No Posters For Fanboy Kev

My Mom is putting up pictures. Pictures of me and mine. It's so creepy... they're all looking at us.

She counters by saying "Yeah, but look at that creepy -expletive deleted- there." (Referring to my beloved picture of Yuri Prime which hangs on the wall not in a frame, in non-stylish black and white).

So, I must counter. How will I do that? I will get a beautiful color picture of Yuri Prime. I understand that there's some porn star named Yuri, and worser things than that (including unspeakable evil), so let me just clear this up, Yuri Prime is a mind-controlling Russian madman/dictator who cloned himself (thus he is Yuri Prime, and his clones are not 'Prime') from the game Red Alert 2: Yuri's Revenge (which is great!). He was fond of throwing people into giant woodchippers ("grinders") then making use of the 'organic materials' from their ground bodies. Also tanks. He ground those, too.

You know, the porn star may be named 'Uury," and people are too stupid to know. Could you imagine Red Alert 2: Uury's Revenge? Creepy. "I am Uury...obey me."

(Edit 6/29/2008: You kind of have to hear it to get the joke. Maybe then you won't even get it. Search YouTube for "I am Yuri" and that should bring it up if the link breaks. Point is, guy's creepy.)

I loved the Red Alert 2 games. I still do. They're like, "Wow Kev, buy me on DVD, you won't regret it." and I'm like, "Baby, I can't sit down and play you, and that means I can't use a mouse!" then they're like "Aww, that's too bad. I'm sorry." and then I breaks down crying.


I mean, like, sobbing...



So anyways...I can't find a poster of Yuri. I could find THOUSANDS of posters of various people such as sports stars, actors, movie posters, etc. Yet there is no Yuri Prime poster. O my troubled heart.

Watch this, I will do a search for "dude good sports star poster," and let's see how many posters I find. 970,000 different posters.

Now I will do a search for "dude evil mind-controlling dictator poster." 982 results which are non-poster related. This has the words "evil," "dude," "dictator," and there was not a mention of posters in the advertisements.

So I think to myself, "Well, for some reason...dunno why, I'm thinking of Metroid Prime. Maybe there's a good Metroid Prime poster."

I found one poster on eBay. Wrinkled up, torn apart, apparently used as a baby diaper. Repeatedly. They have a special room in hell reserved for them I am sure.




So I will stick to trying to enlarge the box art then get it printed in a bigger size. I will need a good-sized frame, as he will be the centerpiece. See, my Mom, she put up like, twelve pictures. I get one. It only makes sense that I should get to put one up that's the size of twelve pictures, right? I'm thinking like 4'x6'.


Here is Yuri at the right. He has the coolest half-beard thing. Or, evilest rather. Yeah. That.


Day one of waiting for my Terminator Blowgun. I just hope I get a few days practice before my Dad gets home, so that he will lose. Shipping COULD take two weeks, you know...

Sure is weird how cheap they are. I mean, they are basically 3/8" conduit with a funnel on one end, but still. I think I will mostly be stunning birds for no particular reason. Suckers.



I was reading Corinthians today. Neat book I think. I will finish it by tonight hopefully. Oh, and that also means I finished Romans finally. Corinthians has some things I don't understand in it, usually I can easily pick up on what is being said...like...ah, I get it now. Meat not as in TURKEY, meat as in food. "Sit at meat."



Song of the Day is 'God Help Me' by Rebecca St. James on her If I had One Chance To Tell You Something album.

My Mom hates Rebecca St. James because she thinks she's a lesbian. Since I am at the age I should begin rebelling, it is my duty to develop a passion for Rebecca St. James' music. God Help Me is really a fantastic fight song though, independent of my having to rebel.


I will post a brief second half to the Sick One post sometime. I have not forgotten. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get some chocolate milk. It's chocolate and milk, but not fully either. Mystifying.