I don't like goats

Well, I've always disliked goats. Not always for the same reasons. I don't like that goats take so much time to care for. It's like caring for children. Careless, obtuse, violent, unloving children. You know, teenagers. Except that nothing is enjoyable about goats. You don't have good memories. You don't look forward to their future or yours except in the light of "I can't be away from the house for more than 15 hours."

Goats are just bad creatures in-general (horses win the cup for "Worst Animal To Actually Have To Own And Care For" category), and the extreme difficulty it takes to keep them alive (I guess they're genetically engineered, like chickens) knows no bounds. We have an area of 30 feet by 10 feet with 2 feet of goat waste mingled with hay.

I know what you're thinking. "Wow, that's uh, that's...compost manure, right? That's good, right?"



Kind of.

Today, I got a wheelbarrow full of the compost manure. It is good stuff. Fabulous. There's just more than 100 times more than we need, and you'd have to be a complete, ravenously stupid idiot to want any of it- or rather, to risk loading it and using it. It is so powdery, you can practically imagine the doctors cutting you open and removing your lungs. Worse, there are pockets of mold. You know you hit one because there's a huge cloud of moldy dust flying everywhere. It resembles concrete, but it is a darker shade of gray, finer grain, and makes a much thicker cloud. And it actually travels against the wind.

Fabulous, isn't it? Oh, and we have another pile roughly the same size in the goat pen right now (it is almost high enough that the goats can walk over the 5 foot fence, oh joy), and another about 2/3rds the size sitting 10 feet from the goat pen.

They are still festering, though- not quite as dusty and dried out as the main pile. My parents are convinced these piles of goat feces mingled with hay are a blessing from God. I have a strong feeling that miracle grow manure would provide better, faster, cleaner, and safer results. But oh, I am always wrong, as was the case with the mice needing to be poisoned, the ants needing to have their food removed via a very violent waste management program, and, in the future, laying poison down for the garden rodents. Oh, I am always wrong in every accord.

Now a 4' by 6' bed is prepared in the garden...but I have goat feces mingled with dust, hay and mold lodged in my lungs. Thanks a lot, God. Thanks a lot.