Meet Tiger

Tiger is one of my cats. Here is a picture of him and Precious (Precious is my other cat, who is female).



Can you guess which one is Tiger? He's the striped cat nodding towards the white cat which is sleeping. In the above picture, they are sleeping on a comforter on top of my old dresser. It is since gone, and I need to make them a new bed. They loved it.

Tiger is a little effeminate. My parents like to call him "gay," "gay cat," and other demeaning titles. Here is a picture of him a few years back.


As you can see, or maybe can't, he's looking at Blue, of Bear in the Big Blue House. I think his name is blue, anyways. Tiger was actually looking at him. See? Oh, and Tiger's an idiot.

And I mean stupid. For some reason, he always messes up. With him, it's not an exception when he falls- it's an exception when he makes it. He oft-times falls off of a couch or whatever if he's sleeping near enough the edge.

He scratches his ear psychotically with his back paw occasionally. It's weird, because he makes himself cry out in pain. He uses too much claw, not enough paw. I think he may have ear mites.

Here are some pictures of him from the other day. I've mentioned he has a thing for Wii paddles, so I took some pictures. Precious got in on it, too- I'll show her later. She is much more photogenic than Tiger.




















As you can see, he can't get his paws around the idea of how to use the Wii paddles, much like my brother. He is trying to press the B button, or trigger button, on the Wiimote. Most likely, he imagines he is trying to vanquish some Nazis in Call of Duty III.


We got him, along with his brother, Speedy (now dead, he was black and loved to sleep in the street on the blacktop, recipe for disaster), from my Aunt a few years back (thanks!). He's a very jealous cat, and also the dominant in the house. He is dominant because the others think he has some sort of fighting potential, but he doesn't. He frequently picks on the 100 pound pit bull, but the other cats totally own him. Fighting-wise. Mentally, he thinks he is the best. And so do they.

The other cat in the house is Vicious. She dislikes humans (unless she wants to be petted) and does not get along AT ALL with either Tiger or Precious. Precious and Vicious are sisters to Tiger, but from a latter litter. Notice Precious is nice, thus the name, and Vicious is...well, evil, thus the name. We frequently call Vicious "Satan." Vicious will attack Tiger or Precious if they get too close.

As I said, Tiger is jealous and dominant. So, he wants to pick on Precious. But since both Precious and Vicious are white with tiger stripes, he can't tell if the cat he is advancing on will attack him or be attacked by him.

Tiger frequently pretends to be friendly to Precious, usually giving her a bath around the neck, then bites her (very slowly thus gently, for some reason). One of the things he does, which is weird, is clamors for attention from me anytime I put on a new shirt. Once he covers it with his shedding cat hair, he is satisfied.

That's him as a kitten. That is an empty gallon bucket he is in. I used to really, really like rats. Fancy rats. I was all about rats. I thought they were the cutest, etc. etc. Their names spelled backwards spelled Star, and that's just what they were in my eyes. Stars.

But then, once we got Tiger, my whole view on them changed. They are not pets in the same league as a cat. I am a cat person, by the way- I don't like dogs. Rats don't live very long, don't have a very active presence in your life (a rat can't follow you into the bathroom while you take a shower and regret every second of it as water vapor fills the air), and are smelly. Also, they tend to get violent if you don't spend time with them for a while. This has been my experience, and I've had at least 20 rats in my lifetime.

Tiger has a problem eating food. My parents claim he is losing weight at an alarming rate, but I just don't see it. He is pretty skinny, but I don't notice him getting skinnier. They claim he can't eat, I disagree, life goes on.


Here is one last picture of him, showing off his lion mane, like the fearsome, intelligent hunter you know he's not:

TIGER SAYS TO GET OUT OF HIS FACE.


Ending note, I have heard that cats sometimes mend their relations, so maybe one day he and Precious will be friends. They have become much more tolerant of each other in past years.


Also, my Brother wants a cat of his own, since he sees how much my cats love me. They clamor for my attention. He tries to pet them, and they tolerate it, then go back to me. It causes him no end of grief, as you could imagine. It's hurtful to see him react to it. His last rat recently died, so he is weened of that grievance. Now he is longing for a pet to call his own, and I think he would like a cat. That would really raise his sense of self-worth, if some animal in this world actually cared for him (he hates dogs as well).

So, I am going to talk to my parents about it. Having a cat is a risk, as we live out in the country. 50 cars don't pass every 2 minutes, so our cats sometimes do not learn not to sleep in the street. That's how Speedy died. At the same time, you CAN have indoor cats, like Tiger, but some cats won't go for that. Precious is free to come and go, and so is Vicious. They do not sleep in the street, or even go into the street.








Team is in a bar, and a guy approaches Ness.

Guy:
"Hey baby, why don't you lose the heroes and get with the hero!?"
Ness:
(leans towards Jayme and looks at him)
Jayme:
(stands up) "Listen buddy, you need to step off. She's a lesbian."
Ness:
(incredulously) "I am NOT!"
Jayme:
"Oh, she isn't, I guess she'll go out with you then."
Ness:
(frantically and alarmedly) "NO!"