The Test Turkey -- Thanksgiving post #6

My Dad, several days ago, saw an article in the paper discussing grill-roasted turkey. It's like fried turkey in the realm of ...y'know, moist type of turkey. I guess. My Mom asked me to make a test turkey cooked in this fashion a few days ago. Luckily, my Mom's job gave us a turkey. They are so kind. It is only a year and a half old. It is only a year and a half old. It's only a year and a half old. Year and a half old.


Year and a half old.



It is a 12-pounder, so it's perfect for these instructions (I suggest not trying to spice the meat under the skin- it's too weird!). It cooked it very well. The breast meat got to 165 as the leg meat got to 185; make sure to test each breast and each leg, as the heat may not be centered. Apparently, probe thermometers and grills do not go together. Don't do it.


Only problem is...the turkey smelled funny. The last time I remembered smelling that smell- old, old turkey- was when we slaughtered our own. Eeew. That meat was so terrible. I told you about it, right? It weighed like 40 pounds? A 1-gallon ziptop bag- completely stuffed full with nothing but white meat- went to waste? Yeah. It was too horrible to eat. Even my parents- ever the optimists- admitted it was, well, horrible. It took them over a year of licking their wounds to acknowledge it, though.

So...it turns out that I can't be sure how well the grill method worked out. With a rotting bird, I can't be sure if the utter lack of broth, horrible texture, and bad taste are due to the rotting bird or the method of cooking. I assume it is the rotting bird, so I cannot therefore comment on how well the grill method works. Did you know it takes like 3 minutes a pound to cook a turkey in oil?


According to a show on right now- American Eats, on the History Channel, DirecTV channel 269, episode "Holiday Foods"- my Dad was right that it isn't that sly chemical in turkey that makes you tired after eating Thanksgiving dinner. I thought he was right. Apparently, according to their little blurb, it is carbohydrate overload. What my Dad thought. I'll have to tell him tomorrow. Here is a link to an article I didn't have time to read but assume explains it anyways.

Below is a picture of the turkey, after finishing roasting. It took more or less the amount of time described, but I had to flip it one more time (the left side was done, the right side was not). I only had to cook it for a few minutes on this side.




I guess I, currently, rather dislike these paranoid different methods of cooking turkey. Maybe some day I will grow out of it, but I long for the days of Mom's good-old-fashioned "plastic bag" turkeys. Oh, those were the days, back before I had anything to do with Thanksgiving. Except eating at the table.


I do so hope that Mommy will pick up some type of turkey roasting rack, because we do not have anything to hold the turkey above the liquid which will gather in the pan below it and Thanksgiving will be effectively ruined without it. I need to bake four pies tomorrow, as well as clean out the oven, as well as everything else that has to be done in the world. I am feeling better, however...more energy, and my tonsils/back of mouth is no longer sore. I will probably let my Mom bake the pumpkin pies, actually.

1 day to Thanksgiving! I am getting completely sick of making these update posts!