N64, their hayday). Then they cooled down, and Nintendo did not want them I guess. It is said to be a "friendly" leaving. As in, Rare might work for Nintendo again. I am unsure of this. Do your own research on this.

Anyways, I saw some weird thing. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil is rated M. For Mature. For GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, BLOOD, AND GORE (not "quoted," that's just things I could apply). You can shoot holes in thing's chests, and see through them. There are these things called Fireborn, which reside in Lava, and are fire-dinosaurs. You shoot them and can blow them off of their legs, leaving their calves standing there. Shaking.

You can blow somethings head off. Or its arm. You can blow half of a torso off of something, then watch them stumble around, off-balance. You can blow the head off of a raptor then watch them stumble around like a chicken. And then, there's the Cerebral Bore.

M. For Mature.


So I saw this weird thing. It looked like, lol, like an M on Perfect Dark. LOL! Yeah, that's silly. As, Turok 2 has M on it. Not, M and 18+. Just M.

So I picked up the cartridge. Mmm. Plastic. Paper. I am glad that DS uses cartridges still...so anyways...IT DID SAY M!!!

Perfect Dark features shooting. Shooting. Turok 2 features fountains of blood, with limbs and bodies being blown apart. Granted, these are not humans. However, Perfect Dark only features...you know...blood spots on the wall and red-colored "dots" on the soldier's clothes. You get that?

Blood on clothes.

A bit of blood.
Ketchup.
Catsup.

Turok 2 features blood spouting out of (newly formed) open body cavities. Blood spurting out of open body cavities so exaggerated it is on par with the vibrating breasts in newer games which are supposed to be more "realistic." Last time I saw a woman wearing a bikini, her breasts were not rippling (also her bikini was not skintight enough that you could visibly see her breasts rippling under it).

I don't really have extensive experience in games like those, so I may be exaggerating. Just a...disclaimer there. I will do some research some day. But until I find out if I am or not, I am going to continue screaming "SAMUS IS BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM MADE INTO A POPCORN-BALL LIKE MASS OF FLESH!" with an eye-twitch.

...just so you know, if they put anything near those kinds of physics in any Metroid games, I am going to cry. The Super Smash Brothers' Brawl footage is bad enough, but that isn't "rippling." That is bouncing. Which is a normal, healthy activity for breasts.


So yeah. Somehow, someway, Perfect Dark got rated M. That game is E 10+ if anything! It's just shooting people! And not, like, people who suffer! These are NPCs who have no story, and the graphics are not advanced enough to show them bleeding really bad or anything! JUST BLOOD SPOTS!

...but whatever. It's just, what if someones parents went by the ESRB ratings? Man, why even have it there if it's so inaccurate?

See, Perfect Dark would get...Violence, and Fantasy Violence. "T" rating would be fair. Not "Graphic" violence. Splinter Cell? Certainly. Give that an M rating. OH NO WAIT, SPLINTER CELL GOT A "T" RATING!


THE WORLD HAS GONE TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET!!!!!!