Claw Machines. Kev likes them.

I like claw machines.

There, I said it.


Typed it, at least. There, I just said it. Verbally. You wouldn't of been able to hear me. See, I've always liked them. 50 cents a play, you get 2-5 toys per $5, along with the fun and the "Wow, you got this from a claw machine?!" to which you reply, "YEP! Cost me 50 cents!"

For some reason, they feel impressed by this. Great birthday gift. Perhaps it is that if you actually pay for a toy they feel...like you're a stalker. Otherwise, it's like, "Hey here's this neat stuffed, cheap toy- I just happened to win it and thought of you and here you go!"


It had been at least 5 years since I played a claw machine, and at least 8 years since I played to win (that means playing 10-20 times in a row, which guarantees lots of winnings). I've only played once or twice on a "bucket" styled claw machine (they have cheap fake jewelry and stuff and typically have them sitting in small, shiny rocks). That was at a bowling alley.

The reason I say "It had been" is that the most recent time I've played a claw machine was October 19th. It was at a Denny's.

For some reason, as I knelt down- then reached down- to put the coins in the coin acceptor less than two feet off the ground, I felt...sort of...like I am far too tall to be playing claw machines. But there were no children around, so I went for it. I always feel bad feeding coin after coin after coin into the machine while some poor kid watches. And they always watch. Amazedly. Then their parents come up. And look at you. Like you're...stupid, or something.


So, kids = parents = Kev getting looked at like he's a freak. Thus I avoid kids. From now on, I'm going to carry several dollars in quarters around with me, and if I happen to find a claw machine with a clear coast, I'm going to win big! I'll chronicle and photograph my prizes! It'll be great!

I just love winning those darned things. I have been on the lookout for 3+ weeks, and it appears no stores on my regular route have claw machines. Well, you know, I can't very well play a claw machine that's in the most-trafficked area of the store. I'll have to visit that one Denny's again sometime.

I'll make up bizarre reasons to go to that Denny's. "Uhh, Mom, I uh...have to go to the bathroom! Yeah! And that Denny's has a good bathroom! Let's go! We can both go to the bathroom. You know how you always, always have to go to the bathroom! In fact, you won't know if I'm really in the bathroom or playing the claw machine, so off you go!"

And she does always have to go to the bathroom, too, so it won't be a lie!