The name's Smoothie...Kefir Smoothie.

As you may know, we got a Magic Bullet for Christmas from my dearest Granny (thanks!). I guess it's time for me to start having "Kefir Smoothies" for breakfast again. My mom is pressuring me into it because "I like kefir and she hates it but she still drinks it so you should have a kefir smoothie so that you suffer too!"

Now, sorry for the language, but I don't give a DAMN if you know what kefir is or not.


I came up with this formula:

1. 6 oz strong kefir
2. 3 oz frozen fruits (strawberries give it that pink color; pastor this week told me to go pick some peaches, and I don't know if they're in season or not (according to mom, it's May)...yellow smoothies don't hold the same charm, but this is an ingredients list, how did I manage to start a line about what my pastor said in his sermon this week?!)
3. .5-1.5 oz sweetener, either honey or maple syrup (or some freak zero-calorie thing, preferably Stevia I guess?); adjust level accordingly, as kefir and fruits vary
4. 2 egg yolks (yes, raw; I couldn't suggest this if they were city eggs, so use your best discretion...or....judgment...or...do some research or something, 'kay?)
   
5. Vanilla to preference; I am not allowed to have vanilla in mine (we make our own vanilla with vanilla beans and vodka), because I am a closet drunk, and if I have a little, I have to have a lot, apparently.
6. Optional: 1 tsp. Cod Liver Oil. We have a special kind of Cod Liver Oil that doesn't taste like fish, and it's actually good (though the viscosity is still there; I swish it around in my mouth with water to remove the viscosity.) PLEASE read my mom's post on her blog: Cod Liver Oil. We order it in 12-packs. I wouldn't take it if it tasted like fish liver.
   

Then you blend it all up until it's blended and drink it. The important part is the blending, and the Magic Bullet does a bit better than a blender (and we've tried 3+ blenders), and it has 5 glasses so cleanup is tons easier.


Well, off I go. I'm making fried chicken tonight (chicken strips, not pieces) with a mayonnaise and chipotle sauce. Oh, and I'm sorry, I guess I really do care if you know what kefir is. Basically, it's kind of like yeast. But it makes milk into a type of watery yogurt (instead of rising wheat and water); you put milk in the "grains," and they make it into somewhat-thin, tart
"yogurt" that a lot of people hate and some people like. It's a different kind of yogurt I guess, I don't know.

You strain it, then put more milk, and the grains slowly grow. Maybe my mom has some links that explain it. (Mom, I linked to your blog twice in this post, you OWE me, so comment the information.) We have ample supplies of the grains, so if anyone wants to try it, contact my mom. Note: the stuff in the store isn't real kefir. That stuff is actually good; if it doesn't make your ears flatten, it isn't the real stuff.