Taco Bell's Chipotle Grilled Stuft Burrito

So, on Wednesday, I pulled into Taco Bell. Root Beer was the drink of the day (I am not sure why I was craving root beer that day), and sure enough, they serve MUG root beer there. Usually I do not drink soda, so I wasn't sure what they served.

Then I saw a "chipotle grilled stuft burrito." I like Jack in the Box's breakfast steak and egg burritos with chipotle sauce (it's on my top 5 of fast food favorites! Right under "salad!"), so I figured I'd try Taco Bell's burrito and see how I liked it.

"And...one of the chipotle grilled stuft burritos."

The lady sighed. "Do you want chicken or steak tonight?"

"Uhh, steak, I guess."

"What?! Do you have ANY idea how much suffering goes on in those feed lots?! It's plain inhumane, it's pure animal abuse, it's unadulterated cruelty, it's unfathomable murder, it's a sure sign of a human superiority complex!" she railed.

I sat silent for a second, stunned. Her speech contained the 5 "it's" of a certain animal rights organization.

"Uhh...ma'am..."

"And another thing! Do you have any idea how unhealthy meat is for you?! It's right there under CYANIDE! It's right there under LETHAL RAT POISONING, WHICH IS ALSO INHUMANE! It's right there under SAWED OFF SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE!" she screamed.

I looked ahead, perplexed, as I considered my options; amongst them, asking to speak to someone else and ordering 10 of the burritos with double steak just to spite her. Then I reconsidered.

"Uhh...m-...miss," I reformed my words. I figured if I called her "miss," perhaps she would think I think that she's younger, take it as a compliment, and allow me to speak. I am unsure if I was right or if she simply had had her say.


"I uh, if you feel that strongly about it, I'd be fine with chicken." She sighed resignedly. "And you'll never eat steak again?" her voice crackled through, just chock full of conditional acceptance. "Uhh, I never said that! M-"

"DON'T YOU KN-" "ALRIGHT, I'LL NEVER EAT STAKES AGAIN, THERE ARE YOU HAPPY?" I yelled back. The people in the car behind me didn't quite know what to think, except not to order steak. I could imagine them desperately changing their menu to eliminate cow.

"...alright," she said resignedly. You can obviously see, as it was written, that I was referring to "stakes," the vampire-bane wooden spiked objects. I never eat those anyways, so being brought under the bondage of that law is fine.

I pulled forward. Then I decided I'd mess with her head. These types are usually very impressionable.

I paid, then once she gave me my food, I affected a haunting type of voice. "Oooh, I am the graaand eldeeeer of DECA (I coughed for effect), the Don't Eat Cow Association, ooooogabooogahagahGACK!" I stated, making Jedi-like gestures with my hands. Her eyes widened. I continued.

"Uhh, my daughter, you have paaassed the test laid in front of yooou, you have done weeell...not well doooone...that's an evil teeeerm..." I nodded afterward. That was a good line, I said inwardly.

She handed me a clipboard out of nowhere. I took it, surprised. "I-WECA" was on it in big letters. "Sir," she began. "I know that I have need of signing your eye-wecka form, but could you still sign mine? No one will sign it, and it'd be like an autograph!"

"UHH, suffer it to beeee, but not unto meee, suffer it now, I don't need proof I won't eat cooow," I said as I drove off, dropping the clipboard on the ground. I felt just like Merlee! You know, from Paper Mario: TTYD. She always rhymes. She's cool.

If you notice, I am talking a lot about video games, as they're racing through my head faster than Goldeneye: 007 with the "turbo" cheat. Why is this? Well, I completed Metroid Prime 3 several days ago (I'm taking a good lot of time writing the review), and I have nothing to play. I am playing ALttP on DS, but I haven't played that for a few days, either. I suppose I should spend some time on it, as it's been well over a year since I first played it on the SNES.

I'm just so danged giddy about playing Twilight Princess again. According to official records, December 22nd was when the Wii was purchased (and I played TP that night), so December 22nd is when I can start playing. I'm very specific about such things. It's one of those strengths that's a weakness.



Oh, and the burrito wasn't very good. Way too much chipotle sauce.