Church: The sickness is spreading. I can see it.

Everybody welcome the "Damn Them" tag, for when someone frustrates/angers me, or does something darn stupid. Applies corporately and singularly.

You know how you can't see the wind, but you can see the effects of the wind? A leaf moves, is it Satan, or is it the wind? 9 out of 10 times, it's the wind. Lord, I am tired.

I can now see disease spreading. What do I mean?


I've never gone to social functions or mass weekly/daily gatherings. Never attended school, never attended the PTA meetings (really, if I didn't go to school, why would I go to the PTA meetings?), never went to football games, never went to soccer games. Never went to Ohio State. Never studied for the priesthood. Never visited with the neighbor kids.

I've been to parties, sure. Well, OK, the plural "parties" is a bit extravagant. But there was this one really rockin' party I went to. It was actually a charity ball. And actually I didn't go as a guest, I went to volunteer as a waiter. And...well, calling it a party is a bit extreme.


Uhh, regardless, I've never been able to observe a large body of people as I have been able to the last few months I've been going to Church. It's neat! I can see them milling about, sometimes they act certain ways, other times other ways, sometimes they're happier, and this last cold/flu/sickness that has been going around has- to my astonishment- actually spread to someone other than me and my immediate surrounding family!

Amazing!

Several people were sick this Sunday. In fact, Pastor's whole family was out sick! Not only that, but so was- supposedly- Hitman's whole family. People were coughing (some were coughing real loud! Notice how I use exclamation marks? Because I'm TIRED!), sneezing, and someone actually vomited all over the bathroom mirror. I think so, at least. Maybe there was no one in there.


I remind myself of Seven of Nine. Really. When I watch Star Trek: Voyager, I see my life mirrored. Minus the Borg implants. I actually watch Voyager every chance I get just so I can learn the extraordinarily basic life lessons! Let's check the list:

1. I have to learn procedures and I am too dumb to figure it out on my own. Like, you can't insult someone's family, or you can't make a random accusatory charge that someone is gay, on and on.
2. I tend not to recognize insults/possible insults, attacks on my character, and subtle feelings of resentment and/or "shortness." Naive is a good word to describe me.

Well, actually, that's about it. I summed that up neatly. Very neatly, in the way of a man. But what stringent rules and regulations. And I have to learn about them after the fact. So, I tell someone "Boy howdy, these peppermint wheel tarts are HORRIFIC! Strawberry and PEPPERMINT?! HAHAH AH, DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB EMERIL!" and throw the cookie over my shoulder onto the floor as I walk out of the room. THEN I find out that's a no-no. Darnit. So then I have to apologize. But how do you apologize for telling someone their cookies taste like Liquid Death?

"Uhh, I was...uhh...lying...yes that's it..." is usually how my apologies begin. "Doomed from the start" ring a bell?


My parents only make things worse. "Kev, does it seem like the Pastor is impatient with you?"

"No, why?"

"Oh, no reason."

"WHY?"

"Nothing. Just forget I said anything."

"But...but no!"

Or how other people hate me.


"You saw how they all pointed to you like you were a FREAK."

"What, Dad? Who are you talking about?"

"They did! From what you told me, they all thought you were an IDIOT when they suggested you."

"They DID?!"

"Oh...I don't know. Forget I said anything."

"NO!"


Curses.

"Do you think they think you're stupid?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know. They act like they do."

"WHA?"

"Forget I said anything."

"NO!"



Ooh, that man...but uh, I'm slowly learning, and that's what counts. Driving? That was easy to learn, 3 days or so and I was ready to go. Riding a bike? I crashed one time because I didn't know how to break (a lesson my parents took to the bank and applied to my driving learning course: braking first). Learning how to sucessfully interact with others? A long, harrowing process.

I hear some people go to their grave not learning how to interact with others properly.