22,000 turkeys "make" "ultimate sacrifice" -- Thanksgiving post #5

I despise titles like this. Leave it up to the British press to get so confused (our press is stupid enough, but theirs...wow!). Link to article, "Bird-flu alert in Britain: 22,000 turkeys make ultimate sacrifice". The author uses the term "culling." To cull, culled, culliration, cullified, cullerized, and cull-canceled (although it's almost never used; when you set out to cull something, it's getting culled).

He claims that culling is "the technical way of saying they are being rounded up and killed". In this instance that is true, but the real meaning is getting rid of or separating, either by pushing out the back of a truck on the freeway (killing) or giving to someone who doesn't mind if their animals have idiotis. It does not always indicate slaughter.



Then, somehow, he makes the amazing, reality-blurring connection between turkeys being rounded up, burned alive, then shoveled up, crushed, and having their charred remains thrown away by heavy machinery and them "sacrificing" themselves.

These turkeys did not sacrifice themselves, not in the definition of sacrificing for a cause, and especially not in the definition of sacrificing to protect anything. They were captured then got slaughtered. But he makes them out to be selfless. Noble.

Noble is not a word that describes turkeys.

Not accurately, at least.

"Turkey" is a word that accurately describes turkeys. Chuck Norris mentioned the article in his commentary this week. I suggest watching this (do not watch it if you dislike the troops).


So anyways, my Mom did some more shopping today. The Thanksgiving list reads like this:

Turkey
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Potato rolls
Cranberry sauce
Stuffing (cooked in pan like real stuffing)
Green Beans Amandine
Marshmallow Yam Thing
2 Pumpkin pies
2 Pecan pies (my favorite pie. Lemon Meringue doesn't last as long and it's harder to make)
Possibly, 1 of Sticky-D's World Famous, all you can eat, Chocolate Chunky Poopy Pies

Vegetable ("salad") platter
Salami and olive/pickle platter
Deviled egg platter


So, we need...some chopped walnuts for the stuffing (the ones we have I am unsure of), some green beans (preferably fresh), probably some pecans (whole, at least 2 cups for the pies), and I don't know about the Chocolate Chunky Poopy Pie. See photo, left.

It's your basic chocolate cream pie with gelatin. But you cut a hole in a ziptop bag and...well, you know. You can see the photo. That's why it's called "poopy pie." The best effect is created if you randomize the lengths and drop from at least one foot above the pie. I don't know about others, but I would laugh and laugh if someone served this to me. Rofl. How dare they. The "chunky" part comes in if you decide to add miniature chocolate chips.

Sorry for the picture quality.

We also need green and black olives (hopefully, from an olive bar) and salami for the olive/pickle and salami platter. We need those darn chickens to lay more eggs for the deviled eggs, and we need NON-SWEET relish for them as well.

I can't believe that tomorrow then the next day is all that's left of the Thanksgiving wait! Oh, well...OK, hah, I can believe that, it's just a saying, y'know. Anyway, I have successfully caught a cold or flu or whatever- my Dad caught it at the same time, but he didn't violently vomit last night. My tonsils are feeling especially raw. Or my sinuses close to my tonsils, at least. So, my Dad got food poisoning, my Mom got sick with some kind of cold, then me and my Dad got sick with another kind of cold at the same time. So three different illnesses, and four cases of sickness in the last two weeks. What's wrong with us?



I am beginning to doubt I anymore enjoy being sick. It seems that my immune system has built itself up to the point that if I do get sick, I die. It's never a simple sickness that makes you real weak. Perhaps...I will start taking anti-sickness vitamins. I...I guess. It just seems to betray...

Two days to Thanksgiving!