I Read the e-Manga. I did not kill my self.

I've always told my self, "Self, the day I kill you will be the day I read the Metroid Series e-Manga. That'll be the day I stab my toetoid artery that runs through my big toe and end your toiling. Until that day, self...toil with unmatched fervor. Let every last breath you take carry you to new heights of unfulfilling drudgery..."


I apparently lied to my self. I do that a lot, as my self tends to not hold me accountable for my lies, deceit and treachery.

Onto the point of the post: On Tuesday, March 26th, I read the Metroid Series e-Manga volumes 1 and 2, and over the next few days Volumes 3-5. Have you ever heard of the Metroid Series e-Manga? It's a low budget, canon, Nintendo-created backstory comic that was made for Japanese audiences. Here's what you need to know:

1. Read them backwards- rightmost pane to leftmost pane- as they were originally in Japanese. Those people are backwards I guess. They can't escape the laws of gravity, though, so you still read top pane to bottom pane...I think.
   
2. Wikitroid article, "Metroid E-manga" contains the following links:
3. Volumes 1 and 2 in English, and
4. Volumes 3 "and beyond" in English; currently, it is up to a part of chapter 5. These are much easier to read than the first two volumes, and no idea why the others aren't translated yet. BE CAREFUL WITH THIS SITE. I'm not kidding; just read the comics and get out of there.
5. A very nice "stylized" version of the first chapter can be found here1 and here2. It's very nice. Of course, you know how YouTube is. Content is removed or taken down so much it's barely worth linking to. They'll probably be dead links before I finish writing.
6. There are said to be many volumes of these comics. I know nothing more.
   

I can honestly say that the Japanese must be some weirdo freaks. Sorry, my opinion. Useful and necessary weirdo freaks, but weirdo freaks nonetheless. I was very reluctant to read the comics; I've known about them for a long, long time, but they scare me.

Why? Well, I suppose it's a given that there's... differences, between the Samus of the comics and the Samus of the video games. It's a different environment. Samus talks. (I'm now telling my self: Self, the day I kill you will be the day I aurally hear Samus talk.) And she...ugh...cooperates with people. She was younger then, I guess.


See, Samus isn't supposed to cooperate except to be told "do this." If you ever want to die, just go to a Metroid convention, and say "I HOPE IN METROID 4 SAMUS TEAMS UP WITH A TASKFORCE LOL THAT WUD ROCK!" and you'll be dead before you're killed. You'll be dead that fast. They will then dishonor your remains through various means, mainly via donation to a Satanist group. Satanist groups just love donated dead bodies.

No one will say a word, and if anyone does, it will be "Samusrocks."


I'll cut this short...and post my full opinion of the comics later, once I've sorted out my feelings on them. Sort...sort...sort. Error. Sort, sort...sort. Error. Sort, sort, sort.