Last of my Kind(red)

Well, my Granny, God bless her, had four children under the name of her husband (Stewartsky) so that she could continue the line. Not all of them continued successful, though (the only other, my Aunt Desnee, had girls). Now...I am the only one left who can continue the Stewartsky name. According to my Dad, at least. He's...he's never wrong. I'll ask my Granny. She's always right! So would you trust someone who's never wrong, or always right?


The ONLY other one who could do it- at least locally, as we have lost contact with the other half of our name- is my uncle Inderb. Certainly, he has many juniors running around he doesn't even know about and many more which he will never know about. But they don't have his name.

My brother is infertile. So it is up to me to continue the family line.


Yet I had a thought as I woke up today.

What if I marry someone who is in the same predicament? Every time she visits her sister, her sister's adorable children stare up into her eyes and say, "Aunty, your genes are the only reason we're so awesome; our Daddy's a moron who thinks we mean jeans. But we don't have the crown jewel: the name. The name! Avenge ye us woman!"

Yes, her...nephews and nieces (I do not know a word relating to nephew and niece as "sibling" relates to brothers and sisters?), would definitely talk to her like that. Mine? I DON'T HAVE ANY AND NEVER WILL. Oh, I wish I did, or I wish I could have the hope of having them, but no, no, no.

So actually, my predicament is worse than hers.

But she's got a lot of pressure from her dad who thinks we should do a movie-star wedding in which we both keep our names. I call the firstborn son, he objects. Stubborn old man. I hope he dies soon. I mean, working through disagreements like adults is productive. Then I have an important decision to make.

Typically, I should think of my wife's needs before my own. Then again, traditionally, I would take the name and kill his hopes and dreams. If I had a sister, I wouldn't expect her to keep the family name. So he has no right to have those hopes and dreams. He should have had another child, just like my parents should. I'm only having three kids at the most. Two girls, and the last one can be whichever. And uh, my wife can have as many as she wants, too, I guess. One will definitely be named Sarah, and the other I'll possibly name Kriket.

Our second option would be for us to adopt. But obviously we both have impressive gene pools...as her slightly-creepy nieces and nephews pointed out earlier. So I suppose they'd rather have more slightly-menacing cousins than a number of stupid cousins who merely have their birthright name.


So now, when I begin dating someone, I'm going to ask her dad if he's alright with me pursuing her. So, I need to ask him these questions at that point. Think of it this way: would you rather just meet some guy your daughter's been dating, or someone who sits down with you and discusses how he intends to marry her? After putting years and years and years into someone's life, that being your daughter's, you'd have to be overwhelmed with joy. At least your wife would be. Grandchildren. And once I have her parents on my side, nothing will be able to stop me! Hahahahahaha!



...anyways, you see, I want to be able to tell our kids, "yeah, I told her two weeks into dating her that I would be pursuing her to marry her, and I told her dad a week before that. She just...she just looked at me. Then I lorded the fact that her dad said I could over her like she already agreed."

As the years go by, the responses would change. First it'd be like, "OK yeah." Then it'd be "WOW, Cinderella didn't even have that much warning!" and then it'd be "Damn Dad, I just haven't had any boys practically proposing to me in that fashion. Maybe they don't intent to marry me?"

In which case I'll smile a sly smile, knowing that my plan had worked all along. All my years of conniving and plotting. "Well, ask him if he intends to marry you," I'll say. Later she'll run crying into my arms. "He said he couldn't take the responsibility," she'll rail. Hehehe. I told her the rules.

No dating until you're married, and then only if your husband is OK with it.