So, yesterday, I went to Bible study, like I normally do. I was late. My mom had to get a new tire for the Pathy. It was about to esplode. BOOM, it would have went, and we would be glorified.
Speaking of getting glorified, I'll make that post sometime soon. I almost got ran down [several days ago]. Satan stuck his fingernail out, and I think the Lord clipped it when he saw that the Satan's Fingernail was heading for to touch me. I heard a horrible, howling, demonic scream, and the next thing I knew the vehicle stopped.
Back to current time. I know you are all slow dimwits, so when I talk about past and present, I try to distinctificate. That may or may not be a word. Anyways, I was on my way home, but we stopped at the Local Restaurant That Has A Claw Machine. I love claw machines. But I can't always play them. I am 18. Paul goes on and on about how you're not supposed to play claw machines- you should hear Pastor drone about it.
Regardless, there I was. Sitting in that old familiar room, full of temptation. "Quit you playing the claw machine like men, be strong." "When I was a child, I played claw machines, I got the toys from the claw machines, and I spent money on the claw machines: but when I became a man, I put away claw machines." "Therefore there is now no condemnation, except for playing the claw machines: this is the second death." Paul goes on and on about it, but Pastor never mentions the verses...
Pastor, dataDyne, and The Hitman were there. I couldn't take it any longer. I got up and approached the machine. Two dollars and a kindly donation of $1.25 from The Hitman later, I had myself a kingly prize!
N0\/\/ 1 f33| |1|<3 5p34|<1n9 1337. Sorry. I've been...I've been IM'ing lately.
Then reality dropped from the ceiling like a rusty spoon. (Hi, Debbie!) I remembered that the headlight was out on the passenger side. That meant I had to go through this again: Kev Gets Pulled Over By Five Polices Cars And Trucks; Police Grip Guns Warily.
With the help of all three other men, we managed to get the light out and determined that it, in fact, did not work. The parts store was closed. I live in the country: the common belief is that city stores are all 24/7. Darn country rumor-mills.
Now to the drive home. I passed three police cars, all chillin' in a lot waiting for to pull me over. When it comes to cunning craftiness, I think I'm about equal to Manny, but with crafty cunners, it's hard to tell just what level of cunning craftiness they possess. It's kind of like the hyperbole surrounding ninjas, just instead of killing, it's manipulation. Unless they're a good crafty cunner. But those are rare. It takes a pure heart, like, a Master Sword-class pure heart. No Ganondorfs.
I drove on, waiting, cunningly crafting myself a plan to get out of this mess. Mr. dataDyne had told me that if I get pulled over, turn on the dome lights. He said that it's like catnip for law-bearers. I don't know if he meant that it drives them nuts, or...
Regardless, none followed.
10 more miles to go. They could have caught up anytime...a few cars flew up doing 75 or 80, but no police. I was 500 feet from turning off of the highway when a car flew up beside me and passed me, then slowed down, and turned its lights on. Flashy-flash, they went.
Luckily, he was pulling someone else over. I don't know how it happened.
All I know is that Satan's fingernail must not have grown back yet.
1 comment:
Kevin,
Sometimes the brights work even if the low beam is burned out. There may be less of a chance of being pulled over for having your brights on than having a headlight out.
Don
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