Hold on. I've got to go put Lionel into bondage. The kittens are so miserable lately, they can't be stood if they're in the same room, and they can't be stood if they're in different rooms. Thus, I'll actually give him liberty and throw him outside. Hold on.
That's much better. I'll be standing fast in this liberty for sure. Lionel landed pretty well, but Popoe landed on his face and tumbled head-over-tail in a pile of glass. I don't even know how that was possible! There's no glass out there...I'll have to look into this matter later.
Anyway, I lost track of time, and 2 AM dropped on me like a ton of coffee beans. I set my alarm for 8:09 AM, after Romans 8:9. As you may know, my real alarm was given away to uncleanness through the lusts of its own heart, to vile affections, and to a reprobate mind. So, I use my Nintendo DS's built-in alarm clock. It works fine, but not when you need several alarm settings or if you want to wake to Craig's Top Ten Cat Songs on CATALK 95.7. NDS does not play radio.
But the NDS alarm is pretty good. The kittens being hit by cars as I speak is pretty good. SCREEEEECH. (Cat moaning.)"Oh, my God! It's still alive!" Ahh...sweet melody to my ears. Oh, and the shoes shipped. In fact, they're out for delivery. I guess Zappos.com really does ship overnight for free.
02/08/2008 8:09 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY
Notice anything special about that? Think, humble fool! Think! 8:09 AM was what I set my alarm for. Aren't I smart? No? Rabid coincidence again?...oh. Right.
Next, I switch topics to blowguns. This is part primer on blowguns, part personal records, and part me going through my ritual of ordering stuff online, so give me leniency on length. You don't even have to read it unless you're curious about an awesome birthday gift. It's not legal in California or Massachusetts.
As you know (There is a Still in the Air from March 23, 2007), I have a 36" 2-piece blowgun. It's .40 caliber. They make great gifts; trust me, the novelty value is through the roof...but in a good way. Just buy a 100-pack of darts along with the blowgun. It should be noted, they make great gifts in the same bloody way that BB guns do, so gift as if you were gifting a BB gun (unless you only buy plastic/blunt darts, in which case it's good for very young kids). They range in price from $10 to $35, from 2 feet to 6 feet. Some retailers sell .50 and .62 caliber.
(Real hunting blowguns are homemade with 1/2" polyvinyl chloride, and 36" is much too short for a real blowgun, and a real blowgun wouldn't be in two pieces. Go find a blowgun assembling site if you want to hunt big game- like dogs- with one. What's wrong with you, hunting dog?)
I ran out of ammo a long while ago, thus, now I'm going to order some blowgun ammunomonition. That's how I ofttimes say "ammunition." I shop with J & L Self Defense Products. I cannot attest to their sanity, nor to their goodstanding; that is, I do not endorse them as I am cautious of potentially-psychotic companies. I just know that they're nowhere near as psychotic as most blowgun- or "self-defense"- sites. They also offer a drastically superior selection, but only for .40 caliber; they do not carry .50 cal or .62.
(So you know, darts are to blowguns what "bolts" are to crossbows.)
So, I'm getting 10 broad head darts...$2.00---*
10 stinger darts...$2.00
25 target darts...$3.50---*
25 spear head darts...$4.00---*
25 plastic stun darts...$3.00
25 magnum stun darts...$4.00
24 cap darts via the cap starter kit...$6.00---**
2 packs of 72 caps for the cap darts...$3.00
1 Sidewinder 1-piece, 36" blowgun...$9.99---***
- *-These three are more or less the same, but they have different tips.
- **-I found a new ballistic; cap darts! You know those little caps that go "POP" when they are hit, the ones used in cap guns? These darts are plastic, and they have those on the end. I'm assured to have some fun with these. Say "goodbye" to peace of mind, kittens!
- ***-I also found a 24" blowgun extender (I'd like to see a bit more length in my blowgun); however, I don't think it's wise to have more than one connection in the blowgun (it bows enough with one). Currently, each half of my blowgun is 18". Thus, with the 24" extension, I would only gain 6 inches. Therefore I conclude that I should spend the extra $5 and get a 1-piece 3-foot blowgun, essentially buying a secondary blowgun. It'll also come with darts and necessary dart holders, so the $5 isn't exactly going to waste.
Great. If you're a traveling gypsy, you'll calculate the total at $37.50, not including shipping. That's a lot of money, considering it's MY money. I could instantly drop the sum to $27.50 if I didn't get the blowgun...but I am extremely curious of how they would ship a 3' pipe. Doesn't that make you curious? It makes me curious. It also intrigues me in that it is practically a self-made blog post.
OK, I went ahead and put the order through. Total was $55.07. I ordered another knickknack unrelated to blowguns for $5. I did take a survey and make $100 in magazine subscriptions...so I really made $45 today! Great! But I don't like any of the magazines. Oh well. Back to -$55.
Have I mentioned that my cat, Tiger, is chronically constipated? Yeah...more on that later. The shoes are here. Behold their dressy glory, below.
That's Tiger's leg. He is still constipated; furthermore, the kittens are both desperately begging to come back inside, and he's jealous because they're "free." I'll like, take a picture in 6 months, and see if the shoes age like the others. They're a little tight; I guess they do need breaking in. Or maybe they're tied too tight...but I don't want to make another sacrifice to the string gods today.I'll post again once the blowgun ammo arrives, and I'll go out and shoot at a target I'll paint on the house to see how my grouping is.
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