The Symphony of Annoyance and Yuck

Ah, listen to it. Creak.
CREEEAK.

HACKH, PTUH!

Tap tap, tap tap.

Flies are everywhere. My mom's newest idea for saving money: leave the doors open all day on cool days. Shamefully, the flies are in season, so before we knew it, they all rush in like they just found the barn of their dreams. I dread to think what it may be like in the actual barn outside. Let's put it this way: The rain, over the last few days, have made it worse.

HUURGH, PTU, HACHGKCK, FLAGHZPLUH! My brother spits and hacks and flaghzpluh's at a steady cadence. I think that, since my dad's going to start playing an instrument now, that my brother is going to play his mucous membranes. HIGGH, PLAGH! PTUH, PTUH. HAAAACK. HIGGH, PLAGH! PTHUH, PTHU!


AACGH, SPL!


Ting. Ting.

Flies are everywhere. The fly swatter is missing. I will soon use my guitar to fend the beasts off. It amazingly keeps them away from me with its vibrating, but only in a two foot radius.

He reemerges from his room. He sighs the sigh of the person who goes HACKSH PTHUH BLAGH! after every breath.

God, take me now, I think.

HAGH, FL-AAGHPLUH! Sidle. Sidle. "Brother? Are you alright?" NO, NO, NO! I shriek inwardly. "Oh yeah, I'm just fine" I say outwardly. The serenading continues. Crinkle, crinkle, CRINKLE, CRINKLE CRINKLE, CRINKLE...


I really can't say I don't deserve this.

HAGH, PLAGHUHTHUP!

I become conscious of ever [removed] I ponder if [removed for potential gross-out of the humble fools] Maybe it would be sentient by that time.


Well, I've got to go. I would include an audio clip, but...no. Just...just no, I wouldn't want to put you through that. Because, it's time to make shrimp gumbo and Manhattan Clam Chowder. Who likes Manhattan Clam Chowder? Well, we know this old humanist vet, and he requested it. I sent him some old split-pea stew (yes, stew) and he apparently loved it enough to request I make something I've never tasted.

My dad got the ingredients. He got the bell pepper. And the parsley. And the clam juice- 24 oz of it. And he got bay leaves.


He forgot the clams.



For the clam chowder. And he's home with them now, so I need to go get those.