As, this has been the best day of church yet. There were a lot of people- I surmise they are coming down from summer vacation- and I met one new person, named Santa. He has some children, I do not know how many. One of them is named Huey.
Last week, I asked Pastor RJ if they had a church directory. "Sure, sure, Kev," he said wearily. "Actually, next week, we'll have one made up juuust for you. With the addresses blanked out..." My grin froze as I processed it. "Ahahaheheh," I laughed nervously after a few seconds. He walked away. I shrugged.
It's sort of a small church, and if three people stand side-by-side width-wise in the entrance-room, it blocks the path. So when you're making your way through there, typically there are people on one side, and typically you're walking with someone. So you block the way. Then someone talks to you, so you have to stop. It's a constant battle of watching your back, and not blocking the way- that is, letting people through when they need through. But they're getting stopped by people, too. It's like a really slow freeway with hundreds of arms attempting to grapple you.
So, I had just looked. Then someone elbows me out of the way. It turns out it's a guy whose name I won't disclose. He mumbles, "Out of my way," angrily, and storms past. Then he stops and says, "just kidding" and shakes my hand. Rofl. I am glad there is someone there who shares my sense of humor. He is somewhere around my Dad's age, but I relate to older people better. Young people, all sorts of things in their heads I am not sure of. They're all like, "hey man, let's get stoned!" then they crack that stupid joke about Saudi Arabia.
I caught up with him, and told him I thought someone was trying to kill me (as he shoved past). He got a kick out of that. "Well, hah, I get that all the time. I used to be a trained assassin, actually." "Wow, really?!" "Yeah. That was back when I was Catholic. When the Pope needed someone...removed from office, I was the public petition he signed for their...impeachment. I wasn't the only one, he had a lot of people "dropped into the pit," as he called it."
He has a daughter with an awesome name. She's like, three or something. Everyone was chatting and such, so Pastor RJ forwent the singing. He said that, due to "certain peoples'" gross exaggeration (at this point he looked to me, indicating everyone should follow my example), our fellowship was probably more pleasing to the Lord. I've never seen so many people talking to each other in such a small space. The room is a good size, but...with all the tables and chairs, whew.
Anyway, the last time I had this much fun at church, my brother and Dad did not go to church. And this time, they did not go to church.
I think the problem- and I am not yet discounting the possibility it is their very presence there- is the constant "bickering" that goes on when me and my brother are in the same car. You see, when a parent says something normally not discouraging or annoying in ANY way, then a sibling adds "YEAH KEV," it compounds it, and at the same time, makes it as bad as if that parent had said it, as that parent does not retract the statement in any way. You know, approving the statement by silence.
That's annoying. It totally, and completely, guts the whole purpose of church (merrymaking; or at least not being in a horrible mood!). This week I felt very happy, like I felt the first week I went to church. The following weeks were dismal- not so much the church, but the car ride there.
So, I think I will begin driving in a separate car (Al Gore would be rolling around in his grave!). The 1989, 8-cylinder Ford (Al Gore's grave would catch fire from friction from the speed of his rolling at this point!). I also like to listen to KLove on the way to church. My Dad dislikes Christian music (all music, but he only has occasion to hate Christian music), so we don't listen to it much on the way there. It is, to me, I suppose, a way of preparing myself for fellowship at church. Hopefully, if we drive in separate cars, it will bypass the annoyance.
I'll post soon about KLove. There's a story to tell. Anyways, after church, me and my Mom went to Walmart. I got a new pillow. Now, the cheap pillows cost $5. The good pillows cost $15. I got a $15 pillow. It is three times the size of my old pillow (also, three times firmer, so it is actually sixteen times the size of my old pillow!). I am already sleeping much better- I don't have a headboard on my bed, as I need access to the closet;
The closet does not have doors on it, so there is a wall at the head of my bed for a few feet, then air (the closet begins). A 2-foot-wide pillow hits this walless section, and spins. This pillow is 3 feet wide, so it does not spin at all. It is great. All the pillows had pictures of women sleeping on them. These women seemed to have thought ahead enough to slip into a revealing (comfort is the word!) nightgown, yet forgot to cover themselves up with a blanket and/or sheet.
Being the savvy buyer I am, I looked for the woman who looked the most comfortable. Now, for being asleep, a lot of them were smiling. I assume they must have been dreaming of how sweet their sleep was with that wonderful pillow they were resting their head on. So, now the question was, "who is having the best dream?"
I selected one of the biggest pillows. I figure, if there is more space to rest your head, there is a higher chance of dreaming a dream of how sweet your sleep is with this wonderful pillow you are resting your head on. Yes. Savvy defines me in five golden-blue letters.
Also, I got a lollipop. I know what you're thinking. "Lol, Kev buying a lollipop." Well, this one said, "Sour Green Apple."
What does "sour" mean to you? Does it mean, "corn syrup sweet?" It doesn't? Oh, wow. Because this lollipop has NO SOUR AT ALL. It's SO sweet, the only thing I can compare it with is banana flavored ice cream. Yuck, yet I respect your tastes if you like it. It is "Carousel" brand. I just love those sour blow pops. So you could imagine how bitter I became at Carousel brand. You know, maybe that's it- you're so angry that the lollipop is not sour at all, you become sour yourself.
I am kinda worried that I am so upset over a lollipop not being sour.
I took some pictures on the way there, and a 20-foot section of road was being rained on (lol!. Here is a picture I took of an 18-wheeler. I did not realize it at the time, but...have you ever heard of people taking a picture, then, upon reviewing it, learning there was something there they did not intend to photograph? Like, a ghost? Well...if you look below...
A DEMON IS DRIVING IT! You can see him there in the window! He is pointing at me, even! I can't tell if he has four horns, four ears, two horns and two ears, or if that's bad
...anyway...I almost didn't go to church this week. I am very glad I did, and this was a lesson for me. I struggled with, if to go or not, and I thought about it this way: if I go, I will not *regret* it. But if I don't go, I will. They'll miss me. Plus Pastor RJ had that church directory for me. It isn't very informative, I guess they just put the church members' names? Huh.
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