What does Jesus want for His birthday?

So, I'm watching Rejoice on TCT right now. Apparently, you can't attend someone's birthday party without bringing the guest of honor a present, so we need to discover what Jesus wants for Christmas. Because he was totally born on December 25th.


They want to know my favorite Christmas carol; these people annoy me. Nevertheless, my favorite carol is Here Comes Paul.

You've heard Here Comes Paul, right?

What? You totally haven't? No way, dude. You're lying! Really? Hmm.


Well, it goes like this. It sounds sort of like another song that involves somebody coming down a lane, so you can sing it to that tune if you like.


Here comes Paul!
Here comes Paul!
Right down Pauline lane!
Romans, 2 Corinthians, Galatians and Ephesians,
Philippians and Colossians!
Rightly dividing right and left,
The four Gospels aren't to us,
Cause Paul is our Apostle yeah!

Here comes Paul!
Here comes Paul!
Right down Pauline lane!
He's got teachings direct from Christ
And he tells us just the same.
2 Thessalonians, 2 Timothies and
Philemon just for us.
Rightly divide, else Law and Grace collide
You just gotta divide them right.


My parents don't really like it. Typically they enjoy my songs, so I can only assume there is a silent resentment or pot of simmering despite brewing. We will see how the plot unfolds, and once it does, we will strike it over the head. Or...other aptly named appendage that is ripe for the striking.


Their problem is that they get caught up in the technicalities...they fail to see the big picture. Usually, I fail to see the big picture. The big picture is this: carolers on every corner of every third street, all singing Here Comes Paul. Yes...yes.



As for TCT's Here is the festering, maggot-infested tag of Things I Hate Rejoice, I give it a 2/10 for their unbridled, raw, amazingly embarrassing display which causes me to disgust them very, very deeply. Not since Tim and Willy in the Mornings have I been this purely disgusted with a talk show based upon viewing them for less than 10 minutes.

Now if you'll excuse me...I need to go simmer for a while. Ooh, ahh, anger. Tss. Hot.