Have a Very Zelda Christmas...wait a minute...

When you think of Christmas, you might think, "Wow, Santa in a red suit, I am so happy." You can be content to think that. It's your right. You may also think, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas is totally gr8 d00d lol!" and that's also your opinion. Hippie.

Thus, it's my right for The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess to mean Christmas. Santa Claus in a suit doesn't put me in the holiday spirit (neither do turtle doves?). Jingle Bells doesn't put me in a holiday spirit (neither does uh, moss growing on a rock?). But oh, Link galloping around on that horse (Epona) and Sumo-wrestling with large, rock-eating creatures that wear underwear (Gorons) just puts me right in gear to enjoy a good Christmas. Then there's Midna!

There will be no stockings hung on the mantel for Santa to fill (besides, 'mantle' just makes me think of that Great King of Evil), no tree for gifts to be left under. No lights on the house and no cookies left out, and we won't be asleep before midnight. Bah-humbug, Santa isn't real.


Oh, but I will be planning quite a night of playing Twilight Princess with glee, as Santa supposedly passes over. Throwing aside tradition tha...wait a minute...

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......








Oh, dear.

Well...I am unsure how to deal with this. One on hand, I do not have a gun readily available. On the other hand, I did sharpen a knife just last week when I cut up all that meat. Decisions, decisions.

But before we end it all, let us contemplate reasonably like adults. The knife is dirty anyways. Seeing's how I began playing TP a year ago yesterday (the 22nd of December), I was supposed to begin playing yesterday. But church got in the way and said, "Nope, nope. Get to sleep early so that you can wake up in the middle of the night and get even less sleep than if you had just stayed up a few more hours."


Now like a ghost from the past I find out that TP will not play. Had I at least checked it yesterday, I would have been able to buy a new disc today on the way home. I am sure they're at a somewhat-possibly-reasonable price by now in the game stores. But no, I had to let my "I want to get to sleep" dreams get in my way. (Get it? Dreams? Sleep humor! Laugh, man!)

Now, let me go try once more, then I'll consider some more options.



Alright. Here's the history: bought the game and the Wii, December 22nd 2006. Played it for 9 hours a day for 7 days. Worked fine. Never stopped working. I put it away for a year. I come back and it does not read. It gets as far as the profile selection...then the color check...then it just does not start.

...well, I'm not all...in a happy mood right now. I did break tradition. I deserve this. The last time I broke tradition this bad was...let's see...

Actually...


I've never broken tradition this badly. Now I know that there is only one trick pony that can happy my mood. There is only one tricycle of joy that I can ride off into the sunset of glee. One wind of delight that can drift my hot-air balloon of gladness over the province of happiness.

Behold...I show unto you...the Zelda Rap. Complete with subtitles. Ooh, it burns. Can you literally feel the acid? Purifying...cleansing...no...just straight burning! Ah!


I think that's Link's uncle dude he lives with!

OH MAN, WHY IS LINK DANCING WITH SKELETONS AND ZOMBIES

WHY IS LINK AN ASIAN GIRL?

...WHY IS ZELDA AN ASIAN GIRL?!?


Quite honestly I have no idea why Agahnim is there so early. Wait...he did fight Link at first, didn't he?

SUPER FAMICOM

Link is totally the best dancer there, no wonder he pwnt Agahnim

LOL, there's that one FREAK that swung that mace when you try to rescue Zelda! I don't remember him looking like Ridley!

OH MY GOSH IT'S GANON HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL! LINK ZELDA STOP DANCING AND SHOOT HIM WITH LIGHT ARROWS!

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