Sparkplugs VS. The Destroyer

So, today I got up. I got dressed, and went and changed out the spark plugs in our 1989 Ford F150. Al Gore would be rolling around in his grave!

First, I took out the first one. I went P2341, then D4321 (P is passenger, D is driver, and "1" is closest to the radiator (that is a cool word!!!)). One was a bit rusty...on the inside. Eek. Two plug wires broke, but luckily we have a few extra (a guy from church owns a Ford and left his car unlocked). (I am joking, I do not know from whence they came).

Oh, also, this week was the first week I missed church. I had an...unsettling dream. My Pastor was the antiChrist, and I found his cloning labs and genetic research lab (and probably got caught on camera). He wasn't doing anything evil, but he WAS evil! I made a decision that just because he wasn't being evil right now, doesn't mean he won't turn evil and start running around like a dragon with its head cut off. Me and my Mom got in a fight on the way there (well, my Mom was in a fight with me), and we turned back 10 minutes out, then I was going to go by myself.

I decided I don't want to go to church by myself. That is not fun. It also is not fun when just me and my Mom go. People think we're husband and wife. Or...God forbid... a couple! EWW! Then my Dad comes along, and they think...oh. Is this your son? to which I reply, "GOD, NO, HE'S MY DAD!"



I picked up some Meow Mix as the cats were out of food. Also, this was the week my Dad bought some turtles for a friend at works' daughters. I don't know if they're the ones who like to lick rattlesnakes. The freaks. I have a mental image of them as those twins from The Great Outdoors. The creepy ones. Trust me, I will NOT get over their creepiness ANYTIME soon. Prepare for months of complaining, outraged posts about THEM (that is, my dad's pals from works''s' daughter's')!

I mean, come on! Well...I will have more on the subject later. I could go on for 5 posts about it.


So, I changed the spark plugs. They looked terrible. They were all worn down and stuff. I also changed out the distributor cap and rotor. I tried to start the truck...and, hah, of course it had to lag a bit. I thought it wasn't gonna start. But it did. The truck, months ago, used to idle at 25 MPH. Then it dwindled down until it was finally at 15 MPH lately (with slightly slow acceleration). Now it's back up to idling at 25 MPH! Yes! I assume the acceleration is much better as well.

This was the second car operation I've ever done by myself. The first was an oil change on our '96 Pathy. You know how spark plugs can be. My grandfather tried to change out some spark plugs on his newer Ford, and just about lost his arm when a wild ape jumped into the truck and started it. I told him, "German, do NOT route your arm through the fan belt."

But he didn't listen to me.


Then again, neither of us expected a wild ape to launch itself from its arms into the drivers seat and start the car. Luckily, Grandpa German heard it land and looked up. He took his right arm out from inside the belt, but was still leaning on it with his left, and the force of the belt moving under it ripped it out of its socket. Luckily, the ape was a trained medical assistant, and popped it back in. It then suggested a local doctor (it carries cards for him?), and when Grandpa could not drive due to his arm, it drove him. What a kind ape. But it always gets into trouble.

The ape has not been seen to this day. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to making the GREATEST DINNER IN EVERDOM. The only sad part is that there is no sparkling water. I guess that's OK. I am going to have to drink Ginger Ale (the only kind of soda I can halfway enjoy; others are too sweet).