Well, Popoe, our stupidest cat, the cat who is SO stupid he can barely feel pain, and who has a severely misshapen face, is being relentlessly attacked by his hormones, as he has not yet been parted from his...uhh...you know.
My Mom stated that "he either needs a surgeon, or a girlfriend. It does not matter which one." He doesn't give a damn if they're out of practice or lost their operating license or what, he NEEDS somebody to help him! You know, putting out ads in the paper.
"Male, unneutered kitten seeks m/f surgeon with scalpel or f kitten wishing to never leave me. Must meet immediately."
So I got to thinkin', and...
Read slowly and with feeling:
How long... I wait.
Suffering... my fate.
How long... I... wait...
A surgeon...or a date.
Now as a normal song tune:
Chorus:
I need a surgeon, carrying a scalpel
I need a girlfriend who'll accept me as I am
It doesn't really matter which one comes to my aid
As long as they can ease my pain
Surgeon surgeon, won't you cut my balls off
Surgeon surgeon, won't you make my pain stop
Surgeon surgeon, no time for anesthesia
Surgeon surgeon, I'd do the same to ease ya
[break for music or chorus or something]
Girlfriend girlfriend, I need your assistance
Girlfriend girlfriend, not looking for a one-night stint
Girlfriend girlfriend, let's start us a family
Girlfriend girlfriend, I promise that I will not flee
[short break]
But girlfriend girlfriend's repulsed, by my idiocy.
[short break]
Surgeon surgeon, you are my last bet
Surgeon surgeon, make it so I do not fret
Surgeon surgeon, I don't enjoy the pacing
Surgeon surgeon, nor my heart a-racing
Surgeon surgeon, stupid things I do-oo
Surgeon surgeon I'm depending on you-oo-ooo
Read slowly and with feeling:
Where are you, dear surgeon...
Lost in a sea of sand...
Lost in a sea of water...
Lost in the bowels of the earth...
Someday we'll be together...
If only for a moment...
On that day, my dear surgeon...
Bring your scalpel.
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