Updated Posts: How I almost fell for Charismania

Check the "sister" post, Church This Week: December 16th, 2007. Note: I am rearranging, editing, and linking to posts, and this is a gradual process, so this may not show up immediately. Note: what I meant was that I was still writing the other post.

I edited and updated some posts today. I need to update all but 80 or so of my posts due to grammatical errors and wording issues.

I updated the posts:

Hold Up, Wait a Minute
Reflection of Kev
Tomorrow
"GO"


For grammatical or otherwise errors. I retained most of the heart-wrenchingly embarrassing contents of the latter two.


Why did I update these posts today, and not in order like all the other posts I update in the dead of night? Well, the first two were random, but the latter two were so I could discuss my dad's involvement in the justice system. Pastor made an announcement yesterday on the state of our miniature prison ministry (we send a few guys information, they learn it, we all win!).



During the time my dad was in jail, he had to deal with a guy named Mike. Mike, knowingly or not, tried to shipwreck our faith. The typical charismatic preacher centered around money.


See these posts: Tomorrow and "GO". (Lord Jesus Christ, help me to cope with the unstoppable embarrassment! Aah! Making himself of no reputation! In all lowliness! AHH, IT BURNS! ACID, ACIIID!)

Post Twin Powers activate, and together they detail the before and after of what happens when you allow your emotions to guide you and (almost) lose secure spiritual footing. I now understand so much more than I did at that time, but I knew enough then to know that he was not correct.


He was a preacher or pastor type guy. Traveled around. His trouble began when his pyramid scheme collapsed; he was sent to jail, and sentenced to 3 months. He ran the scheme with two other people, and between them they had to pay back $3,000,000. I am unsure of the logistics, but it seems a life sentence; for example, 400 years is just for the "rest of life" effect, like this 3 mil is. I'm sure he won't pay it all off. Though he did attempt to wrangle us into a pyramid scam while he was still in jail, so uh...yeah. Maybe he will pay it off, if he keeps that up!


He can talk a good talk, but doesn't mention much scripture. I was thinking last night of why Hal Lindsey frustrates me, and I came up with "He doesn't give a scrip of scripture," or "He doesn't exactly put the scrip in scripture." Ooh, that's almost as cold as an email I sent my Pastor today. Ice, ice, ice. I spoke of how non-computer users are fools who just slum their way through life, oblivious. I got a taste of it during the 4-day computer break, and it made me sick.


Anyway, Mike claimed he had a direct line of contact with God. Verbally, through dreams, to his heart, "whatever." He claimed he healed a baby back to life. He also claimed that the hand of God reached down and drug him out of the water, or an angel, or whatever. He expressed no doctrine beyond "the Father, Son and Holy Ghost." I guess that's almost all you need, but still, no edification whatsoever, and no rooting or grounding in Grace or any establishing. Problem: I was immediately blinded by him because I had previously never talked to anyone (outside of my mom/dad) about Christ.

Due to our lack of personal leadership (I had never been in a church before our current church) Mike almost had us believing in miracle healings. He had fooled my dad, and I trusted my dad on it, thus fooling me as well (not that I'm bashing my dad!). If you read the aforelinked posts, Tomorrow and "GO", you can see my progress from trusting the guy to realizing he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. Simply, I now realize that what I experienced was far, far too full of "plot holes" to be of God. No rhyme or reason to it, and I refuse to have a fearful faith.


Finally, once more I'll answer the question, Why was my dad in jail?

I don't think I can answer this enough...basically, he used to drink heavily. He then got arrested for drunk driving. Then he got released from prison, and failed probation. He was then "on the lamb" for 10 years; he did not actively "run," they just never found him. He turned himself in last November, and was in jail for 5 months. Then released on normal probation.

After he became legal, we began attending church (also, he and mom got remarried), and that's where I heard about this prison ministry, prompting this post. Cause and effect, isn't it a great thing?

We sort of have a tender spot in our heart for the prison ministry, because we know what it's like to be so limited in our intake of knowledge. My dad does, at least, and I know what it's like to be an older son, and my mom knows what it's like to be a wife.



Pastor has a slight way of letting people know stuff needs to be done. At the Lord's Table this year, he said that we'd be needing someone to teach classes in the future. I knew he was talking to me, but I let him think I didn't know. I just smiled patiently.


But this week, he spoke directly to me about it! He suggested I go kick a cop in the knee real hard, and then I can insert myself into the prison system, and start a Grace congregation! I asked him, "But then won't I be locked up?" and he said "Go read Acts 16:23-24." Sure enough, it DOES say Paul was locked in jail, and apparently an earthquake broke him out! Yes, a grand plan! So, here's how it'll work:

• Kick a police officer in the knee (figure out what "real hard" is on the force continuum)
• During the arrest, tell him "I'll tell you when I've had enough!" and ask where my whiskey is
  
• Act belligerent to the judge to increase my sentence from "knee kicking" to "prison time"
• Arrive at prison and instantly begin my new Grace congregation
• When the prisoners hear our Christ is Lord Gracetet (like a quartet), that'll be God's cue for the earthquake
• I convert Joe Arpaio, who will be visiting randomly and sleeping at the prison.

I can't wait!