The NES is not my friend.

Do you play video games? No? Yes? On and off? A little? You've heard of them? Once?

I play video games. I quite enjoy them. Some can get exhaustingly long, that's true. Specifically RTS games, and, to a laughing extent, MMORPGs. Those can be so long that you'll beat yourself over the head with a typewriter. Those are HEAVY things. Have you ever lifted a typewriter? Lift it over your head then move your arms directly to your side very fast, and that will pretty much break any habit you may have formed. It's like defragmenting your hard drive, but it's your brain. (Speaking of which, I'm about to defrag my computer which I've had for almost two years and have not defragged once. Aren't I dumb?)


I'm in the process of redoing my room. Currently, I am packing every spare piece of junk together into boxes, to be "archived" in my closet. In the end, I want to get new carpet in there, and repaint it. The carpet will cost around $150, and the paint will be something expensive as well. I probably won't paint it for a long, long time. But I love that carpet that's 1/4" thick...we had it at our old, old house when I was 5, and I've always loved it. My brother has some. It's stain-resistant! I probably won't get it in there for a few months, but first things first is to make room. Speaking of which...uhh...my room smells like muskmelon (or "cantaloupe"). That is eerie.


So, I run across my old NES. Yes, I played all of two games on this beaut. Super Mario Bros. 3, and the Super Mario Bros. that was packaged with Duck Hunt. Once, on someone else's system, I played Contra. I think. Wait. No. It was a game by...well, there were dogs, OK? The girl kept unplugging the system on me. Seriously, girls cannot play video games. They just unplug it routinely and ruin your fun. It's OK, though. They're in training to become WIVES! Oh, no I didn't! LOLLROFLDOLFTAX PLEASE

That reminds me of Pastor's dilemma. You see, he is married.

That's his dilemma. OH, NO I DIDN'T! Man, I'm on a roll. Anyway, he said that sometimes he is so intent on what he's focusing on, he doesn't hear people around him. That explains the multiple times I've broken 2x4's over his head to try to get his attention. Or maybe I was dreaming that just like that dream I thought I had about Samus Aran but can't see to remember. Ahh. Samus Aran. She makes me happy. I think I had the dream, but I forget if I did. I seem to think that I did, but I don't remember what it was about or even if I did. I've had one dream of Samus Aran before, and, well, let's not discuss those matters. (See the very last section of text, under the last of the pictures. It's one of my blog posts.)

Anyway, I came across my old NES, and it's time to throw it out. I have the connectors...the AC adapter, the ...uhh...oldschool A/V adapter...and the paddle. But it's done. Finished. Kaput (did you know that "kaput" means "incapacitated or destroyed"? Wow). Wii's Virtual Console has all the NES games I could ever want, and my real NES only has one or two or five I don't ever, ever play, despite the fact that I think it still works.

Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, I can't get that song "Great is Thy Faithfulness" out of my head! I somehow think that listening to it again will help ease my suffering, but it only makes it worse. Make it stop! Make it stop! OH, NO, I JUST RESET IT TO THE BEGINNING! AHHH!

OH NO, I DID IT AGAIN

I AM POWERLESS AGAINST ITS ONSLAUGHT



CURSE THE DAY I WAS BORN