Don't Kill Me, I Won't Kill You

Today, as me and my dad were wandering through a store, I realized that any one of the fools around me could have killed me.

Any one of them could have had a knife, gun or even a sausage or- God forbid, a fish bone. Hokey, pokey, fishbone chokey. Where have I heard that...I hate fishbones, did you know? They creep me out.


Anyways, I pondered what exactly breeds peace between us as humans. Is it simply our nationality? That isn't true, because I could go to China right now, and they'd certainly kill and eat me, but I wouldn't do anything negative to them. I might tell their women that I really like their dresses (they're awesome), but I don't think that's necessarily negative.


It has to be some kind of built-in social framework. We just know that is it right not to kill others (there are exceptions of this knowledge, of course), and there's this idea of assurance that no one will harm you unless they look like a threat. My dad hates everyone regardless of nationality, belief, personality or mindset, and he would never admit it, but he doesn't worry about someone in a store stabbing him to death.

It could certainly be a matter of numbers. Of all the people in our country, very few would attempt to injure you. I'm not saying they couldn't be trained or convinced to, but for the most part, they won't hurt you if you won't hurt them, and vice versa.


Then, THERE'S, OOPS, CAps lock. We'll get that in editing, like men. Then, there's the issue that people feel invincible and are mostly ignorant. I know that when I'm driving a car down a thoroughfare, I drive very cautiously, but most people drive like headless chickens. That's a mental image I've never thought of..."driving around like a headless chicken was behind the wheel." That's grand.

...and they just don't worry about others, as the(y think the) world spins around them and honestly, they don't have to be aware of their surroundings. Anyways, I was just thinking that today. The conclusion I come to is don't kill me, I won't kill you.

And that's what makes the world spin 'round.


Except in China.


In lieu of this 'don't kill me, I won't kill you' bargain, they just have really, really neat dresses. Especially the red ones. As far as I can tell, this pacifies the masses somehow. Of course, as with anything, I'm sure they have some crazily weird and bad dresses. Thus, I must be talking about the sanitized, "I don't want a lesbian in my cartoon or I won't let you show it" variety.

Wait, wait! That isn't China; I'm thinking of Japan! They don't eat people in Japan. But still, the thing about the sanitization stays. And the thing about China eating people.

That stays, too. That's why I'll never go to China. I don't want filet migKev showing up on a menu. Um, just so we're clear, this is um, about the like...abuse over in China, yeah, that's it. I'm a respectable protester, you heard me right. I'm not a...um, yeah. I'm not an umyeah. Got it?


Now I'm just rambling. Oh man, wait, I'm supposed to be being nice to China right now because they just had an earthquake. OK, I apologize. I forgot that when I wrote the above. Forgive me?

...friends?