Sparkling Water, My Sweet

My parents- especially my dad, as he doesn't drink the stuff- have a hard time understanding this logic: When we run out of sparkling water, and the stores are out, and we have none, we have none, and we cannot buy any.

It's basic logic. But if, when the stores run out of sparkling water, we have a stockpile, we can survive the drought. That is also basic logic. The common argument is, "What?! But we already have two packs of them! Why on earth do we need five more?" to which I respond, "Listen. We need to have extra for the drought that's upcoming, remember?"


On that note, I am unsure why, but sparkling water is sometimes hard to find- thus the "drought." It's as if they only ship a few to the stores, and sometimes other shoppers get the few that were shipped before you do. A few packs of sparkling water would make a great birthday present, hint hint. (Actually, really, I just need money this year. I'm a man.)


Then it happened. A drought. The store that sells it was out of stock for weeks. I thought I would go crazy. At the risk of offending one of you, I thought I would go cra...wait, I already said that. And it really isn't that offensive, sorry.


Regardless, we were out for weeks. I don't drink much normal soda; I find it too weird for everyday consumption, so I drink sparkling water instead. Without its sparkly goodness, I took to writing "No sparkling water and no place to buy sparkling water makes Kev a-go-crazy" on the walls with chalk. That's a hard sentence to write, however, so I didn't write it much. It made my hand cramp. Actually, the plural "walls" is exaggerating a bit.


Now the drought is over, so I am taking action to ensure that we don't run out again. Behold, heaven came down and glory filled our kitchen!:

Yes! Yes! Muahahayes!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some, uh... business, to attend to. knird, k-nird!



[You get the joke, right? Like, "redrum"?]